How can he stop?

Question

One of my best friends is 14. He's been doing drugs and drinking for years now. He's been to rehab 4 times, and it hasn't worked. He recently hurt somebody very close to him by calling her up while he was high, he feels really bad about that and he wants to quit. How can he stop? What methods could help him in his journey to stop the drugs and the alcohol?

He says that the girl he called up while he was high and I are his only friends. He says he can trust us with any information. He says he wouldn't get through the days without us. His life really sucks. He said that he started drugs when his dad died, because his mother doesn't care. He really does want to quit.

He knows that doing the drugs and alcohol is wrong. He's told me many times that I shouldn't think that he's a great guy, like I do. He says that he's become a monster. Truthfully, he's one of the best friends I've had in my life, but he can't see that, even though I've told him so many times. He tells me that I should judge him. That I shouldn't be his friend because of his addictions. Yet he knows that I'd never leave him, because he means so much to me. The night he made the phone call, he was all upset when he talked to me. He told me he wanted to cut his wrists to make it all end. I talked to him for 4 hours and convinced him not to. We went to sleep shortly after and I stayed up until 4:30 in the morning worrying about if he would really hurt himself or not. He needs help. He wants help.

And I know that at age 14, most people don't believe that he could be doing all that much, but you have no idea. He really worries me by everything he does, and I've been around drug addicts and alcoholics all my life.

Answer 1

I think you are a great friend for even asking advice for your friend. I think that is one of the things you can do is be supportive for him to help him quit. Another is just occuping his time with other things, basketball any type of games. Do some research on the effects of drugs and tell him what they can do in terms of hurting his body and his friends. I wish you and him well and we all need a good friend like you!

Answer 2

After 4 times in rehab, I'm afraid that he is a lost soul until he is imprisoned against his will for a very long time. The biggest problem is that a correctional or mental facility has such mean people in it. He may become a worse offender after he gets out because of the abuse he would have sustained there.

He obviously cannot be scared or sick enough to change, himself, now.......he has proven that.

You need to stay VERY far away from this person. I promise that you will regret the day that you let him get close enough to hurt you.....either emotionally, physically or sexually.

He is ill. He may not be able to help it....which makes him all the more dangerous. If he ever figures out that he was "born this way" he will use it as an excuse to hurt anyone and everyone and say it's not really HIS fault.....he was born mean and drugged.



I am sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for his parents' loss.

He will find "something" out there in life.


If he finds a clean and sober friend inside himself it will be a true miracle.


He's never too far gone for God's help.

Answer 3

He needs to go to an Addictions Foundation & talk to a counselor. He prob needs to go on some sort of program or something. He also needs SUPPORT. If he slips, don't put him down or whatever. Just try to help him through it one day @ a time. It's like breaking up... You take it a day @ a time. It's been 3 wks since I broke up wit my bf & I'm great :D I know that this is it for good. We broke up 4x. I don't feel the urge to call him whatsoever. Once he can put down the bottle for a given amount of time, he'll prob feel great for being able to do it. Maybe he should put an X through everyday that goes by that he doesn't drink or do drugs. Then he'll be able to literally SEE how he's progressing. Good luck !!! I know your friend can do it !!! Remind him of Drew Barrymore. She used to drink & do drugs when she was very young. Now she doesn't do that anymore :) Well, she's not an addict anymore :) Go Drew !!! :D lol

Answer 4

If you have a local S.T.O.P. program they can help him. At the age of 14 he cant be doing but so much, If he really wants help the rehab should have him clean, he needs to stay away from the people who does the drugs. If he has you believing this you should go to a class on how to deal with people who are on drugs. They do have a thing called tough love, forget about him and If he really wants to stop he will see he has lost/hurt every one and he should straiten right out

Answer 5

Rehab is probably one of the worst places for most people with addictions. Everyone I know who has gone that route has said it's an easy way to meet suppliers. ;-( Acknowledging he has a problem and wanting to change are the first steps. Maybe he will benefit from finding a support group for people with addictions. It also may help to find counseling or spiritual support (if he believes in a Higher Power) to address the underlying issues that led to his addictions. Above all, he must take responsibility for himself, his actions and the pain he has caused others because of it. Admitting, apologizing and not repeating hurtful behavior helps to rebuild trust. Best regards to your friend on his difficult journey to sobriety and self-respect.

Answer 6

no matter how many times he has been in rehab until he takes the first step and says he's ready, it wont work. once hes ready to take that step then rehab would be the next with a rough long road ahead. that where friends, family and alot of counceling would follow. also everyones prayers will help. but he has to take that first step and mean it. Best of luck!

Answer 7

Four times in rehab and he's only 14?. sadly...unless something short of a miracle occurs...he'll self destruct before he's 18.
The real problem is him not wanting to stop. He may say he does...but again his track record is lousy.
I wouldn't expect miracles but if it happens...well great. But for the rest of his life he runs the risk of falling back into his bad habits.

Answer 8

14 and in rehab 4 times, sweetie, someones not doing something right.. This sounds nasts but its what I would do if he was ming.. I'de put him away untill hes 18.. I know its crule but I'm thinking of the rest of his life..Even if he hated me I would atleast know he ok..I really dont think anything else will help,hes already got help 4 timet with no luck... ROB

Answer 9

He has got to want to quit. He needs to change the people he hangs around with. He needs some positive influence in his life. If he wants it and really tries then he can change. Getting high is just a cop out. It is the easy way out of dealing with problems. And he isn't the only one who has problems, we all got em.

Answer 10

wow a 14 year old who drinks and does drugs. He needs to understand its bad and want to stop doing it. If he has no will or doesnt thinks its a problem than he will just continue until something really bad happens. He needs to realize that there is no future if you keep doing those thinks. Take him to Maury Show :)