My boyfriend's little girl is 4. When we are out and about, we go to the public washroom together. She uses the stall and I help her out. But then, if I have to go, I am not sure what to do.
Is it ok to have her in the stall with me ? I tried having her wait outside the stall, but she tries to open the door. If lock the door and she started crying because she couldn't open it. What is the right behavior in this case?. I appreciate any input
2006-07-08 06:11:04 · 15 answers · asked by Michelle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
do you have any kids?? not trying to sound mean but shes going to want to come with you in there cause she is scared, thats very normal for a 4 year old. its going to happen, point blank. if your uncomfortable i would make sure to ask her before leaving the house if she has to go potty; us moms know that valuble rule!
the right behavior- would be for your to behave like a mother, even if you arent one.
* please dont think that you can tell a 4 year old you dont feel comfortable, she has no understanding of that. i just wanted to type this after reading some other peoples advice.
2006-07-08 06:18:14 · answer #1 · answered by truthhurts 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
If you are really that uncomfortable with the situation, then you should take her back out of the bathroom to your boyfriend and then go back in on your own. (I'm assuming you don't have her by yourself.) If it is just the two of you, then I would say definitely bring her in! Most parenting groups remind you to NEVER turn your back on a child, even if they are in the seat of the grocery cart in the store. Things can happen in the blink of an eye. Leaving a child on the other side of a door in a washroom while you are occupied leaves them so vulnerable.
As some others have said, discussing this with her father is important. But, at 4 years old, most kids are uncomfortable if they feel alone in an unfamiliar place, and being with someone else in a bathroom is no big deal. They haven't got that social stigma attached to it yet. It's just a normal thing that people do, like eating or sleeping.
2006-07-08 14:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by Amalthea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can stay in the stall with you, she's young enough, and probably too young yet to be out side of the stall waiting. Just have her turn her back and look at the floor, or ceiling or some of the picture'd grafatti on the stall walls ...{well maybe...those might be a little R rated sometimes too..ack}
2006-07-08 13:58:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, if you both go into the stall, no one will really be able to tell whether it's you or the little girl that is actually going to the bathroom. (If some stranger is actually paying -that- close attention, they need to get a life.)
So, don't worry about having the girl in the stall when you have to use the restroom. You may want to start to help her lean to use the public restrooms on her own though soon as she is almost age to go to kindergarten where she will need to attend to herself.
2006-07-08 13:20:25 · answer #4 · answered by randomnight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's safe to keep her outside of the stall just yet. She's a little young for that. She may be curious, but just be discreet. My son would come with me into the restroom until he was 6. You never know who is out there.....
2006-07-08 16:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by a s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is obviously attached to you. It's okay. Somehow you need to tell her that you need to do it alone, but at four this is difficult. Finish with her and take her back out to where your boyfriend is, hand her off to him, and then go back and take care of your business alone.
You are embarrased at using the stall in front of her. She is not embarrassed with you. You must get over your fear so she can enjoy time with you. Children like togetherness. It's natural.
You must ask yourself, what is your fear? It is okay to use the stall in front of her, but if you feel uncomfortable, that is important. Maybe work out why you feel uncomfortable so you can have her with you, and then both of you will feel okay with it. There is nothing quite like both of you feeling okay and comfortable and relaxed.
2006-07-08 13:42:49 · answer #6 · answered by vson_vision 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fine to have them in the stall with you. She's a girl as well, she may be curious. Maybe she wants to know if you go the same way. Or she could just be fightened of being alone. My little sister is that way. She comes in with me. She'll eventually grow out of that by age.
2006-07-08 13:16:04 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole draws in scribbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it'd be okay if she was in the stall with you, She's only four anyways and with the perverted people going around picking up kids these days I'd say that would be the best thing you could do!
2006-07-08 13:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by Åⓝⓞⓝⓨⓜⓞⓤ§ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried explaining to her that you need your privacy in the bathroom before the situation actually comes up? If she tries to turn it around on you because you go in with her, you could just say that it's because she needs help and you don't anymore. If you're ok having her in there with you though, I don't really see the problem. You could just tell you boyfriend the situation and see if he's ok with that.
2006-07-08 13:16:35 · answer #9 · answered by Phil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was her mother I would want you to keep her in their with you..... I mean you can't watch her if she is outside the door and it only takes a second for some sh*t to happen...
I would just have to talk with my man and see how he feels, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with her out of my eyesight in public. Because if something happens on your watch, your going to be the bad guy...
2006-07-08 13:19:27 · answer #10 · answered by Dina W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋