How do you cope with that? I don't know what it is like to have a closeness with my family because my stupid stepdad is always around. I can't stand anything about him. He treated me so bad as a kid and took every bit of dignity and self respect I had. He even forced me to call him DAD. I hate him so much that I want to cut myself and pretend Im hurting him instead of myself. Have you ever hated anyone that much?
2006-07-07 14:35:46 · 18 answers · asked by jkeys00 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yup... my stepdad was the same way. My mom got with him when i was little and around the time i turned 12 he used to make me stay in my room when he was home, and id have to eat in there, and i was never aloud talkin to my mom... My Little sisters (his real kids) n him and my mom would all watch a movie and have mcdonalds or something and id be up in my room trying to figure out why i was in trouble cause i didnt understand... (this wasnt groundation this was just how i was living) couple years down the road i developed an attitude, and the older i got the worse hed beat me up, and the stupider hed make me feel... He ended up throwin me out when @ 14 1/2 and i was more then happy to leave. Ill be 18 july 19 im getting married in 2 months and im having a baby in december.
But your right. He did try and take away my childhood, my family, my dignity and self respect, by making me feel worthless.
YOU are not worthless, Dont hurt your self cuzza that jackass cantact me any time you would like please ( sorry my answers so long... got carried away...)
2006-07-07 14:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Bethy 2 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I have had to live with someone I absolutely despised and hated every second. But nothing like what you've gone thru.
Don't hurt yourself honey, after all, you will only be hurting yourself, not him. And you don't deserve that.
Is there someone you can talk to? A councellor at school or an adult or trusted family member? Try to find someone you can talk to. I hate this is happening to you because of how an adult has treated you. Hugs to you. I hope you can find someone to help you, but please don't hurt yourself.
2006-07-07 21:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never really "hated" anyone at all. I have only tried to understand them and most of the time if they did rotten things to me I felt sorry for them.
Your situation sounds very much like what my husband had to grow up with. He had to watch and his step-dad held his mom at gun point. Now his Step-dad is trying to say that he is our son's grandpa. You can imagine how that makes my husband feel.
My husband let the relationships from his past bother an affect him for a long time. It even effected our relationship. Now he realizes that by continueing to hurt and to make decisions based on what used to be he is allowing the past, or the people from his past to control him. By being angry he certainly isn't hurting the person he is angry at. In fact, they probably never even think of him, so why would him being angry do anything to them. All it does is make him miserable and make him take it out on the people around him. (He's lucky to have an understanding wife!)
One day he decided that this was his life, and it was time to get on with it. He put his priorities in order and started living like he actually has a say in what goes on in his life. It certainly helped that he now has a relationship with God that he draws strength from and gives him a new perspective as to what should be important to him. I find him looking outward more now, instead of inward at his own self.
BTW, did you see the part where I said that "he decided"? Everything in your life is directly linked to a decision that you make. You can even choose to love or hate someone or to decide that they are not worth the trouble. You can decide to be hurt or to leave the past behind you. It is all up to you. You should try reading the book, "The Purpose Driven Life." I think it would be very helpful for you. I know it changed my life.
I hope you can find the strength an the power to get through this. The only true advice I have for you is that there is only one place you can find those two things. In yourself through a relationship with Jesus Christ. I will keep you in my thoughts, and as often as I think of you I will mention you to my heavenly father.
2006-07-07 22:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by reteach007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Calm down........ you have to accept the fact that you live with them. If your situation is anything like mine, you have to stay in the house you live in and cannot escape your stepdad. Don't hurt yourself... just find something else to distract you, like learning a sport or playing an instrument, and look forward to the time when you can leave your house.
2006-07-07 21:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by highstrung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never hated anyone THAT much, but I think hatred (resentment) is natural to us, humans, when we have to see each other very often. It grows out of personality clashes and unresolved conflicts, that pile over time little by little.
I think you should talk to your step dad about it, telling how much you hurt...not screaming or fighting, if possible, but telling all your feelings and thoughts.
Maybe he will not understand that. Maybe he will not ask you to forgive him, but you need to forgive him, so that this hatred will not leak and spoil your relationship to other people.
I sincerely hope that you can cope with it and find inner peace.
Blessings to you!!!!!!!
2006-07-07 21:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by yojik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have and still do hate someone that much. I hate my adopted parents. They abused me as a child in many ways and even as an adult they still make my life miserable. I cant stand them no matter how much time passes. Dont fret on it take life one day at a time.
2006-07-07 21:39:04 · answer #6 · answered by jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step families are sooooo tough. Try try try to tough it out. Stay out of his way....but be as civil as you can be for your mom. You're almost out on your own, right? Count the days.....and meanwhile, do the chores or whatever that he's nagging you to get done. You don't have to love him....just consider him a room mate that's paying your rent, TV, phone, computer, etc. Stay out of trouble, and give your mom lots of love...she needs that so much from you, k? Try to understand that she loves you AND him, but that she and he aren't perfect and don't always make perfect choices for you. Good luck! Find a stepfamily forum online...
2006-07-07 21:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by maynerdswife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes but cutting yourself only hurts you..you need to get out of your house as much as possible...get into some community activates
2006-07-07 21:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for me it was my sister. basically the best thing to do is pretend to be civil around him to catch him off guard so he'll ease up on you and then try to arange things to do without him such as the big brother big sister program or something volunteer work. Than if he trys to stop you from doing that people will say that hes a jerk and you will be right.
2006-07-07 21:41:41 · answer #9 · answered by whyohcruelworld 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy the fact that one day you will be able to move out and be away from him and not owe him anything. You can not talk to him, not see him, not acknowledge him ever again. But don't hurt yourself, I would give the ******** the satisfaction.
2006-07-07 21:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by 2007_Shelby_GT500 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋