well my bf of 4 years recently went away, 3 years agoa when her went away on one of these trips he cheated on me. When this time rumors came back that he slept with this girl. he reassured me that nothing happened. Well I also found out that she gave him a back rub and hugged him. Now I saw this message that was sent to him ans said I don't want to get in the way of you and your girl, but I feel like we really connected on the trip. "I love talking to you sooo much, you're like an old best friend, you just get, alright babe I'll talk to you soon," Now he has been telling that nothing is happening but she sent him 3 other messages that he deleted before I saw because he didn't want to worry me and he has been talking to her on AIM. to make things worst she broke up with her bf when they got back from the trip... am I wrong for getting upset and crying over this?
2006-07-07 20:45:46 · 29 answers · asked by Ashlee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he did tell me when I confronted him that he would completly stop talking to her if it was bothering me, bc he loves me
2006-07-07 20:51:54 · update #1
There is really no point in getting upset over someone else pursuing your BF. A back rub and hug mean nothing in itself. It can happen at any time. It all depends on the security of your own relationship. Jealousy is insecurity. You either trust him or you don't. If you trust him, then stop worrying. If you don't, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. Don't stop trusting someone based on rumors or what anyone else tells you. They may be wanting to split you up. Wait until you have first hand proof...and more than just a hug.
2006-07-07 20:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is a very tough situation...It sounds like your bf loves you but I know that I would be the same way in that situation..trust is of course very important..and once the trust is gone it is very hard to get back if you can get it back at all...try asking him not to talk to her anymore..explain to him that if the tables were turned would he like you doing that...that usually at least usually makes them look at things from another point of view...4 years is a long time and it is hard to end something after that long..I have been in a relationship for 10years and communication is important so try talking to him without accusing or crying..just tell him how it feels...good luck hun...
2006-07-08 21:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by hahaha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you aren't wrong to be uspet and no, you aren't being too jealous. your boyfriend is YOUR boyfriend. looks like he's doing boyfriend things for another girl WHO is recently single and probably very needy for male attention.
i'm sure alot of people will say "once a cheater always a cheater" -- and they're right!
he's done bad before and you were very forgiving ... he doesn't understand why you forgave him obviously -- because you really value him as a boyfriend, you see more in him then he really has.
i feel for your predicament. i've had a cheating partner before and it's like a huge, stressful spy on him guessing game. when it gets to that point, there is nothing left but pain. you can't trust him, and trust is the foundation for love.
please consider leaving him. you should be with a man who will do special love things for you only, and not for any girl with a sexy body part or nice jeans.
stay tough!
2006-07-08 03:53:33 · answer #3 · answered by tami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not. its not wrong to let your emotions out. besides it is quite suspicious of your bf behavior. moreover, it is likely for guys to be attracted to other girls. attraction is not bad as long as it won't lead to a serious one. if you really trust the guy and i think you guys should talk like clear things up. if he still denies everything, then better quit. i mean what is the point of continuing a relationship that will only lead to nowhere? besides you are not lying to yourself when you saw the text meassages from that girl. and you know what i think.. the guy is just assuring you because he don't want to lose you and of course the girl. but what if he and the girl get along.. then what will happen to you?
i wish you all the luck! :)
2006-07-08 03:58:50 · answer #4 · answered by Elisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being too jealous, but maybe too emotional. Guys can't handle emotion and that is there weapon they use against us in arguments. Focus on the cold, concrete facts confront him with this and tell him if He CARES for you, he would not be talking to this chic. By the way find out her info and have a chat with her about maybe finding someone who is available.
2006-07-08 03:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by moniiluv17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heck no. if nothing's happened already, something is sure about to because that girl wants your man and he isn't exactly disgusted by her, either. I say tell him off, get out of that relationship, and get on with your life. I know it's hard but you can't be in a relationship where he's always making you check up on him like this.
2006-07-08 03:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, female intuition is almost ALWAYS right on! From the sound of it something did happen and I would not trust your boyfriend on this one...especially if he has cheated before. I know it's tough and denial often seems better, but she wouldn't be leaving him a comment like that unless something happened. Good luck!
2006-07-08 03:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by jezkap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, he broke your heart once. and he may not have physically cheated on you...but emotional cheating is worse. It means it wasn't just meaningless sex, he connected w/ someone...this is when you should worry if he'll leave you for her.
its hard for a guy to be emotionally open w/ just anyone, and if you two have a fight, who's he gonna go to? no good. not good at all for you.
do you want to live your life on a tight rope?
take action, make decisions and carry them through.
your a smart woman and you dont deserve this.
2006-07-08 03:51:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he cheated once it is a good chance he is going to cheat again. I don't think you are wrong to be suspicious of what is going on between him and this other woman. However, I do wonder why on earth you would even stay with someone to begin with who didn't respect you enough to be with you and only you. I would tell him to piss up a rope and go my merry way.
2006-07-08 03:51:25 · answer #9 · answered by Heidi Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has not really done anythign wrong, did you think he would not see or talk to girls while he was away?
There was nothing in that message that indicated he has done anything more tahn talked, and he is deleting them to stop you worrying!
Stop worrying about what might happen and wait to see if it does!
2006-07-08 03:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by sam_keane_uk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋