If you're a christian,how do you ...?

Question

How do you handle things whenever a family member
especially a son, is constantly getting "miffed" about something? He & his family live in our home,rent free.
We do not live there,since we stay with my mom caring for her.It makes it hard on us.

I appreciate all the answers. To fill in a little
more, I raised him & his sister in a christian
home, he went to church. My husband & I are in our seventies & have to care for my 91 yr. old mom in her home. My son wanted to sell out & move here from another state to help us,since my husband can't handle all the yard upkeep & we have no help with my mom. He promised to take care of all the chores & stay with mom sometimes so we could go somewhere,&
let them live in our house. They don't do all the things they promised, did for a while.
He gets mad if we tell him he needs to do
somethig thats important about the house.
We don't have anyone else to help. My daughter lives in Florida, & it worries her
about the situation. He's a good person,but resents us telling him what needs to be done.

Answer 1

I do not view "hard love" as anti-Christian. Although we want to be supportive in sharing in our decisions and actions, we must remember that these values carry over to living life in an exemplary fashion. Your progeny will most benefit from gaining an understanding that there are reasonable and justifiable rules we must live by. Your son's children, and their children, will learn from the example you provide. In some cultures it is quite acceptable for extended families to live together, but it is obvious that you are bothered by the lifestyle you are in. My advice would be to either ask them to learn to live by the reasonable rules you establish as the head of your personal household, or leave the nest. You might, of course, choose to help him financially in such a move, and you should always do your part to keep your love strong and communication channels open. Or, as an alternative, you and your spouse might choose to move to smaller accommodations, particularly if you are nearing retirement, and sell the house--providing an opportunity for your son to make the purchase at a fair market value. Home is where the heart is. Whatever you decide, it sounds to me that the best example to provide to your son would be to help him sprout his own set of wings.

Answer 2

A son must show parents respect - I really don't care about todays trend of letting kids get by with no punishment at all, producing only rebellious ungrateful self centered hoodlums.

Some kids just turn out that way despite proper raising - and then finally there are kids who's parents punish their kids for anything and everything and the kid ends up really bad and with good reason.

I don't know how he was raised - but I do believe grown or not, needs to show respect, especially of he is living in your house rent free. He has no reason to gripe but every reason to show gratitude.

LAY DOWN THE LAW -and if he doesn't like it tell him to find some other person to suck blood from. And do feel free to inform him you will not tolerate disrespect any longer.

Answer 3

As a christian sit his ungrateful butt down and explain the facts of life to him tell him granny is tired of being the "go to person" every time his nose gets outta joint. Tell him you love him, which I know you do but he needs to shape up or else. Try some tough love whats the worse that can happen ?? He moves out good then you can rent the place and get some extra cash that you need or have been working your tail off all these years and made it on your own!!!!!

Answer 4

Why are you allowing him to live there rent free ?
You are not teaching them responsibility by doing this. I am sure they are not being very good at handling their income. If he is always miffed about something he sounds like he's angry & needs discipline, especially from you.
Does he & his family attend a Church & tithe ?

Answer 5

Ever hear of tough love. He is your son, living in house. He doesn't like something, well he has got to go or start paying rent. But that is me with limited knowledge of what is going on.

So if I am off base then kindly ignore my answer.

Answer 6

u make him be have no matter what, if he lives in the house he must abide by the rules just the same as everyone else dont be afraid to hurt someones feelings. u dont have to go thru hell just to help someone out. helping someone should not mean enterupting an entire familys life n well being

Answer 7

Perhaps it would be best to to tell him its is time to
work something else out, by letting him live there rent
free it is telling him it is OK to be weak and he doesn't
need to be strong. Tell him he can take care of himself
and his family, because with what God gave him he is
very strong and very capable. Do you think Jesus would tell
him what he wants to hear or what he needs to. Maybe
the reason he gets miffed is because he feels insecure
and unable to take care of himself. Reassure him that he can.

Answer 8

For starters, start charging the lazy sob rent. If he gets ticked off easily, you might suggest he take anger management classes or get out of your house before he destroys it.

Answer 9

If he is not appreciative, move him out and rent it out. It isn't fair to anyone to let him mooch off of you.

Answer 10

Just the right thing to do, kick them out! Free loaders suck!