i need help helping my cousin ... please help me .?

Question

my cousin and i have been really close for along time , almost our whole lifes , and then all of the sudden he changed ... like now , hes gothic lookin , he cuts himself hes talked about suiside a few times, and im pretty sure he drinks , i dont know if hes doin drugs ? and every time i call him he sounds depressed and sad , and we talk for only bout 5 min. and then he has to go , when we used to talk forever on the phone , i dont know whats wrong , im thinkin its his friends ? but i dunno ? I MISS THE OLD HIM , HOW CAN I GET THE OLD HIM BACK ?!?! please help me

Answer 1

He should go to the doctors, I know cliche, right? But it's true, depression sucks, I've had it for years but I haven't done anything about, I don't cut myself but that's because pain hurts, duh! Your cousin obviously needs help, it's not his fault it's something in the brain that does it.
If you want you can contact me at [e-mail]

Answer 2

The best thing would be to visit him... It's well-known that nothing compares to a face-to-face chat. DON'T TELL HIM HE HAS CHANGED !!! Just talk to him like you used to ! And it would be good to go with someone close to both of you (an old friend or someone else in the family -- but of the same age or close, not a grown-up). The point is to make him feel loved and cared-for, because somewhere along the way, he might have forgotten it... Tune as much as possible into the past -- make him remember the way you two were... And don't expect miracles: this change he's gone through may be permanent. You CANNOT force him back, it's impossible... Try to understand why the change... Influence of others, some unfortunate events in his life, a desperate attempt of getting attention or... the real personality emergence. Hope for the best, but expect the worst... I don't know what else to say... Just GOOD LUCK !

Answer 3

Hi Samantha, I just went through the same thing, a friend of mine talked about suicide, he was depressed too. His family is religious and so he did not do any Gothic dress or piercing etc. He instead left a note to his parents saying he was going to a friends house. He never showed there and the parents were worried as were all of his friends in the neighborhood we organized searches. We went to all the local parks and libraries where he might spend his time if he ran away. We could not find him. Later that night according to the time mark on my comp 5:12 am ,he sent me a message that he was at a new friends house and that he was worried about his Mom freaking out and I should tell her he is OK . I printed the message he sent and gave it to his Dad. later I found his blog site and read what he wrote. He said that he thought he might be gay and he thought his sister told his parents when she found his blog, he did not know how to face them when they found out so he left. He is at home now and his parents are reading the Bible with him concerning his "problem" I am not saying this is your cousin's case just saying there was a real reason for my friend's depression and there is in your cousin's too. Perhaps with you and his parents talking to him, you might be able to get him to get help now. Let him know how you feel and how you miss the old him and that you are willing to help in case he needs to talk about his feelings.

Answer 4

It's a double edged sword. If you do the right thing and talk to his parents and get him help you will soon have the old him back but the new old him will probably be mad for a while and ignore you. That's cool though, better mad than dead.

I begged my aunt and uncle to get my cousin help when my cousin changed. They ignored it and she ate the back of an eighteen wheeler when her and her friend got in a car after drinking at a club and drove. No more cousin for me. Oh well, not much I can do about it.

Answer 5

Sweetie, you need to talk to an adult you trust about this. About all you can do is to be there for him, and to be patient until he is ready to be close again. Just let him know that when he is ready, you will be there.

As far as him hurting himself, he needs help....BIG TIME. You can't worry about whether or not he is going to get angry with you about this.....but, you have to talk to his parents. If that doesn't work, go to the school counselor. He has to have some help.
Something isn't right in his life, somewhere. Or, he wouldn't be cutting himself. Don't give up until you make an adult hear you, and help him.

And it never hurts to pray and ask God to help, either.

Take care, and be strong.

Answer 6

Can I ask you a question, what the hell are you thinking. Why are you asking anyone here what to do. If any one is cutting, or thinking about susicew, he needs help and you haven't done a thing, I am glad your not in my family. You need to get him mental help, and you need mental help for not taking care of this earlier. Maybe you would miss him when he is dead. they only way to get him back is to act now.

Answer 7

mayb it's the family
or he's following the trends thatz going on with his friends?
but if it's a serious emotional issue
you should def be there and let him know that he can trust you and he can talk to you
cuz pile shiit up inside and not be able to tell nobody... that's the worst feeling.

Answer 8

He actually was going out with a friend maybe who is you know as you said, goth or bad guys. Maybe your cuz's friends was bad and he was influenced. Talk to him and remind him all of the happiest moments of your life together. Get albums with oictures of you and his and let him look at it.

Answer 9

I guess i'm not worried about the "gothic look" itself, teens change their looks all the time. But he's cutting and talking about suicide. You need to tell an adult that can help him, he needs professional help. No one can help you online, and you cannot help him yourself.

Answer 10

talk to his parents. if he keeps talking about suicide and cutting himself he might actually pull it off. Either talk to him or his family or both about what's going on, and do it soon or you might be without a cousin