Whats your best blonde joke?

Question

I've heard alot but not enough...what i want to know is what's the best?!

Answer 1

There's a blond, a brunette, and a redhead. They're all at the doctor's office(pregnant). The redhead says "I'm having a girl cause I was on top"... The brunette says "I'm having a boy cause I was on bottom"... The blond thinks real hard for a minute and says "In that case, I'm having puppies".... LMAO That's the only good one I know:)

Answer 2

I'm not blonde but I have this;

A smart blonde joke.

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.

She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at The blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally...a smart blonde joke.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

Answer 3

Here it is:

One day 12 blondes and one brunette were hanging off a rope that was connected to a plane which was flying in the air. Under the plane and the rope was the sea. The rope could not hold all of the people and one person would have to sacrifice themselves to save the others. The brunette started this huge, very moving, heart jerking speech about how she would let go to save the others. Once she was finished all of the blondes were so moved, they started clapping. Problem solved.
Hope u liked it!

Answer 4

There were 99 Blondes and a brunette on a plane. The pilot put the oxygen masks on and shouted we're going to crash unless we lose weight. So The blondes and brunette chucked all the seats out the window. The pilot shouts we need less weight!!! so the blondes and brunettes unscrew the floor and dangle from the roof. The Pilot then says... we need a person to jump off and all the blondes pointed to the brunette and the brunette said may i have one last request? the blondes agreed so the brunette started singin - If your happy and you know it clap your hands - and all the blondes clapped there hands and fell off - that shows how dumb blondes are apart from Billie Piper :D

Answer 5

This doesn't qualify as a joke, but I know a blonde woman that received a chocolate CD for Valentine's Day. She is the blonde boss where I used to work. She put it in her computer, and tried to run it!! After a moment, this horrible smell was all over the office, as the scent of burnt chocolate, and electronics wafted through the air. Her father (the big boss) ran in there to see what had been done. When they realized it was a chocolate CD, and that she had put it in her computer, no one got any work done for the rest of the day! We were to busy laughing!! They had to replace her computer, of course, so she lost all the information on the computer. To this day, when she receives any kind of CD, she thoroughly inspects it before placing it in her computer.

YES!! THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!! LOL!!!

Answer 6

A blonde goes into a bank on Saturday to borrow 10 thousand dollars for a week long trip to France.
The loan officer tells her that he will need something to hold since he couldn't check her credit.
Is my Porsche good enough.
Sure, just hand over the title and park the car in our garage.
The bank hopes they get the car.
Sure enough she comes back the next week to pay the 10 thousand and the fifty dollars interest.
The loan officer asks why she needed the 10 thousand because when they checked her credit they found out she was rich.
She replies, where else in New York can you park your car for $50.00 for a week and expect your car to be there when you return.

Answer 7

a blond and a red head are sitting at a bar and the news comes on and reads "depressed man stands on the edge of the bay bridge threatinng to jump"

The red head looks to the blond and say "I got 50 bucks says that man jumps" so the blond replies, "you got yourself a bet!"

The news draggs on and eventually the man jumps to his death. SO the blonde forks over the cash and the red head says "I cant take your money, I saw this earlier on the morning news I knew what he was gonna do"

To which the blond reply "Yea I saw it earlier too, I didn't think the guy would do it TWICE!"

Answer 8

ok i have 2 that i think are really funny

the first..... How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves..... she fell out of the tree.

the second...... there was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head, they were being chased by the police, they ran into an abandoned warehouse, the brunette, red head, and the blonde find separate brown bags to hide in. the police officer comes across the bag with the brunette in it and taps the bag he hears "meow", so he continues his search when he finds the bag with the red head, he taps it and hears "woof", so he continues his search where he finds the bad with the blonde and again taps on the bag and hears "bag".

thats my favorite blonde joke lol.

Answer 9

Have you heard the one about the blonde in the m & m factory? She got the sack for throwing out all the w's

Answer 10

The Interview


Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder.

Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you?
Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

The second blonde said, "Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but... "He flashed the
photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The third blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Answer 11

How do you drown a blonde?
A1: put a scratch n' sniff onthe bottom of a pool.
A2: put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
either answer works
what do u get if u line up 10000 blondes ear to ear from califonia to alaska?
A: the alaskin pipeline.