Why is my daughter doing this?

Question

I spank my daughter and when we go out she tells people "My mommy hits me" She went up to my neighbor today and told her this and I was like "Hey, do u think people are going to save you? Is that why you are telling people that I hit you?" I was furious. Why is my child doing this to me? I'm afraid she might tell the wrong person and I could get in big trouble for spanking her, but my whole life all I've known is spankings and If I dont spank her she will grow up with no fear or respect for me, what do I do.

Some of you M.f'rs know what youre talking about but the rest of u who dont have kids dont know what the hell youre saying, if u dont have any kids then keep your opinons to yourself about what to do with mine,I just want to know how to deal with a kid whose goin in the street tellin whats goin on in my damn house!

Not all of u are M.F'rs, just the ones who dont have kids and are telling me not to spank my kid, but some of u know what ur talkin about

Answer 1

Kids say the darnest things...lol......gotta love 'em.

Well, somewhere she has picked up on the fact she should tell someone if something happens to her...Its on tv every day about abuse...
She is young so she is not about the difference.

Next time she says that, say.."yea, baby and if you do not obey Momma I will have to do it again."
Then sit her down and explain about how her puppy would get hurt if it heads for the road and does not obey her...

We just have to be creative and I do understand the "telling the wrong person."

You are a good Momma and you are so right about the respect.
I come from the old school that they will NOT respect a Living God either unless they realize there are consequences to pay.

Answer 2

She's probably doing it because of the big disagreements between spankers and nonspankers. She may have heard another person say something is wrong with spanking. You have to tell her you do it because you love her.

Thiscoolguy, you want to get into that? Hell, I graduated with a 4.0. I was spanked as a child....hmmmm

AND to the idiots saying spanking makes a child fear their parents: Where do you get your information? I never feared my parents. I could tell them anything growing up. I moved out at 17. Moved in with my boyfriend at the time so I could graduate from the school I chose. When I got pregnant, I NEVER feared what my parents would say. I had no reason to. Sorry, but I get really heated about this. It's none of these people's business. When their children grow up and end up in jail, they'll be complaining that they didn't spank their kids.

Answer 3

How about this: DON'T SPANK HER. Just because you were spanked it doesn't mean it's your only parenting option. Your daughter will respect you more in the long run when she realizes how easy it could have been for you to use physical intimidation on her, but chose a more compassionate discipline technique. Secondly, why on earth do you want your child to fear you? Don't you want to be the one she trusts to tell important things to? Fearing you is only going to make her HATE you once she reaches adolescence. (I'm truly hoping you're not giving a teenager spankings.) That loathing will translate into rebellion and soon she'll be doing everything you only had nightmares about.

I would buy several parenting books and read up on child psychology. Maybe if you understand your child's thought process discipline won't be such a difficult undertaking and she'll more readily accept her punishments.

Answer 4

Your child is telling people that you hit her because you hit her. Technically spanking is hitting. So if she tells people that then you clarify and say I spank her. If they still have a problem with it, there's not too much you can do about that but so long as you aren't leaving marks there's not too much they can do about you spanking her. So cover your butt when your hitting hers and don't get too carried away or you'll be in trouble. Also she is more likely to go around saying those things if she knows it scares you so if you want her to stop act like its no big deal. Laugh it off and say yeah and I'll spank you if you do it again too, right in front of them. She'll see she's not impressing anybody and drop it after a while.

Answer 5

I agree with u about the spanking. In Australia the laws have changed and spanking can be considered a form of abuse. This is ridiculas, as when i was a kid, mum gave me a good smack, and i never did the same thing again, as i knew what would happen, and to this day i totally respect my mother. I don't smack my daughter alot, only if she has really "pushed my buttons". My daughter stop's misbehaving when i tell her (most of the time) as my tone of voice, and my facial expression is usually enough to scare her. she knows who's boss. Although her father is a different story, daddy's girl does no wrong lol! As u said, u want your child to have respect for you, and i believe she will. As for her telling everyone you hit her, you could try explaining to her why u spanked her, and that u don't care if she tells everyone, cos u know u don't physically abuse her. If for instance she say's it to someone that feels concerned, then u need to explain to the person that she exaggerates, and you are doing the best u can to control her behaviour. Don't forgett alot of people won't agree with your form of punishment, but she is your child, and u have your on discipline methods.

Answer 6

There are other methods of disciplining your child. Yes you can get yourself in hot water by spanking your child to much because the wrong person who hears you are doing this might call the authorities on you and over caring social worker might come to your door asking questions about how you raise your child. One man here in Canada had that happen when someone reported him to the authorities while he spanked his kid in public. I would suggest in all honesty take some child rearing courses as soon as possible. There are other methods beside spanking that do work like time out which you will learn how to do in parenting classes or get a book written by one of those famous English Nannies that come to American household and try to reshape how these parents tend to deal with everyday life in their household before these families become number one dysfunctional family in the country.

Answer 7

well just sit her down and tell her why she's getting a spanking she probably dont understand why but, what ever u do dont ask her "do u think someone is going to save you?" You might make her think she needs to be saved thats going to make her more scared and she'll start asking ppl randomly to save her and then theyll ask why and u know what her answer will be... u dont have to spank her 24/7 but u can slap her on the hand, it depends on what she does, i come from where u come from the spankings and those time outs dont work what i find that does is taking everything away from them, and i mean everything i had to room so clean once when i was raising my little cousin, he just sat there because there was nothing to get into, and ill do the same with my new son when he gets to that age, if he's messing with something he shouldnt be, ill take it away no matter how much he cries hell find himself sitting down with nothing to grab but just talk to her she should grow out of it

Answer 8

Talk to her about why u spanked her about what she did wrong and if she doesn't do it she won't get spanked. Also tell her some more examples of things she shouldn't do that would get her into trouble, so she can figure out what to do and what not to do. Also explain to her why she can't go tell people that. She is still young and it will take some time but she will learn.

Answer 9

If this child is under 5, it will be hard to reason with them. I hope you're not spanking a child under three b/c all you're doing is teaching them to hit. As for her telling other people that you hit her. I'd refrain from hitting her in public. I find the threat of what's to come at home works very well. As long as you don't physically injure her (ie bruises, broken bones) you shouldn't worry about getting in legal trouble. Spanking is not illegal. Over the top physical harm is however. Good luck!

Answer 10

All children hate being spanked by thier mom's. She probably doesn't understand the true reason your spanking her. Tell her and she will understand. When i was i kid i didn't like spanking and always told people my mom spanks me, so they can make my mom stop. But that didn't work. Than my mom told me she spanks me so i grow up with no fear, and i respected her and didn't whine when she spanked me. Tell her how you as an adult how you feel. And share your feeling with each other. Tell her you do it because you love her. It may work out.

Answer 11

You need to explain to you kid why you are spanking her and what will happen to you if she tells the wrong person. Explain to her the difference between spanking and hitting. She sounds like a little brat, and she isn't showing much respect for you as of now. Be stern with her in your words.