need help...?

Question

i dont have a very positive self image at all...and i never have. the girl i am trying to get with is an amazing woman. she is smart funny and she is SO beautiful. is there a chance that my negative view of my self is going to be trouble eventually? i mean sometimes i wonder what a girl like her is doing with such an unattractive guy like my self. she has told me that i am attractive but i still dont know

Answer 1

Belive what she says! Obviously, this smart, funny, and beautiful woman has found something about you to like :)

We all doubt ourselves at some point...in fact, maybe even SHE doesn't think she's really beautiful, or smart, or something. It's hard to be objective about your own self image - just accept the fact that you *could* be wrong about yourself.

(Also - if you try to act like you're attractive, even though you're not sure you really are, you might convince everyone else :p )

Answer 2

I think that you need to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you. Because if you don't love yourself, they might end up hurting you in the long run....Sorry, that's just my theory. That always used to happen to me so I'm working on loving myself...even though I'm like you and my self image is pretty negative...I'm trying to work on it so when I do find Mr. Right I feel like I'm the best I can be and I'm proud of myself for what I've done. I may not be as pretty as Britney Spears but I am smart, I care about people, etc. I try to think of good things about myself instead of focusing on the bad.

Answer 3

Yes, your self-esteem issues can damage the relationship. If you keep thinking that you don't deserve her, she might start to believe it, based on how you're acting. You might also wind up getting jealous everytime she talks to another man, because you feel she might be looking for something more than you can provide.

You should look into getting some help or read some self-help books. It's not fair on her that your issues impact the relationship.

Also, be sure to talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel and that you're trying to fix it, so she should be patient with you.

Good luck! I hope it works out for you both!

Answer 4

Friend....your negative self-image WILL cause problems for you in this relationship and future ones!!!
I have this incredibly beautiful woman in my life..........she is gorgeous beyond comprehension,smart,etc....has everything going for her.
I have known her for 5 years,we have dated off and on over those years.
Now honestly I am not the best-looking guy in the world,nor do I care to be.........
I am 6'3" 230 pounds,I shave my head,etc,I am just a normal looking guy!!!
I am fine with who I am,as is she.......
If she has told you that she thinks you are good-looking then believe her...........
You are probably a lot better looking than you think.....but women can tell when you have a low opinion of yourself.........and well-adjusted women will not want to get to know you,even though you are a good guy!
I have learned a few things in my 33 years on this planet about women........
Ask them out,you have nothing to lose......
Treat them as you would like to be treated(Cliche,but true)......
But the one thing that I have learned that is the most important lesson,is make them laugh............
But you need to be happy with yourself and make yourself laugh first................
I really feel your pain my friend...........
If you would like to talk more.....email me..........
Maybe I can help you out a bit.......

Answer 5

don't think like that! You can get any girl. It;s sad to see your self-esteem so deteriorated. You know, you say she's told you that u were unattractive, then why would u want a shallow girl like that? If you are truly falling hard for her, then boost your self confidence. Women find self confidence in guys extremely sexy!

(But don't mistake self confidence for *********. There's a HUGE difference!)

Answer 6

u need to work on ur confidence before u can get with a girl. if u get in a raltionship too fast it could hurt u. what ever they say will want u to change urself. i mean if the person will want u to have green hair u would change ur self for them. eventuly u will find that u change everything about ur self just cause the person might have made one comment then u get scared of losing them. so confidence is the first thing u need before getting in to a relationship.

Answer 7

You shouldn't put yourself down like that! It sounds to me like you think this girl is amazing, and it also sounds like she thinks you are also. You should believe that she thinks you are attractive and yes your low self esteem will get you in trouble. Girls like their guys to have confidence so you must have a better self image.

Answer 8

When your gf tells you that you are attractive, zenroller, don't analyze it. Just go with the flow. Tell her how it makes you feel when she compliments you. If it makes you feel special, tell her, "That makes me feel special. Thank you." If you work at reacting to situations by how it makes you feel, and then express yourself, it will help you to slowly get over your negative image of yourself.

And, BTW, all women are beautiful. And the one you're in love with is especially so. Make sure to tell her that she is beautiful. She will like hearing that, and will thank you. (And her heart will beat a little faster.)

Answer 9

First off, why are you so down on yourself? If your always thinking negative things, of course it will lead to "trouble". Everybody has self worth, they just have to "find" it within themselves. It may sound stupid, but say something positive about yourself everyday. Trust me, you do matter in this world.You control your life, do you want to be happy or sad, your choice.

Answer 10

It's true when they say beauty is skin deep...

What she finds attractive may not be what other women find attractive.....

Keep up that positive self image and stop doubting yourself...
You are fantastic and obviously she realizes that!!!