Why is there no one I can call to come take my toddlers or just give me a break when I come to my wits end????

Question

I'm no Andrea Yates, but to speak of it, why isn't there someone she could've called!
1-800-I'm Losing it!

Answer 1

Oh for heavens sake! Those of you who are going on about the birth control issue either have no children, or are forgetting the reality of what it is like *sometimes*. There are times in every Mom's life when she just doesn't have it. This is normal! It does not mean that we don't love our kids or don't want our kids, or wish we'd made different choices. There are just times when I'd love to be able to sit quietly for an hour and drink a cup of coffee. Or go for a run. Or just use the bathroom without having anyone talk to me through the door. (Sound familiar?) That said, there is nothing that I value as much as I do my kids. I adore them and adore being a Mom (and a stepmom)...

Usually. But, as I said, there are times.

Since I only have one at home just now, I've figured out some easy ways of grabbing some Mommy time. I have a few toys that my daughter loves that she doesn't get to play with all the time. When I need some time, I get one out and she gets half an hour with it. I go do yoga (in a room where I can still hear her). You can also stick them in the tub with no water and some finger paint.

I also try to schedule Mommy time where my husband plays with her.

Finally, a really good friend and I trade off kid-watching. Sometimes it just helps to call her and blither.

I can promise that as they get older and can play alone for longer and longer, the issue gets easier (and then you find yourself missing them...)

Deep breath!

Answer 2

Pull yourself together! You are the only mom those kids have. You need to make a schedule and keep them on it. Schedule yourself some relax time when they are napping. Read to them, make crafts-nothing too involved but brag on their work. Make cookies with them. If you do things together in an organized manner they will calm down and so will you. Never yell or hit because you are teaching them that that is the correct way to handle problems! Make nap time at the same time, no changes. Make healthy (no sugar)meals at the same time and bath and bedtime. If you are married you owe it to yourself and husband to have the time to share each other. Have him bathe the kids every other night so you can clean up the kit. and pick up some so you won't be stressed about all of it tomorrow when he isn't there. Toddlers love having a wet cloth to clean the low tables, handprints from doors,etc. No husband and you have to step up and deal! Toddlers are old enough to pick up their toys and to put their clothes in the hamper if you tell them, teach them, and expect it of them. It is the perfect time to teach them about consequences(maybe take away a special toy but not the one they sleep with-trauma will inccur with that) when they don't accomplish their chores.There are chuches that have moms day out and you don't have to pay. Some have it where you take turns with other moms. There is someone you can call at anytime and that is God. He is there to give you peace and guide you through these hard years. Give him a chance. God- Routine-Helpmate that gets it or sitters are the way to get through it!

Answer 3

I am so glad that I am not the only person who has thought this. I was just thinking this last night. I feel so guilty about it. Everyone experiences different things at different times, but I don't remember thinking this in the past. People don't like to admit to having thoughts like that, because some people might see it as a sign of weakness or accuse you of being a bad mother. The truth is most of us are doing the best we can and we are all human. I love my kids more than anything, but sometimes I want to scream. I have not had thoughts of hurting either of my kids thank God, but I know that it can get pretty tough sometimes.

Answer 4

I know what you mean!

If you need to talk to someone, contact your pediatrician or ob/gyn. They will have contacts for counselors, support groups, or local hotlines that can help you deal with frustration.

If you have the means, I have found that getting a babysitter for 1/2 day a week is a sanity saver. PERSONAL TIME. Remember that? Sigh. Even errands seem like luxury by yourself.

Possibly joining a mother's group in your community could also help. Group play dates take the pressure off, plus a group of moms to complain to. Some also have babysitting co-ops.

I wish you the best of luck! Take care of yourself!

Answer 5

i understand what you mean, i mean somtimes being a mom is really hard.
i like to take the kids to the park or maybe to McDonald's playground to give me a break. it gets some energy out for them, and lets me take a breather.
i am sure that there are some people that you could call: church members, neighbors, friends, teenagers are always wanting some extra cash.
please be always aware of your moods, you know when you need a break, and take it. i would hate to see another case like andrea yates (although i personally think she is insane)

Answer 6

I don't think you are a bad mother i have a 20 month old and a three month old and i defently have times where i feel like the stress of the two of them are wearing me down what i do to get away from it all when i don't have help from anyone else is sit them in a seperate room from me and relax for a while after i had time to rest or take a breather i go back to them and play i understand where you are cooming from

Answer 7

I am a grandmother. I just kept my grandchildren for a week. Does your mom live close enough to come get them. What about your hubby? Did you tell him you need a little time to yourself? Call your local high school. They may have teens looking to babysit. Or where I live the hospital gives babysitting classes. So, maybe they could help you. I know it is very trying at times. Hang in there!Best of luck finding some help.

Answer 8

Traditionally, the grandparents would have stepped in and taken the children to give the parents some time to renew themselves. I know we have, for our kids!

If we don't get them over at least one weekend a month, we go CRAZY!

But, the tradition is dying, more 'grand-parents' are working, or traveling, with less time to assist. The moral obligation of responsibility for all of ones' off-spring and theirs, is gone, along with the family farm!

Answer 9

Because that is motherhood. It comes with the good and bad and you just have to take a breather. Put them in their room or babybed make sure they are safe and go out side for few minutes to get a grip.

Answer 10

well, your profile says your 26 and married.. so, yeah, its called tell your husband its his kids too and to step up and take responsibility. Or drop your kids off at a "Mothers Day Out" program thats designed specifically for letting moms have a few hours to themselves each week... Alot of churches offer mothers day out programs and you dont have to be a member of the church to take advantage of it.. they watch your kids while you go out and watch a movie, have a nice lunch, get a manicure, whatever.