How do I talk to my mom without cring...now that she is dying?

Question

Thank u all so much for the kind words.I am letting it all out right now!:( ,and I think i can be strong in time.

Yes i mean crying...........I am just so upset right now a don't know what to think half the time.

Answer 1

This is a hard one.A really close friend of mine died of cancer in august of 2004.She had 5kids living w/her.Let her know she's doing a good job.I think that may be what every mom needs to know.My friend gave everything away and kept working til 1 month b4 she passed.Are you old enough to confirm everything will be taken care of?Don't worry too much about crying,it's ok.Keep on reminding her how blessed you were to have her.Laugh with her at the funny stuff.God Be With You Both.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry about what is occuring to you. I have looked through other people's advice telling you that it's okay to cry if it's really necessary and I absolutely agree. Why would you want to hide your true feelings when you aren't able to see her anymore? I don't think it's fair to her and it's absolutely not fair to you that you have to hide your feelings when there is no law that says you have to. I think you should spend the last moments with her thinking about the old times, the happy times, the funny times, and even the sad times. Talk to her about everything possible letting her know that she means a lot to you and I think she will have something to say back to every single ones of the things you say to her. Maybe she will tell you her feelings on thse occasions which can cause laughter or sadly, even tears. But, if you really must feel that you have to have a smile on your face everytime you see her, then think of the happy times you had together or strike up a conversation with her about something. If in fact you can't bring yourself to do any of these then why bother right? I hope you actually take the advice that people have kindly given you and not avoid her at all. I had to go through a tough time when my mom had cancer and I couldn't do a single thing about it being stuck in school and not a miracle worker and she had it twice. I know a bit of what you're going through and it's really okay to cry. What you should be doing is spending your time with her, whether you are crying or laughing... time is precious and I believe you know this as well as I do.

Answer 3

I assume that by cring you mean crying. Why shouldn't you cry? You're in the horrible position of having something you fear the most drawn out over time, which severely compounds it.

Get with her and cry it all out; it'll help you and her both. It'll tell her that she did her job right; she has a daughter who loves her and she'll be missed. There is no easy way to encounter death, either our own or that of our loved ones.

It's generally easier to take if it's sudden and unexpected, but the end result is always the same; you will miss the person forever. The pain dulls, but not the memory. Sometimes the memory will be pleasant, sometimes it'll hurt. It's natural; it's coming and you have to deal with it, just like she does.

Get with her and only worry if you DON'T cry. She'll help you through it, and that'll help her through it.

Answer 4

Sometimes you can and sometimes you can't and that's just the way it will be in a situation where you're losing someone you love and care for, especially a parent. The best you can do is to try and keep the conversations upbeat but you can't avoid those conversations about the end drawing near and you shouldn't. As odd as this may sound, this is a special time in both your lives and if ever you were going to allow your relationship to be completely open, honest and uninhibited then now is the time. I went through this with my father in 2004, dying from cancer, and we cried, laughed and talked about things we never talked about before and in the end I know we were both better and happier for it.
This is hard for you and your mother, I know and I'm sorry for what you're facing but remember this is part of life too and deserves to be treated with the same respect as living.

Best Wishes

Answer 5

Remember The Good Things,Life Is Short For Us All,Make Her Proud Of You Show The Strength She Has Instilled In You.Cherish The Last Moments Together,Make Them Special,Help Her Fight And Show No Weakness,She Will Draw Off Your Strength Not Your Weakness,Do It For Moms Sake

Answer 6

Bring some support with you, husband, kids friend anyone who can help give you strength through this difficult time. And also, sometimes you need to cry. Sorry for what you are dealing with :( be strong and look to the future.

Answer 7

You will be able to find the strength...as you realize that this is your final chapter with her. You will surprise yourself with your ability to cheerfully reminisce about the life you two have shared together.

You will realize that you've been given a gift that not everybody gets....time to say goodbye. You will also understand that your mom will also want to take advantage of his time you have left.

Soon you will understand that the time for pain, loss and tears are for later. As for now, every moment you have is precious with her.

Answer 8

Just keep your head up and think of it like this she going to better place where she won't have to take any pain. I know your proble saying you don't know what your talking about but I do because i had to give up of love my family said look at as it was a good thing I thougt they were crazy untill I started to understand and youwill as time passes by.

Answer 9

Suck it up and realize that whatever time you have left should not be spent on being upset. If you love her enough please try to make her last time the best she ever had and if she is not well enough for activities, reading together and looking at picture albums is time well spent and you can make more great memories together. She will thank you for your courage to carry on, being happy that you didn't make her last time with sorrowful ones. HOpe this helps and God bless.....

Answer 10

I'm very sorry !! I've worked with people who were dying for many years. Hon, try to be strong around your mom and remember the good things and share these memories with her while you can. Hearing is the last sense to go, so even if she can't respond, she can hear you. It would be very sad for her to leave this earth knowing what pain you're going through. Please try for her sake. I'm really sorry, I know that's hard to hear and probably very hard to do. My prayers are with you both. God Bless you !!