Hitting/spanking children- What's your view on this issue?

Question

Are you against it?
Are you for it?
Are you not sure?
Maybe a little bit of both?

Explain your answer if possible.

Answer 1

I'm a mom of 5 children. I don't spank. I don't do any kind of abuse to them. When they misbehave, they help with household chores, or I take away privileges.

Children remember the spanking more than they remember their bad deed. I'm sure we've all heard someone say "Man, I don't remember what I did wrong, but my dad beat me so bad..."

I want my children to grow up intelligent, independent, strong people. I teach them as much of right ways as I can. We have manners.

No, my house is not messy and my children don't run wild. They are actually good-natured, well-mannered. In gifted & talented curriculums, have extremely high scores.

And you know why? Because I love them. I want them to know the good things in life, how much there is to cherish and learn. We're all here only once. And I didn't give birth to any of my children to beat the piss out of them. I had them to love them.

And I know that one day - when they leave, they'll come back.

To all the people out there who put their hands on a defenseless child who looks to you for guidance, support, and love -

shame on you.

Answer 2

I think spanking is wrong. Beating, hitting, slapping. SAME THING people below. It is a poor, uneducated, lazy form of parenting. This is what spanking and hitting a child will do:
It leads to fear and avoidance. It gives children confusing messages and makes them think that using violence to solve problems is okay. It can introduce problems later on as they grow up for example bullying others, agressive behavior, criminal behaviors, stealing and domestic violence. Parents will spank out of their own anger and frustration because it makes them feel better. I believe it also makes the child become sneaky. It doesn't stop the unwanted behavior long term and children will do anything to avoid being hit. They aren't given a chance to learn from their mistakes, learn how to solve problems, use good judgement, control emotions, or feel confident and secure. Important factors needed as adults in life. You basically change who they are when you hit them. It is hard to justify the admonition "Don't hit!" while the parents are spanking the child for hitting. I get so tired of hearing "I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine." It is just a wimpy, uneducated, destructive way of parenting. Some people might believe that back in the old days, children were much better behaved because they were spanked and now kids are out of control these days because parents don't spank and let their kids run the show. Well, most kids who were spanked back then are the parents you see nowadays that have completely turned the opposite and show qualities of passive parenting. SPANKING ISN'T THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE. My children are never spanked and are happy, confident well behaved kids. I just educated myself on effective ways of discipline and it has payed off. They are not holy terrors. I have worked in 5 daycares and the children that were aggressive used hitting to get their way. They mostly appeared negative and unhappy. As some people say "Spank out of love and not anger." How is that even possible!!! What a stupid way of thinking. And that whole "Spare the rod." is mislead and interpreted the wrong way. It is proven with facts in the site below.

Answer 3

Hitting your child, whether it be a beating or a spanking, is a cop-out way of parenting. While punishment in this form can be effective in immediacy, it may be the cause of problems further in the development of your child.

Instead of using punishment to discipline your child you can use a more effective tool known as negative reinforcement. This is accomplished by creatively rewarding your child for not doing actions that you have previously warned against. If your child does do something bad at first you must warn them not to do it again and explain why it is not acceptable behavior. Then inform them on what they will be rewarded with if they successfully avoid that behavior later.

Punishment is less effective than this method, but if you are a lazy parent and decide to use it you should make sure to explain thoroughly why they are being punished.

Answer 4

Never hit in anger. You teach your children by your own behavior and one day, they'll be big and can hit back. Hitting? Not for it at all. Spanking? Not a fan of repeatedly spanking per offense. Now if your child is being defiant after you have expressed what that their behavior is unacceptable, then a small "love tap" to get their attention and let them know you are serious may do the trick. But spanking on every syllable for each sentence you are saying "I told you not to do that" (7 spanks) is unnecessary. Plus, beating, hitting and constant spanking isn't the way to "earn" respect. Your patience and finesse is YOUR guide for how good of a parent you are.

Answer 5

I'm a little bit of both. I never spank the kids when I am mad or upset. I make them go in their room for a time out until I think about things.

I never use an object to spank my kids with. Once in a great while a swat on the butt to grab their attention- but, now my kids are getting older. Normally, I will say - my kids hate being grounded more than anything - so thats the method I use most.

I am not a screamer. I hate it when moms scream at their kids. It just puts them down to the level of a 2 yr old. Drives me crazy when I hear a mom screaming.

Answer 6

i think that every child deserves a spanking once in a while when they are being hellians. I dont agree with backhanding, or leaving bruises. I also think that kids deserve a time out when they are doing something they know is wrong. And don't spank all the time because then they won't take it seriosly. I also think that small slap on the mouth is okay if your child is backtalking or sassin off. It might make you feel bad but its good to let the child know that they can't walk all over you cuz he/she will get worse when they are teens.(use spanking as a last resort and always be calm about it and talk to them and let them know why you did it)and dont be afraid to praise them when they are good. you have to treat the good things and the bad things equally this means praise when good and punish when naughty.

Answer 7

Hitting and spanking are two different things. When a child needs to be spanked for discipline reasons it's different than hitting them out of your own anger. I was spanked as a child. I knew that my parents weren't abusing me, they were teaching me something. And it made me learn my lesson. Me personally I do not spank my children unless they do something totally out of control. For things such as not listening or just simply acting up. I use other forms of discipline. I think it's all in what you believe and what you think is best for your own children. I don't think it should be up to anyone else.

Answer 8

As a mother of 4, I can yell and threaten all I want most of the time. However, When I give a swat on one of their butts, it grabs their attention. With my 10 yr old spanking really is not an option, he is as big as I am, so grounding seems to work the best, along with extra chores. With my younger childern, grounding doesn't really work. I have learned to pick my battles, spank when nessary and let kids be kids as long as the aren't bring harm. So, I guess I am for spanking as long as I don't cross the line.

Answer 9

I spank only if nothing else works. I beilve talking to my kids and explaining what they have done wrong to them then having a time out to think about the problem. If they do harm to someone or something then I may tap them (like hitting brother or something) and ask them if they like being hit...They say no and I explain that their brother did not like it either and they seem to understand the first time...But I have very timid children this may not work with all kids...

Answer 10

I grew up under a strict household where my father spanked all of us for the mistake of one. My cousin, on the other hand, grew up in a "friendlier" environment free of that type of punishment. Today, we both turned out exactly the same - respectful, obedient, polite.

If I knew the results would be the same in the end, I think I would've preferred my dad not to spank us.

Think of children as sand. The tighter you hold on to sand in the palm of your hand, the more it will trickle down through your fingers, and you'll end up with less sand than you started with. But if you just keep your hand open and relaxed and let the sand sit there, it will stay in its place, and you get to keep all of it without losing a single grain.

Answer 11

Spanking is okay if done in the proper manner. When my 2 year old is acting up I try to get her to stop using other methods first. If all else fails I warn her and count to 3 and if she doesn't stop, she will get a nice warm bottom. The only time I don't use other tactics first is if she is physically hurting another child then I will just stop her myself and smack her hand or her bottom.