What is the difference between three and four children???

Question

My husband and I have 3 children, 6,4,and 2 Lately I have found myself thinking of nothing but having another. I just don't feel complete yet. ( by the way, my hubbie doesn't want another one) Anyone out their have 4 kids? Is it a hard transition (financially, mentally)? I am looking for a few arguing points for my hubbie and I to discuss. Three is a breeze for me now... and I love my kids to death... I just don't feel like our family has reached a full circle yet. Am I being selfish on the matter.. or should I just drop it and hide my true feelings and try to enjoy what I do have?

Answer 1

I totally understand! When I was pregnant with our third, my husband weezled me into a vasectomy. When our first was born, we talked about kids, 3 for sure 4 maybe. Our kids are now 8, 6, and 4 and he's getting a reversal when he gets back from Iraq. I just cannot get over my desire for 1 more. At 4 we are done, but 3 just isn't my number.

When talking to my husband and finally telling him all my feeling on the subject, you know what he said? He wished I'd have told him all that sooner so we could already have had the 4th and been done now. So please don't hide your feelings. I can tell you from experience that you'll just hurt yourself and be angry with him about it. Everytime I see a baby that resembled mine as infants, I just get all ache-y inside. Now, 4 years later, I'm finally getting my family finished. The age gap bothers me some, but never having my youngest bothers me more!

Answer 2

Straight to the point. My sister has 6 children. Ages: 19, 16, 14, 10, 6, 5. She always wanted 12 kids, but finally stopped at 6. It is possible that your husband doesn't think at this point in time the you two can afford another baby. Do you stay at home & watch the kids while your hubby works. (I am asking because daycare prices here are extremely high)! Ask him if he will think about it. He might want another one but he also knows the circumstances of having another child. I don 't think he is out to hurt you by saying that he doesn't want another baby, I think he is thinking about the family he has now & making sure that you & the three kids can have the best in life. I would recommend enjoying the family & the 3 kids that you were blessed with for now. But like I mentioned above, just ask him to think about it.

Answer 3

I have three children too- 2, 4, and 6 as well. I do not want anther child. I do have this to add though, I wanted another child, but my husband did not when we got pregnant with our third child. I love all my children and so does my husband, but he acts differently with three than he did with just two. He doesn't play as much as he used to and he distances more than then. I can't say it is all because we had another child, but if I could go back, I would have stuck with just two. Maybe your husband doesn't want anymore because he is just getting used to the three you have. Maybe he needs to "catch his breath" before having another child. I don't belive you are being selfish, but I also don't believe you should have another child just yet if you both don't agree. Maybe enjoy what you have for just a while longer? I always offer to babysit a young baby when I have the need for another child so it reminds me what it's like and how it would be around the other children with another baby in the house. I would try this before you have another child.

Answer 4

One more mouth to feed, stop being selfish to your husband, a child is a hard thing to provide for. Your husband probley is working hard enough to take care of you and the other kids, don't add another burden to his worries. Think about all the medical bills and after that. Let the other kids grow up first and I'm sure your husband will change his mind.

Answer 5

I think that 4 kids are a blast, i personaly dont have 4 kids but my neighbors do i and i watch them 4 days a week all day, you should keep going with the matter with your husband if you really want it. You children will probably want a baby 2!

Answer 6

Thats like the difference between paying $2000 in mortgage, to $2500 a month. Along with the extra thousands a month them lil critters like to suck up, especially the wife too! 4 kids is also like a small little preschool, that never stops (till the youngest hits 18). Then it becomes like a jungle =P

Answer 7

i have 4 children! do you remember how much more work 3 seemed than two? WELL, that DOES NOT happen when you go from 3 to 4. having my fourth child was the EASIEST transition for our family. in fact, we are going through invitro right now with the hopes of completing our family with a 5th child... or numbers 5 & 6 if both eggs implant properly. i love children and my husband likes me to be happy :) you will know when you feel your family is complete! i love big families and firmly believe that as long as people can afford their children have more. i will warn you, however, that as the children get older (i see how close yours are in age) they will get expensive ALL AT ONCE! college, graduation, senior pictures, class rings, varsity coats, cars, car insurance, sporting fees & equiptment, drivers training, class dues through high school, proms, homecomings, winter balls, year books, band instuments, camps, dance schools... omg, the list goes on and on of all of the extra thingsthat are above and beyond the normal things parents think of when planning their family size. another thing that is complicated when your children are close together in age is sporting events... you want to go to every single one... but you can't when two kids have games at the same time (or 3 kids..or 4...) our oldest son and our second son had their first ball games at the same time this year... one is varsity, one is jv. we chose to do all of the home games to make it more simple, and fair, this year. THEN THE GUILT came flooding in when our oldest broke his jaw that night when a ball hit him in the face and we weren't even there to take him to the hospital... all of the rest of the kids are spaced much farther apart... ages 17, 15, 10, 6 and now it's time for one, or two more:)
remind your husband that "IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NO ONE HAPPY" :) if you tell your husband that you have given a great deal of consideration to having another child i'm sure he will have a change of heart. he's probably just afraid of change... like most people! BEST OF LUCK TO YOU & YOUR FAMILY!

Answer 8

We have 4 kids and I'm glad we do. We had two girls and then two boys. I don't think he is a lot more expense. The only thing is you need a vehicle that holds 6. The smaller cars are out, so that means less gas economy. My youngest is very affectionate and a joy to be around.

Answer 9

People usually freak when I say I have 4 children...Like I said 10 or something. LOL Go for the 4th..Its awesome and its really no big woop adding one more for the family to love. Good Luck:)

Answer 10

hey i think that having one more kid is nt at all a bad idea.bt one thing that is to be foccussed upon is tht if u will have lot many kids then u will not b able to focuss properly on all of them.we give the birth to a child by promising our sef's and having a trust on ourself tht we will take proper care of the child till we die.and give him/her the best things in world .so just think abt it