my mom put me up for adoption when i was born... i have parents now that adopted me... but my mom want me back

Question

i have a really nice family now!!!
but i lllloooovvvveeee my mom to death!!!
ive been seeing my mom for 4 hours on the weekends for my life since i was 3!!! shes a really cool mom but i love my foster mom and dad!!!
in my adoption papers it says that it was an open adoption...meaning if my mom want me back all she has to do is go to court sign some papers and pick me up...but it also states that i have a choice to stay with my adoptive parents or go with my biological mother(my real mom)... my mom went to court last tuesday and signed the papers... i dont know if i should go with her and move to kentucky with her away from all of my friends and graduate with a different class...
or should i stay in new york and stay at my school and graduate with my friends???
i dont know what to do i lllooovvveee my new family and my mom...

okay ppl u keep puting stuff like stay with the person who raised u my mom raised me more than my new parents ive only lived with them for 3yrs
ive lived in a foster home the rest of the time

Answer 1

This situation is tough. If I were you I would stay with your friends and graduate from the school. After graduation make the decision if you want to live with your mom.

Answer 2

This is a good one. I think what I would do if I were you would be stay where you are at now, with the adoptive parents, you know how they really are all the time. You don't know how your other mom really is except when you are spending time with her and that is only for 4 hours on the weekends. Now another thing is, you have friends where you are right now and if you move, you will make new friends yes, but the ones that are there now, you might not get to see them again if you do move. And as for as school goes, any time a child moves from one school to another, it does make it harder on them as not all schools are on the same pace, meaning one school my be way ahead of the next school. Some times it is hard for that student to get caught up for awhile. And I also think I would rather graduate with my friends.
Should you decided to stay where you are now, you could always stay in touch with her by writing to her and calling her on the phone, and since you have a computer right there in front of you and she has one, you can keep in touch that way. And then when you are out of school where you are at now, you can then go live her at that time.

Answer 3

Sweetie,

SLOW DOWN.... I think it is important of stay and finish school. You MOM isn`t going anywhere. If you are suppose to be with her, You will be.. You do NOT have to DECIDE anything right now.. You have a long time to have a relationship with your Biological Mother.

But I must remind you that your adoptive parents loved you more than anyone else. They chose you special. They love you. They have given their lives over to you care and happiness. I do not hear any mention of that. THEY are your parents..

ANYONE CAN ME A MOTHER. IT TAKES SOMEONE SPECIAL TO BE A MOM... Your adoptive Mom is the special one here.

You only spent 4 hours out of every 168 hours a week with her.

Those other 164 hours you spent with your parents. Please think about this and go slow. Real Slow...

What will you do IF she decided to put you back up for adoption? She did it once already..... I think you should live the life that GOD gave you and the special gift of your parents and continue to spend time and get to know your biological Mom. But stay with the people who was there when you was sick, the people who was there when your heart was broken, the people who was there whenever you needed them.

It is good to be with your Mom, BUT YOU ARE GIVING UP YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND FAMILY.. I think she is asking way too much...

God bless & Hugs from Texas. {:-)
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Answer 4

What is the reason that your mom put you for adoption?

Now you have a great family, you don't want to lose everything and start from the foundation. You only see your mother for 4 hours on weekends, you don't know who she really is. If your foster parents have child/children, they might not treat you as good as others.

Yes, she is your biological mother, but she makes the mistake to leave you when you are born. If she really loves you, she would sacrifice everything to make you happy, but she went in the wrong direction. Now you have grown up and are very well educated, she wants you back. It is just like she throws you away, and when you become rich and famous, she wants you back.

If you can forgive her, everyone deserve a chance, I don't know what to do. Was never involve in any of this kind of situation.

Answer 5

Wow....this is a tough one! Have you talked to your foster parents and asked them what they thought? Maybe a little insight into what they think about the whole situation could help you make up your mind. You don't say how old you are, but why not just stay where you're at and continue to see your biological mom the way you were. This way, you wouldn't have to leave all your friends. Explain that to your biological mom. I sure hope she would understand. She might even see your point of view and let you be!! After all, she gave you up to begin with. If she has any common sense, and truly cares for you, she will see exactly where your coming from! Whatever you decide.....best of luck to ya!

Answer 6

What a tough spot to be in. First of all it is okay to love all your parents biological or not. Parenting isn't just about giving birth to a child is about loving, supporting, and caring for the child to. I am not saying your bio mom is a bad parent but she gave you up once for whatever reason it does not matter. If you are really happy with the way things are don't change them. Keep visiting and let everyone know that you love them. Talk to all your parents. Express your concerns and fears. Just food for thought....your bio mom may be cool on visits as your friend but how great will it be if things start to really clash because you have not ever lived together. It will be like getting a new room mate. It could get really rough. If your bio mom really loves you and so does your new family, they will all support you in your decision. God bless you. Good Luck

Answer 7

That's a tough one but it shouldn't be to hard for you to talk to both actually to all three of your parents together express what you feel and what you want. If you want to stay and finish graduating first then let them know I'm sure they can come to an agreement and let you stay and once you finished school you can move to Kentucky and live with your biological mom you can always go back to new york and visit your foster parents during your vacations holidays or just because you want to visit them and you can always take your biological mom with you and who knows have a cook out together. Talk to your parents they love you and I'm sure they will work things out

Answer 8

No boy! tell me what is your age? If you are beyond 18 no problem. Nobody can harm you. If the adoption papers are done in a legal way, she cannot touch your hair. don't worry.
It is not correct to go back to your original Mom now.
It is not a justification.
She cannot take you back, whatever may be reason.
For all purposes, she is not your mother and she is dead in your case.
When she could not take care of her when you are baby and she gave you away to somebody, she is unfit to be called a mother.
Continue to love your foster Parents and their people with still more love.
When it comes to choice. Nobody can do anything. It is your choice and pl. remain with your adopted parents, because they are your real parents. Just ignore your biological mother. We find such selfish people on this earth. Ignore that selfish woman. don't call her your mother any more.

Answer 9

As someone who lives with adopted children I know an open adoption does not allow biological parents to regain custody of the children they have given up. The only way she could regain custody would be if the adoption was nullified by the courts. Yes,she would have to go to court to try to sue for custody for you and more than likely she would lose as a person who gives up their child for custody has to relinquish any and all rights to the child. Technically she is not your mother the woman who raised you cared for you is your mother. An open adoption only means that she can see you as you grow up. If she told you all she has to do is sign paper then you weren't legally adopted. Either way the parents who raised you would have had to go to court also.

Answer 10

Hmmm....That's a tough one. I personally know what you are going through b/c I am adopted from China but there is no real way for my mom or dad to find me b/c they don't have records and I was abanded. I love my parents now(the ones who adopted me)So its really really hard to tell you what you should do. Maybe if you want to go back with your biological mother than you should maybe first graduate w/your class and then go with her. But its really your choice. All I can say is follow your heart its really a tought choice. I hope I helped but maybe also write out the pros and cons of each decision. Maybe it will help you with your desicion.Good Luck!

Answer 11

No, I my advice is to stay with your foster family. They have been a stable rock for you. Your mom maybe really cool, but she's not stable enough to really raise you, and chances are if she tries to put her foot down on issues with you, you will most likely not take her seriously or want to run back to your foster family, (which you will not be able to do) I say, keep in touch with mom, but let you foster family be your rock of stability. I know moving out seems very alluri, but it would only serve you to learn how to quit one thing and start another without finishing the first.