Differing views on how to raise our children in religion?

Question

I Have 3 children and need help. My husbands family is VERY catholic, and he was raised catholic. He really doesn't follow the catholic religion anymore. I have been babtised, but that was about the extent of my religous background. CCD classes are coming up for my oldest and I don't want her to go. She has been baptised but I want her to have the right to make her own decision about religion. my hubbie wants her to go, but he won't support her thru it because he doesn't follow Catholisism anymore. We both believe in god, and have brought up are children that way, but we both feel that you don't need to go to church to have faith. I do't want to force my daughter into religion, especially one that we don't support. Should we let her go to CCD as my husbands family insists? any help or advice is appreciated

Answer 1

Please do not force her to go. A person can only choose to be religious once they are free thinking adults. I was never forced to attend any religious instruction and I have chosen my path with little difficulty. The greatest gift you can give your child is free will.

Answer 2

I think you should send the child to the classes more for the value systems that the classes give than the religious perspective. Its a very noble thought to let the child choose her own religion. But I dont think a child, till he/she crosses their teenage will be able to make a reasonable judgement. Most of us adults find it hard to make such a call too!

More than the religion, the value system such classes give are very important and what a child learns at a young age, usually stays for the rest of their lives. Children can be influenced easily and what they see/hear often during their formative years forms the basis of their personality in most of the cases. So, even if you forget the religious perspective, if you send the child looking at just the values the classes impart, I'm sure your child would grow up to be a wonderful human being.

Answer 3

--Is Catholic and answers as such--

First before I answer, let me be very clear on this. It is your responsibility as parents to educate your child in all things including religion. This is expressly spelled out in canon law, the promises of your Catholic marriage, the catechism and countless other places. If your children are below the age of reason, it is not their sin, but it is the parent's sin. If she is below the age of being responsible for her activities, then it is up to you and her father to make sure her activates are the best for her, that includes being formed morally and educated about God. This part of your child's life, God is not going to take up with them, but rather with you.

That said, I want you to do the following.

1. Buy a copy of the Compendium to the Catechism (published this year).
2. Buy a copy of The Faith of the Early Fathers by Jurgens.
3. Read both of these and ask yourself 1. DO I WANT MY CHILD TO BELIEVE IN THIS? WOULD THIS BE HEALTHY FOR MY CHILD TO BELIEVE IN?
4. Tell your child this: I am not sure about the Catholic Faith but I want you to study it so that you can make a decision about it. I will talk with you about what I am unsure of, you will talk about what you are unsure of, and we will see what the Catholic Church has to say and see if that makes any sense and if that is something that you want to believe in. (ie treat your kid like an intellectual person who can make her own decisions but insist that they be informed decisions).
5. Send your Child to CCD but tell your child that you and she will also talk about the Faith together and use the Compendium to the Catechism in these discussions.
6. Tell your child that if they do not wish to be confirmed, they do not have to.

REMEMBER THIS: Not forcing your child into religion is FORCING your child into no religion.

If you follow through with this plan, which I admit is daring, you will see a true change in the closeness of your family as well as a deeper understanding of religion, no matter what you ultimately choose to do.

Answer 4

why would you two send your child to something that you don't follow yourself, this is your child not your husbands family, come on you sound smart enough to know that Catholicism is fanatical, just raise your child by your own beliefs, if you have faith in God then that is good enough for God, I can't even begin to tell you how many people I have met that were raised Catholic and later in life either changed their denomination or just woke up and practiced in their own way, personally I wouldn't screw up my kids by sending them to Catholic anything, on a different note, how can certain Catholics still back their priests who have been charged with molestation, these people are twisted and like I said earlier,, fanatical good luck

Answer 5

God wants us to attend church or he wouldnt had his disciples to set up churches. All believers should gather and draw strength from one another. I think if you don't want them raised in a Catholic church then you should find one that teaches close to God's teachings. You say don't force them, but may I add that I have heard many adults in church testify that they are glad their mom and dad made them go to church. Most of those people who testified are preachers now, missionaries, and laymen for God. Trust God to show you the path you must take..

Answer 6

well you are right. you don't need to go to church to HAVE faith. just believe in God. its up to you guys. but if my husband doesnt want my daughter to do that then just have your daughter pray to God. God will forgive you. but it does require that you go to church. but since you dont do that oh well. its up to you. try changing religions, check some out. u never know some religions might be satisfying to you and your husband and daughter.

Answer 7

She is your child, not theirs. Follow your own beliefs and stand your ground, regardless of what they think.

Best wishes.