Iam 18yrs and iam still a virgin.I find it difficult to have sex because i feel its painfull
2006-07-07 19:01:40 · 12 answers · asked by adaora r 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
it really depends on how each person thinks of it...some may say for you to have/get experience (responsibly) so you know what makes you feel good and what doesn't etc...and some may say for you to keep it until you find that certain someone...but all and all, it comes down to you, if you say it's painful then wait until you feel it's natural, (meaning if you're with someone and all you're thinking about is how good you feel with this person...then whatever happens happens)...age really has nothing to do with it...my best-friend was like one of the most popular and beautiful girls in her school (everyone loves her) and she didn't lose her virginity until she was 23...she said she was proud of it, it was her choice, and she's happy with the person she lost it with (although they're not together now) but she's still happy with her choices...but anyhow, it's all up to you, when you want it, how you want it, with whom etc...let nature lead you :) but don't forget about safety...the truth of it is STDs still roam around, worse yet HIV/AIDS...and lastly pregnancy (unless you want a child) is under your responsibilities...so just enjoy life, be a responsible citizen, stand for what you believe in and BE HAPPY!!!
2006-07-07 19:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by Tiny Bing 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure how you "feel its painful" unless you tried it! Maybe you tried to have intercourse and made him stop because it was painful? In that case, I would say that you aren't still a virgin. The pain was your hymen getting stretched or rupturing. If you want a quick and simple fix for that, an OBGYN can apply a local anesthetic and dilate it for you. Then sex with a gentle and patient partner would not be painful. Of course, you might be in love with a clueless fellow who's idea of foreplay is to take off his boots! If that is the case, then you both have some learning to do. Find out how your body works by yourself, and then you can teach him. If it doesn't feel terrific, then you're not doing it right!
If it is just the whole idea of sex that is painful, then maybe you need to talk this out with a therapist.
Either way, do you really want to just postpone this to your wedding night? If you have a problem (other than just mild fear), better to get it fixed now. You shouldn't have it ruin your first time with your husband.
2006-07-07 19:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by pondering_it_all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue is very subjective and personal. I was never raised being told that I should wait for marriage, but definitely for love. Even if you don't marry the first person you fall in love with, once you reach a point of trust and really feel love for one another (not just lust) then I think it is okay to have sex if you are ready, even if you are not ready for marriage. I think it beats getting married early just to have sex, because you may be ready to have sex before you are ready to enter into the serious commitment of marriage.
I'd definitely wait a good 3 months, at least, of knowing your partner and his/her background and family, before having sex. Also, ALWAYS use a condom, even if you trust the person you are with, even they might not know that they are carrying something that can be harmful to you. When you are married and ready to have children (and you have both had your health tested) you can take the condom off.
2006-07-07 19:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't a virgin when I got married, in fact I was a few months pregnant with my son, but I hadn't had sex with anyone other than the man I married and our son was planned, also we weren't getting married because I was pregnant.
We were engaged before we had sex for the first time and I am glad that I hadn't been with anyone else before him, he had been with one other woman so we were cautious and waited and he was tested for everything before we started having sex and both tested afterwards for everything incase something was dormant or missed the first time.
I think that it is good to wait, it sure would cut down on the amount of unplanned, unwanted and unwed pregnancies that happen, not to mention the amount of sexual diseases that are going around.
2006-07-07 19:13:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon your mind settings.The pain you are talking about is due to the rapture of the membren inside the vagina. For the first time, it's painful. But later on you'll find it really pleasing and refeshing(belive me!). If you want to keep yourself a virgin till your marriage, no harm in it,but having some experience of the highest pleasure of the world is not bad either!
2006-07-07 19:22:08 · answer #5 · answered by Sahitya P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 18 and a virgin too. There's no shame in it. you just need to wait till you feel ready for it. If that's not till marriage, ok. If it's sooner than that, that's ok too. Don't let anyone pressure you into making that decision. It's for you to decide. Let it be special and just the way you want it. You only lose it once...
2006-07-07 19:07:21 · answer #6 · answered by ballerina_dancer017 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's best if you let whatever happen happen. If staying virgin until marriage has something to do with your morals, you should stand behind it 100%. But if not, you should just go with the flow. When the time comes when you find that right person and you feel comfortable with losing it... then let it happen.
2006-07-07 19:10:05 · answer #7 · answered by Hotaru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's good to stay a virgin until marriage. You will be with the one you love and it will be special, you won't have regrets, and you won't have to worry about pregnancy/std's.
2006-07-07 19:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Fun But Good
2006-07-07 19:06:03 · answer #9 · answered by dogsx11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think no. You have to try it before buy it same with sex how can you marrie a man with out knowing his sexual capabilities.
2006-07-07 19:05:36 · answer #10 · answered by Detective Emil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋