i currently live in a 1-bedroom apartment. my 21-month old sleeps in a toddler bed across the room. i'm moving soon, and was looking at both 1 and 2-bedroom apartments. i can save money by getting a 1-bedroom and sharing the room, as is status quo. or i can get a 2-bedroom and she can have her own space. at her mom's house, she shares a bedroom with her little sister.
my mom thinks i should get a 1-bedroom. she says i need to save the money and that she doesn't need her own bedroom till she's 3 or 4 years old.
on the other hand, my gf thinks i should get a 2-bedroom. she says that if CPS is called and i'm sharing a bedroom with my daughter, they'll take her away.
so, i just want to know which way i should go and what other people's experience in this area is. thanks!
2006-07-08 07:14:17 · 19 answers · asked by caysdaddy04 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
just for clarification, i do NOT live with my gf. i am actually moving out of state, to las vegas. if anyone knows the laws for nevada regarding this, please add your comments.
2006-07-08 08:00:25 · update #1
I think your girlfriend is just wanting privacy with you. The biggest issue here is how both you and your daughter feel about this. I strongly disagree with the Ferber method of seperating yourself from your child. How will she learn to trust anyone if she can't trust that you are there? I had my own bedroom as a child, but actually shared a bed with my parents from about the age of 2 to 3, when my mom got pregnant with my brother and they just explained to me that I couldn't share the bed with them because they had to protect the baby (I've always been a restless sleeper and I'd kick). So then I slept on a pile of pillows and blankets in their walk-in closet (by choice). I'd switch off. By the age of about 6 or so, I was back in my own room every night. I'm fine now, no dependency issues.
CPS would only take your daughter away if they have reasonable suspicion that you are molesting her, and just her sleeping in your room is not even close to enough evidence. Plenty of people can't afford two-bedroom spaces.
What can you afford? What would provide the best life for your daughter at this time? And the biggest question of all, has it really been much of a problem yet? If you feel the need for privacy, or she has expressed a desire to have her own space, then a 2-bedroom is probably the way to go. But if neither of you have a problem with it, why spend the extra money just yet? She's not even 2 yet, she probably feels tons of comfort knowing you're around.
The biggest thing I can stress to you is it really doesn't matter what anyone but you and her think. If you decide to get a 2-bedroom, if she still wants to sleep with you on and off, let her. Remember, you are going to a new place, it's hard to sleep in unfamiliar environments, so she's going to want to know you are there.
2006-07-08 08:14:19 · answer #1 · answered by Manders 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I seriously doubt CPS is going to take your daughter away from you because she sleeps in the same room as you. You should be happy your daughter is even sleeping in her own bed, most babies don't even do that. If you think there is any truth that CPS will take her away, call and ask the laws. Also, you should check with your state about the laws for occupany. I know that when I had my son, my BF and I HAD to get a 2 bedroom because the State of Oklahoma will not allow 3 people to live in a one bedroom. Hope this info was helpful, good luck.
2006-07-08 14:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by quila_howell 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely the 2-bedroom. If you teach her to sleep in her own room at an early age, she'll think nothing of it. If not, she'll refuse to by the time she's 3-4. If you let her sleep in your room too long, she'll become scared of sleeping alone. And the CPS thing could definitely happen. I don't know about Nevada laws, but it could happen. So I really think the 2-bedroom is best. Hope I helped.
2006-07-16 04:45:32 · answer #3 · answered by Melody 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If u get a 1 bedroom apartment then give the little girl her own room and u sleep in living room...Because ur g/f is right...about the cpa..They will take her away...but, if u show them that she has her own room and u r in the living room sleeping then they can not do nothing...But , if u want privacy then u need a 2 Bedroom...And tell ur mother that was back then this is now...Things has change through the years...Now, the welfare saids every bedroom will hold 4 of the same sex per room...Trust me I know...
2006-07-08 14:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by tshee70 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I live in Northern Nevada and as far as I know she would need her own room, the occupancy rules apply in Nevada and most apartment complexes, and even private owners, would tell you to take a two bedroom. And as someone wrote earlier, toddlers are not stupid; they soak up everything that they see like a sponge, if there is any sort of sexual contact between you and your girlfriend and she See's it there is a possibility that she will remember it subconsciously. The best thing to do.... Get a two bedroom.
2006-07-08 15:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by chandraking2002 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the first three answers, definately get her her own room.
I did have my first in my bed with us for the first 2 years or so, and it was a royal pain. She's 5 & STILL wants to sleep with us all the time, and it's very annoying, but it's my own fault.
The second I had sleep in his own bed (in our room) after the first month. He did just fine. He is 3-1/2 and has his own room and does fine. I would have had the kids have their own rooms sooner, but it was a matter of space & logistics.
I think if it's possible to get her her own room, you should do so. It's better for her mental growth & development, and I think your friend has a point about CPS. It's better though to live your life so that CPS is not a presence in your life whatsoever- do whatever it takes. They have way, way too much power, and frankly CPS scares me to pieces.
2006-07-08 14:29:21 · answer #6 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She probably won't even LIKE sleeping in another bedroom, so I would just stick with the one bedroom. I'm not sure about the laws in that state, though. If your girlfriend isn't mom she needs to BUTT OUT and let you raise your daughter. Mine are 4 years adn 16 months and BOTH sleep in my room.
2006-07-15 16:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by Sadie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ur moms completly right i have my son's bed in our since he was a baby and i gave him his own room but hes never in it he brings his toys in the living room and our edroom, so u could wait a bit before u get a 2 bedroom apartment and cps won't take her away, they have to prove u unfit, just sharing a room isn't unfit its quite commonsense, shes little i could see if she was 16 or something and still didn't have her own space but shes not even 2 and shes so small u can make her her own space in ur room hope that helps
2006-07-15 20:15:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a 2 bedroom when my daughter was born we only had a 1 bedroom for awhile and when we got a 2 bedroom it was hard to get her to sleep in her own room the younger they are to have their own room the better it will be my daugher loves her own room shes just turned 13 she goes and plays with her toys and stuff and as far as cps i have never heard of that
2006-07-11 19:29:50 · answer #9 · answered by angelchelle_26 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a 2 bedroom.
2006-07-08 14:59:15 · answer #10 · answered by weatherkari 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋