I even left a tooth, gosh darn it.
I prayed for a pony. I want my pony!!!!
2006-07-07 18:01:48 · 20 answers · asked by OldManOnTheMountain 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
did you sacrifice a GIJoe?
there ALWAYS must be a sacrifice
2006-07-07 18:05:39 · answer #1 · answered by R J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is for getting people to love you, for losing weight, and for wishing diseases of the scalp upon others. The only pets he does are birds, fish and certain hairless members of the rodent family. If you want a pony, you have to pray to Baal, and he charges a lot more than a tooth.
2006-07-10 02:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by bubbacornflakes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad really. Noone ever put out a general bulletin or even tried to spread the word. I hate to be the one to tell you. The flying spaghetti monster has retired. After a visit to the doctors office in 2005, FSM was informed that he had lost too many meatballs in high speed flight. Because he was always flying around granting wishes, noone could ever catch up with him long enough to return his meatballs to him. and eventually the poor peasents who came across them couldn't wait any longer and ate them. Mr. Monster can be quoted as saying "They wished for food, and I gave it to them. Whether I meant to or not. So I guess I was just doing my job?". With only three meatballs remaining, the flying spaghetti monster lost his power to grant wishes. He could still fly (that was always about the noodles), and he was still the most aromatic monster on the planet (his marinara sauce was created in dr./momma vittalini's labratory/kitchen), but the wish granting was gone. After he retired he traveled the world and was eventually tracked down by the S.F.T.P.O.W.G.M. (society for the preservation of wish granting monsters), and offered new, more powerful meatballs. But much to their dismay, Mr. Monster wouldn't come near them. He had developed a fear of humans after his noodles were mauled while visiting the italian countryside. He decided to move to the artic, which was a bad idea, because the marinara sauce froze and he was paralyzed. His frozen form is now worshiped by a little known artic tribe, and he is the key competitor of the jehova's witness missionaries in the area. They are trying to devise a way to defrost him and send him on his way so that they can ruin chrstmas for these kind artic people. Once this happens, the flying spaghetti monster may fly again. Maybe even grant wishes. Until then, i hear the great zucchini shaped whale is still granting wishes, if you can get to the east coast before summer is over.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-07 18:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by Brento! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the Flying Spaghetti Monster requires you to BELIEVE!! BELIEVE!! BELIEVE!! you must have much stronger faith, also Because the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Italian, you should point to the direction of Rome when praying, and helps to pray in Italian...May the Flying Spaghetti Monster be with you always...
and as it says in the good book...
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster will not withold your requests, but you must believe, look to Rome when you pray and pray in Italian, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster will provide all things"
Book of Spaghetti 3:22-26
2006-07-07 18:57:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the Flying Spaghetti Monster only answers prayers when you leave an eyeball.
2006-07-07 18:04:27 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cause the Flapjack Witch whooped the Spaghetti Monsters A**
and can't bring you s**t cause He's in a Monster Hospital and I herd you woudn't even eat a whole pony so why even pray for one?....... ASK THE WITCH FOR A CATOBLEPUS
2006-07-07 18:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by DJ SANDMAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because Flying Spaghetti Monster feels that you haven't earned you pony yet...
2006-07-07 18:04:56 · answer #7 · answered by Defiant_Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would imagin you must have offended the flying spaghetti monster. Don't expect your pony anytime soon. You must make a batch of spaghetti and place it on your window-sill before you go to bed,If it's gone when you wake up' your in luck, only then will you recompence for your error...Good luck...
2006-07-07 18:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by digitalD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, wait for the beer fountain and stripper factory - if those don't suffice, His Noodly Appendage is a benevolent God, and you might be able to trade in your stripper for a pony after a year.
Because remember, His Noodlyness is all about being a nice God, not an angry, mean, conditional one.
RAmen.
2006-07-07 18:08:25 · answer #9 · answered by rt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must first sacrifice a meatball & a loaf of garlic bread in his honor! Then and only then will you get you darn pony.
2006-07-07 18:05:28 · answer #10 · answered by geni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the flying spaghetti monster wants you to take all the money you have and send it to.....
2006-07-07 18:13:17 · answer #11 · answered by das_ubermann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋