Why do some people want so many kids?

Question

I still dont understand what drives people to chose to have so many children. I have a friend that is going on her 4th, and will probably continue after that. The thing is they are not in such a great financial situation at all. I dont think they even have medical benefits secure. Its not just accidents that happen and they get pregnant. Her and her husband chose to continue. I only have 1 and possibly may have another as long as I am financially ok.
I really dont understand this way of thinking at all. Is there a psycological explanation behind why some people chose to have such a large family without having the means to accomadate so many? To make matters worse she is one of those moms that take her kids to a public place or to someones home and lets them go wild and never disciplines them for lack of respect for others and will curse someone out for telling her kids to control themselves. I am just curious if there is some type of personality explanation for people like this?

Well, I just think this day in age with alot of people not having medical and alot of jobs not offering or charging alot of money it results in it coming out of everyone elses pockets. If she actually controled her children and taught them how to respect others than perhaps I wouldnt see it so negative. I just dont agree with people who dont teach thier children manners to continue producing disrespectful people. Perhaps it ISNT my business. But I was actually looking for an educated answer on this matter not an OLD fashioned one. Wake up people its 2006, the world is a different place!

Ok, I am looking at all the answers and it seems as though everyone who seems to be against my opinion all have large families or come fromlarge families. I myself only have one other sibling, however my mother and father come from VERY large families in which they were raised with manners and respect.
My opinion is based on the fact that she doesnt control her children nor can they afford to maintain health insurance.

Answer 1

why does only the rich have to have kids. there is nothing wrong with that. my father had 11 brothers and 2 sisters. and 2 half brothers and sisters. they were poor growing up. but not anymore they all have great kids and appertate things more probable alot better then rich kids. have you ever seen daddys little girl on tv. if that was how my son were to grow up thinking the world ows you everything. then i would be sad. quit worrying about other people. its ashame that your so wraped up in there life . that you dont have one. are you that jealiuos. you think you are better then them

Answer 2

We have a friend here that has 15 going on 16 right now. I'm not wanting to be in her shoes for ever.
Some of this has to do with religion, some has to do with the fact that they just want large families.
I only have one and I'm having trouble figuring out what I'm paying his college with. Their oldest child is 17 and will graduate this next year...scary. Then a child every year there after for the next 20 plus years....
When I asked her once why she chose to have so many she simply said, because I love kids.
My cousin had 18 kiddos, she is the nicest and happiest person I've ever met.
As for the discipline of the kiddos, sounds like she lost control of that a long time ago and maybe they were not disciplined themselves as children. If they were in my home and hanging off the curtains and running through the house, I would say something. If she said something back, I would say, "Okay, then do something about this, my house is not a jungle gym". If she choses to leave, then so be it, she is being rude by letting her children run all over the place and make themselves unliked....
I think if they are going to have that many children, the best they can do is respect other people and their things....she's rude be rude, she's respectful, be respectful...kinda like when in Rome do as the Romans do!

Answer 3

I can't figure out if this question is mainly about the size of families....or parenting style. I have seen People who have only 2 kids, and have TERRIBLE parenting strategies that make me want to call CPS on them. And I have also seen families with 6 or 7 kids that are absolutely AWESOME, and they are raising great, talented, well adjusted kids.
I think it is a choice between a Husband a Wife how many children they want to raise. For some, money is a big factor in that decision. For others, the LOVE they have to give their kids is the factor in that decision. And love never runs out, so they have more to give. Perhapse that is why they want lots of kids. Some people want small families so they can maintian a higher financial status. Some people could care less, and just value the family unit as the most important unit in society, and therefore, their children are the most valuable ascet to them.

Now when there is a dirt poor trashy woman who has 5 kids, by 4 different daddy's, and has been working the welfare system to its furthest extent....then there is a problem because my tax dollars pay for FAR to many of those! And I do have a problem with the government awarding people who are immoral and trashy.

Answer 4

I really don't know, maybe is ignorance, some kind of competition or an animal instinct for continuation of the race. Where I came from the peoples of the lower economical classes have a lot of children to receive more governmental assistance. In general peoples with more education try to have one or two children, this sounds ironic but is the reality. In many European countries, like Spain or Italy with a superior "way of life", the birth rate is below two children by a couple. This is a contradiction because the people that can support a big family are the ones having less children and the ones that depends on the government have a lot(in general).

Answer 5

In this day and age, when overpopulation and poverty are such problems, perhaps it is our duty to assure that the children we bring into the world do not become a burden on society or the world. Having many kids perhaps makes the parents feel more powerful as they have more people to control. But as you pointed out, love doesn't pay the bills, and all land is owned by someone somewhere so we can't just go and squat somewhere and put up a cabin.
True some may still manage to get on their feet and become contributing members but many fall through the cracks.
I overheard a woman saying to another, "If you just have one or two, you have to work really hard to make sure they both make it in this world. If you have a lot, like five or six, you figure one of them will 'make it' so you don't have to work so hard." I couldn't help but think, 'is life so cheap?' Doesn't each child brought into this world deserve a chance to live decently?

Answer 6

Why do people think it's their business how many kids another family has? I only have 2 kids so far but I want 3 more. The other 3 I want to have when I'm done with college. I go back next year. My fiance and I aren't on welfare. If we can provide for 3 kids on 1 income, shouldn't we be able to provide for 5 on 2 incomes? I mean seriously, I know it doesn't sound like much but when I'm done with school, I'll make between 20 and 30 bucks an hour. The other thing, I only have 1 brother. My mom has 1 sister and 4 brothers. My dad has 4 brothers, 4 sisters, and my grandmother raised her grandchild because her daughter was raped at 12. I come from a large family. My fiance comes from a big family. His mom has 2 sisters and 3 brothers. His dad has 3 sisters and 2 brothers. I always thought that our family get togethers were much more fun having large families. I never got lonely when I was young because I had so many cousins around. My grandparents never had problems out of my parents and aunts and uncles. Neither of my grandmother's ever worked. Why does having that many kids affect anyone else? It's not like my family used tax dollars to provide for our kids. I never had. My girls have medical, dental. We're buying a house in the next year. My kids are very well behaved. Sorry for souding rude at the begining but there are so many people that act like it's a crime to have big families. I don't see how it should be a problem is someone can afford it. Another thing, the hospital I'll be working at when I'm done with school: 100% medical coverage.

Answer 7

NO WAY! I'm not rich by any means. Waiting on my unborn twins #'s 6 & 7. And I do ok with the job that I have.

My children are beautiful, smart, gifted & talented, and in advanced curriculums. Not many people can say that about ONE of their children.

I was born the 8th of 9 children. There are generations of not only many children, but many generations of geniuses.

So my point is - of course we will have children!!

God only gives you what you can handle. And God has blessed not only my family, but the generations before me.

And I am PROUD. Proud to be a good mother, proud to have had loving brothers and sisters, proud of the generations before me, who have done nothing but good deeds and hard work before me.

Answer 8

hi, well i have a 1 year old son and i just found out today that I am pregnant.
My way of thinking is a little different. I beleive that the Lord is in control of everything! My husband and i don't use protection, we trust that the Lord will bless us when the time is right.
I don't have control of my own life, I have surrended it over to the Lord and I trust that He will take care of us. If we are obidient to Him, He will surely bless us.
I don't agree with any means of getting pregnant, medically. The Lord has control over everything. And I will surely not try to take control of my own life, because it is not mine to control.
If the Lord wants to bless me and my husband with 7 kids...awesome! But if He only has 2 in store for us......awesome!

Answer 9

i have 4 brothers and 1 sister. all of us were planned. my mom wanted 12, but she wasn't able due to health issues. my parents love kids......but they rule with an iron fist. they've gotten soft in thier old age....yipeee!!!!!!!!!
when i have kids i want like 8. i love kids, and i think they are one of the greatest blessings possible!

Answer 10

could i have your friends phone number and e mail address? i would love to send what you wrote about her and her children to her...this would take care of the problem for YOU anyway!!!!!

smiling at you mother of 3 oh my gosh......3 children!!!!!