Is having a big family in this day and really so dreadful?

Question

I don't have kids but I would love a big family, 6 or 8 kids. everyone keeps going about how expensive it would be and how you won't have time for yourself, but surely the most important things in life don't cost anything and if I wanted time to myself , I wouldn't have kids at all

Answer 1

I have 5 children! The comments you have heard are a bit misleading.

There is a bit of a "start up cost factor" but the dividends on a large family pay off a hundred fold!(If you invest your time and energy into your children)

If you want a large family then go for it! Just be reasonable and not expect others/ the government to pay for and raise them.

Expect to put yourself on hold for a while and then expect to find that you are happier than you could ever have imagined! Especially in your old age! Nothing like a large family for holidays and just sit around time!

I am blessed and don't for a second regret having my large family!

Best wishes!

(married 20 + years)

Answer 2

I think you really need to think about WHY you want kids in the first place. I am concerned when someone gives a number of what they want before they even have one.

What is dreadful? Probably the most is that with more bodies on earth they are using up more resources and those 6-8 will have kids and so on. That is why we now have way too many people on earth. Our resources are strapped and we have famines in poor countries, etc., etc. The next big thing will be wars for resources and food, mark my words, it is already happening. Just look at Africa, good example, the average person has 8 children.

I suggest you think again about the number you chose. I suggest you ask yourself why you want a child(ren) at all (is this societal, family pressure), what is your main reason. And let's not forget the male in the picture. How will you know if he will be a good father figure? Do you think any man in this day and age with some sense would want to support a lot of children? I can't imagine why any woman would want to put her body through that, and not figure out how she could better serve the world. Maybe using your time to help children already here, adopt, be a foster parent, etc. That would be a real service to the world.

I have seen way too many women have children and REGRET it, yes, regret it. These are great women, wonderful mothers but if they could do it all over again....no kids or limit the number severely.

Answer 3

I would rather bring 3 or 4 kids up really well as opposed to stretching myself with 6 or 8 kids. In this day and age it is all about quality of life. I live in Ireland. Catholic families here tend to be large. Not as much these days with secularisation. But from what I have seen family members desperately compete with one another for parents attention, affection and for material things. My mothers mother (my grandmother) had 14 children. From what I have been told every one of them had a very tough childhood and are all now really bitter messed up adults - except maybe for the two youngest of the 14 - all the others had moved out of the family home by the time they came along.

So I think it can have dreadful consequences. Some parents with large families simply just desperately juggle all the various responsibilities in their lives. The kids and the parents suffer. If I had a child I would want the time to help them grow into the best human beings they can be. This is a hard task with 1 or 2 never mind 8.

Answer 4

having a big family is not a bad thing but you will not have any time for your self and kids do cost a lot but if you want 6 or 8 kids you do that it doesent matter what any one else thinks just do what you want to do.

Answer 5

Yes children are expensive and a big responsibility. So start saving money right now and make sure your are mature enough for the responsibility.
Good jobs for you and you significant other,a home, a good health plan
and life insurance just in case are all very important.

Answer 6

I have got four children. I had only planned on having two but I had to have IVF and had twins and then, when they were 9 months old, I fell pregnant naturally and had twins again !!

It is very, very expensive having four kids and it is very difficult booking a holiday as a lot of places only cater for a family of four !

You are also limited to choice of car as, obviously, you have to have enough seats for them all.

At the beginning, I found it very difficult and did miss having time to myself but they can go to playgroup for a couple of hours a day once they are 2 and a half and then, before you know it, they are at school full-time.

The pleasure I get from them far outweighs anything I have had to sacrifice.

Answer 7

because im only young myself i know that when they get older i have all the time in the world to myself/hubby

but that said it is really expensive and there are things that i would love to have but my kids come first

but luckly i have a great family net work so they never go without anything

so no its not dreadful, but can be hard work

Answer 8

There are 5 children in my family. Money runs short sometimes. I think if you are able to raise 6 7 8 children go for it. It can get rough because no one will ever have even things. There's always going to be someone unhappy with something. Good luck.

Answer 9

Not just financially but think about what a waste of space those kids would be. You wouldnt be able to cast your eyes on all of the kids at once - therefore you will turn out to be a bad mother who is irresponsible Tsk tsk. You should also stop thinking about yourself and think about the impact of all these kids

Answer 10

The lady I call mom biologically has 6 children. She claims me, introduces me as her daughter. But anyway. Her children have more fun than any other family I know. One time, about 2 years ago, we were playing hide-and-go-seek at her house. One of her boys, Derek, went up in a tree to hide. When her youngest boy (Dennis age14) found him, Dereck ran across the roof barefoot. Dennis then tried to run across and get him. Almost to the end of the house, Dennis' feet get to hot. Instead of getting off the way Derek did, Dennis turned bak around. I know it doesn't sound very funny, but I laughed so hard I cried. This is one of the many fond moments I remember having over there. I think that if you have the means to support them, go ahead. Moms' house is the house that all the kids that live around them go to. I mean, invite 2 or 3 more kids, and you have enough people to play whatever sport you want to!!! I know people that criticize them for having so many kids, but I truly admire them. I once met a man in Wal-Mart who had 10 kids!!!! It's nice to know that there are still people out there who are teaching their kids that money isn't the most important thing in the world. I love going over there, and bring my son over there as much as possible. I think having that a lot of kids helps keep you young. I mean, mom and dad are in their 40's now, but when ever a game of volleyball is getting ready to get started, they are right there, waiting to be picked for the teams. Go ahead and have as many kids as you can provide for. Remember to invite me and my son over to play sometime!!!!