Shoud I go to my stupid cousin's wedding?

Question

Ok here is the story, my cousin is having a weeding soon and I don't want to go because I am very angry at her. She used to be my fav cousin, we used to have fun and joke around but when she turned 15 she started seeing this guy on his 30's from dominican republic, who was probably undocumented and was a plumber without certificate and couldn't read. All my family started to criticize her because we care , she got angry and cut communication with all of us for years. Now she is 21 and she is back with another dominican guy and wants to marry him. Now she is showing her face cause she is looking for money to support her weeding. In every family reunion her parents came except her. When I visited her she didn't come out of her room and didn't said Hi, and now she is looking for us.

The last straw was when my grandpa died in last December. She didn't come to the funeral, that was the ultimate insult for me and my family. That's how much she cared.

Should I care of going to her weeding?

Is not that we are racists, My family is puertorican and we feel that these men are looking for her to marry her and gain her citizenship. If they were more educated and more responsible it would be fine. The new guy is too old for her too.

Plus my cousin is ugly and seems she has low self-esteem because she can't find a man and she may feel that dominicans are the only ones who would be with her.

Answer 1

I will be honest with you, this girl sounds like she does not have very good manners, since she is only speaking to you after wanting (and needing) money for the wedding. Still, she is family, so I think it is important that you go to her wedding and support her. That doesn't mean that you have to like her and you have to keep close contact with her after the marriage takes place, but she is a big girl and she knows what decisions she wants to make in life. She is taking a big step and getting married to someone SHE wants to marry, and I don't think anyone should stop her or tell her that she should wait for someone better because she is doing this out of her own free will. Just because she has bad manners, does not mean you should also have bad manners and not go to her wedding. Why should you bring yourself down to her level? You can be better than that. Good luck.

Answer 2

i do not imagine each and every individual's going to reaction in some "mainstream" way -- exceptionally even as they have not considered a lot opp-sex nudity in any respect of their lives, ya understand? it is compared on your bro-sis the position your initial reaction may be to freak out. as an example you had an effective searching aunt. may you quite see her bare, or your mom? ok, now say you're 14 -- you're going to react better dumbfounded/curious on your aunt than now. purely sayin'. do not sweat it. It does no longer mean a lot. She's curious -- and in spite of the indisputable fact that you're a cousin, it isn't any longer an "ick" ingredient like a sibling except you grew up interior an similar loved ones like a sibling.... so that you'll see some interest about it in perspectives from a youthful viewer. do not sweat it!

Answer 3

Its hard to say. She hasn't been acting like part of the family, so why does she invite you? To try to get passed that or is it truly for the gifts, money, etc. Either way your cousin seems to have made up her mind, and unfortunately it might be a very poor decision. In you heart of hearts do you care about her? You can always go to the wedding for support and just forego any gifts. Good luck.

Answer 4

She could just be wanting to mend fences and become part of your family again. But I doubt it. I tend to agree with you. It sounds like she has the nerve to want to get whatever she can out of you all in the form of wedding gifts. If it were me, I wouldn't let her get away with it. She has shown no respect towards you or your family, especially at the death of your grandpa, so forget her. I can almost guarantee that once you all pitched in and helped pay for her wedding, she would once again become the selfish, bitter woman she has been for the last 6 years. That is, until she gets pregnant and has a baby, then she'll be looking for more gifts. Don't fall for it!

Answer 5

While you may not be - as you put it - "racist", you need to also concede that your cousin's choices in whom she dates are hers, and not yours, to make. I'm a WASP, from a WASP background, and have been listening to the "not good enough for us" crap for pretty much my entire life...my relatives are mighty good at dishing such comments out whenever it suits them to do so. I, on the other hand, have been fortunate enough to have had two parents that believed that we all have the same color blood flowing beneath our skin, and that it's ultimately more important for us to be happy in our lives than to worry about what our "peers" think.

I say compromise: you may decide not to go to your cousin's wedding, but at the very least make an effort to reconnect with her and to get to know the man she intends to marry. It is possible that this man, whatever his educational background and history, is truly intent on making her the center of his life and bringing her happiness and joy. If so, is it truly so bad that he doesn't meet your ideals of an appropriate suitor?

Give them a chance, see if she is sincere in her desire to get back in touch with her family. It's possible that there is more involved here than you've been told, especially since you're not an immediate member of her own family (for example: did the rift come about because her parents gave her an ultimatum? and if so, did she feel that this applied to the extended family as well?).

On the other hand, if your attempt to connect with the two of them meets with hostility and failure, then skip the wedding; you were right all along.

Answer 6

This is her choice, but it isn't right to cut her off from her family either, maybe she feels that way because she feels like a blacksheep of the family, sometimes in life we do what we have to do, be cause we feel that heck our family never there for us nor do they ever back her in anything you know if she has a very low estemie it started with family cutting her down frist making her feel unloved and un wanted. No we all change but still we need our families, to love us and stand by us not always agree with us but always stand with us.

Answer 7

You could go however just be like other normal guests. Dont support or help her financially for preparation of her wedding. If she asked your favour, just turn it down nicely and explain to her so that she knows her 'way' is not acceptable. Dont diss her/support her lifestyle either. She may have reasons for acting cold and being anti-social but by turning down her wedding, make it worst! Dont put yourself the same level as her. Just be normal. Since she has invited you i presume, go ahead (without gifts/presents) , if she doesnt invite you..then stay home.

Answer 8

Yes, you should go anyway. She's still family, and probably wants you there. Plus, you might catch the boquet and be the next girl to marry, as the tradtion says. Maybe she wanted to attend the funeral, but couldn't. Forgive and get along with her.
Other wise you'll pass away, after she does.

Answer 9

You should do as your heart tells you to do. However if you are a christian and read the bible, than you know that the bible says you are to forgive and forget and go on with your life. But given in the case of your cousin, it seems like she has a chip on her shoulder and needs to learn to get along with others if she ever wants to have a family again.

Answer 10

i think u should go but if she acts like toward u then that is another story but then again she is family and even know she is acting like that it dose make it right for u to act the same way toward her maybe she just needs someone to be her friend and stuff but in a way u r right she should act a little better to u but i am talking in circles so i am going to leave u here