What's going on in his head?

Question

I recently met a guy in his work situation, who, when I ignore him seems to take that as independence and being unattainable. Is it me or do men think you are desperate just because you are open and friendly, and kind? When I'm friendly he acts like I'm a man-eater and I feel flamin' guilty!! Like I beat him over the head and dragged him in to a cave backwards. Then there are days he is so friendly, because I don't make any effort? Is he testing me - to see if I have self-respect, etc etc or is he just so unsure of himself that he goes from painfully shy to pushing himself so hard to deal with my openness, locking eyes and showing lots of emotion, to acting like I am chasing him around the room. I find his behaviour confusing. Anyone out there who can enlighten me with an mature, intelligent answer as to male psychology? Pls don't bother if you're going to be disrespectful and hurtful - e.g. `What a load of crap'. Thank you.

Answer 1

dang don't you just hate people that just comes in here and flame? look at some of the answers... they aren't even intended to help you. i don't like that. if people are going to waste their time to answer at least try helping and not write some half *** answer. anyway... what i think is that the guy is sort of scared when you act overly friendly. not saying that you are but maybe to him? but when you're not trying he feels maybe guilt because he's afraid you're mad at him since usually you're friendly? so he tries to take the initiative and talk more. when you're friendly then he does the same thing over again. guys probably have mood swings too. maybe it's coincidence how whenever you're nice to him something happened to him earlier so he isn't as talkative. just don't take this person serious if it keeps bein like this. good luck w/ this guy

Answer 2

First and foremost. I respect all ladies. You are a lady who is merely trying to understand this guy. Unfortunately, In this society, some males think females are easy if they are open and friendly and hard to get if they are not. I respect an open friendly woman in the same way i respect a shy one. Regardless of how males think, my advice is to just be yourself and find out over time how he reacts. Time will tell you what you want to know. After all a male can react either way but time will reveal his true feelings, Remember this. A real friend asks to spend time with you and not money. I wish you hope, joy understanding, and peace. Good luck and much wisdom.

Answer 3

He hasn't got the self confidence to handle a self confident, assertive woman, basically because you come across as a confident, strong, capable woman you scare him. When you don't make any effort you seem more likely to follow his lead in everything, he is more comfortable being the one in control.
He doesn't like women on an equal level with him, he wants to feel in control & superior to you, it's how he is comfortable. If you are not happy following his lead in everything or having him be lord and master then this is one relationship that will only make you both miserable & would be bad for you both psychologically

Answer 4

Well, who can work out a guys mind....they border lunacy at the best of times! Anyways, from what you have said, it seems he is definately not interested in you. He is playing/messing around with women and is interested in having fun...hes not prepared to chase around or work hard for this and if its on a plate...i.e. you carry on with this thing he will eventually sleep with you, but nothing more. He will carry on like this until someone really catchess his eye. I would step away and steer clear. This way you keep your dignity and self respect. The guy doesent deserve you. He wants someone more morally corrupt babes.

Answer 5

I some tines act like this with my wife, But i know mine stems from depression. I find it really hard to interact with her at times. Like this morning when i first woke up, I needed to give her a big hug and a kiss because i felt so alone for some reason, but as soon as i was dressed and downstairs i felt i couldn't look her in the eye. Very bizarre, I can't explain it, but they do say you hurt the ones you love the most. Good luck

Answer 6

Sounds like to me the typical male syndrome. They want or need a challenge. If you ignore them then it hurts there ego. And yet when you show any kind of interest they think they are all that. I would casually say hi and then end the conversation for a while and see how he reacts with that.

Answer 7

Hey, I read this three times, and I'm still not sure what do YOU want from him?? Do you know? Ask yorself that, and if you get the answer, let him slightly know that, see the reaction, study it...it's easy! And what is friendly...there's very, very tiny line between being friendly and flerting, especially from men's perspective! After all, you're a woman, so MANIPULATE! :))

Answer 8

I think the boy is very confused. Personaly I think you should not worry too much about this guy unless you like him enough to want to get to know him better. Which I would then suggest you try to talk to him about your concerns and maybe get something started. If he is totaly confused then you will just scare the livin daylights out of him and he will run.

Answer 9

You didn't mention if the guy was dating any one,?
it sounds as if he is and isn't sure if he wants to go all the way and commit him self,
possibly unsure if he gets caught or not.
its very hard to have a relation ship with some one at work.
if it doesn't work, you have to see that person every day,
that's going to be painful for some one.??

Answer 10

He could be testing you although I find that not very becoming. Maybe he's had a bad experience and is just being very careful. It's really hard to tell. Try being patient and see what happens. If you could talk to him maybe you could find out his situation. Good luck.