2006-07-07 19:22:14 · 17 answers · asked by boxergirl 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
What 1 word can clear a room filled with people the fastest?
FIRE!
2006-07-17 11:13:22 · answer #1 · answered by dishwasher67 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
POLISH DIVORCE
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange
a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds? -Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? - It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like? -All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage? - We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up? -No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a ******? -No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce? -She going to kill me.
What makes you think that? -I got proof.
What kind of proof? -She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover".
2006-07-20 04:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by vas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont kno but u should really hear that "bust a nut" song on the first answer. i jus clicked on it and it was funny!
2006-07-08 02:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by ♥~qkazoo89~♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay here we go,,,,,,,,
1. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
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2. What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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3. What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
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4. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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6. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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7. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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8. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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9. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
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Now some different answers
10. What is height of Secrecy?
Not attending your own marriage
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11. What is height of Activelaziness?
hiring somebody for your own morning walk !!!!
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12. What is height of Laziness?
adopting another child !!!!
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13. What is height of Craziness?
Trying to do blowwjob to a enuch
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14. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Going out from own house in the morning and getting back to neighbour's house.
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15. What is height of Stupidity?
Going to swim without underwear
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2006-07-08 02:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Tanya S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What made the stop light turn red??
You'd turn red too if you chanded in the middle of the street.
:P
hee hee hee!
2006-07-20 17:59:52 · answer #5 · answered by Surf n' Snow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell someone to listen to this actual ad for corn nuts
http://www.monzy.com/intro/bustanut.mp3
I swear it's the funniest thing on the Earth..
2006-07-08 02:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by imagermandood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Father has 3 daughters and they question him about their names.
1st daughter: dad why did you name me Rose?
Dad: when you were born a rose petal fell on your head
2nd daugher: dad why did you name me Lily?
Dad: because when you were born a lily petal fell on your head
3rd daughter: DUR DURRR DURR!!!!
Dad: SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK.
2006-07-08 19:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by me o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A crying boy comes up to his mother..
Mother:Why are you crying?
Boy:My friends said that my nose is big!
(sniff..sniff..sniff)
The mother didnt answer...
Boy: Mom?! Mom?! Where are you?!
2006-07-08 08:28:27 · answer #8 · answered by cHrYsSiE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dick Cheney
2006-07-17 02:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Thomas C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburned zebra
2006-07-18 12:10:23 · answer #10 · answered by freakonaleash27020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋