How can I stop thinking that almost all mans means bad/wrong and just whants to take advantage of womans?

Question

I have a hard time giving a guy a chance to talk with me,unless is a serious,respectful,well dressed and groomed human - been that proofs to me they can be /have'follow a good adult and respectful conversacion and are not so emotional and kind of selfish ...

Answer 1

Don't stop thinking that! You are correct most of the time!

Answer 2

How can I stop thinking - is exactly the question, my dear. It is your perception, your thoughts that make this a problem for you. So every time you hear yourself say that negative thing, you need to stop yourself and say that is not right and say the opposite. You think "All men are bad" - you stop and say "That is not true - not all men are bad. There are lots of good men out there" - even if you just say it in your mind. You must consciously break the habit of negative thinking and negative expectations.

Another thing you can do is visualize. Sit quietly (or as you lay down to sleep) get a clear picture in your mind of the kind of interaction you want to have with men. Imagine yourself comfortable and at ease. Confident, happy and in control of what happens to you. Imagine him respectful - even with the kind of looks you like in a man.

There are good men in the world - and there is good in most every person. We very often get what we expect in this world - expect a positive, enriching experience in your relationships and you will very often get it.

Peace!

Answer 3

don't stop thinking it, because if most men are like me, and all my male friends are, then they are checking out the girls and thinking how beautiful they are. To be honest here , for me personally, the fantasy is almost as good or better than sex, but I'm getting old now and don't get love much and I am not "good looking" or rich or funny so hence the fantasy.

I would stick with your criteria for your selection of a candidate however. its a good start. but they may be dull. One thing I have found for sure as I get older. don't judge a book by its cover

Answer 4

I understand how you feel about this specially in this days is really hard to find someone to trust to bud give your self a chance to know people and don't judge the whole world for one bad experience...there is always nice respectful guys.

Answer 5

Most women don't want to admit this, but they are sexually turned on by men that treat them poorly as if they were a bunch of garbage. If a woman thinks a man is a nice guy, that is translation to "go away you wimp".
Women like yourself were more turned on by men that treated you badly. When you got burned, you became gun shy even though you were turned on by their gun play before. Either resolve yourself to a man that is safe but dull, or fun and dangerous. If you get burned, change who you go out with.

Answer 6

I definitely understand your conundrum. However, I wouldn't try to ease up on your requirements so easily. Be patient. Don't trust anyone unless you know them. I'm all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, but in this case, better safe than sorry.

Answer 7

I have been through the same thing. You just have to let the barriers down and learn to trust. I did and am now married to the most wonderful man. You have to put some trust in people to be happy

Answer 8

Relax ,people are all different and wait until you hear what comes out of their mouth when you speak to them. Do not prejudge people based on how they are dressed.
Observe guys actions and try to be positive your self and I am sure you will find a nice respectfull guy.

Answer 9

Dont judge a book by its cover!!! Many a psycho have looked well groomed and gentlemanly... they can be the most cunning. Just take your time to get to know someone!

Answer 10

I say get yourself together, emotionally, physically and spiritually and if you are not saved, consider your spiritual life and let God bring you the right man. Once you're cool with yourself, your hang ups with men will probably lessen.