So, my boyfriend died, and my parents love me but don't like me. I was abused for a number of years. I get aggrivated because I have nobody-no best friends, no Grandma, nothing. So I went to camp and got a boy and made-out alot. Is this because I don't feel loved, or am trying to replace something or whatever? Because for some reason I feel attatched to the boy. Do I need councelling or something?
2006-07-07 10:13:28 · 31 answers · asked by Ava 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I did give it to God, but, I just need someone to tell me what I'm feeling. It's alot more complicated then this.
2006-07-07 10:21:40 · update #1
And I said nothing about sex....just making out a few or more times.
2006-07-07 10:22:20 · update #2
Let me tell you am sorry those things have happened to you...
To me it sounds like you are trying to hide your feelings by placing them in this boy. Try to find someone older to talk to....I know you probally won't like this idea...but find a church. There are alot of good people there...God is amazing and he will heal you. Trust me I know....I gave part of my heart away to a guy and he ended up "throwing" it away...anyway i was depressed and wanted to die...but i gave it to God and he did heal me and he got me back on track. Now through his grace I know more of where my purpose in life is...and he has blessed me with someone I am seriously praying about a courtship with.
I'll pray for you
2006-07-07 10:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well girl, not to go all Dr. Phil on you, first you need to realize that there is a BIG difference between being alone, and being lonely. Sounds to be you may be a little of both. Beware of the "latch on" syndrome, which basically means that you may find yourself doing things to get friends and/or people to notice you. Nothing in life can bring back the things you lost, I.E. loved ones, virginity, things you should have not done, etc. Know this, you're not the only one that feels alone in the world, the best thing I would say is to find what makes you happy, try and spend 30-45 min a day doing this activity, make sure that you do things that your comfortable with, and don't let the fear of always being alone make you do things just to get attention. Making out with a boy at camp is not a good way to find a close, personal friend. Anyone can "make-out", lay down with someone, etc. (not implying, just saying) but what does that prove ? I don;t know your age, but know that 12-18 year opld males, do whatever, whenever for a piece of you know what. I don't think counsling is what you need, you need to find things that interest you, start doing those things, and eventually, when you don't expect it, you'll meet peeps...Thats just my 2 cents..for what its worth....
2006-07-07 17:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your BF .. mine past away last year ... !
There's a lot going on here and you have to remember that life is short .. and you really make your own decisions wither or not you want to be happy, sad, aggravated, ...etc... !
Making out with boys probably doesn't mean much .. ( if you start sleeping around with random people - that's when I would get worried )
Getting over stuff and moving on in life is the hardest .. try not to look at it as "getting over" things .. why not LIVE & LEARN .. it's all we can do in life ... learn from what your parents did to you as a child .. treat people with respect & pass on what you learn to your children... learn from the loss of your boyfriend - don't take things forgranted it can be gone in a second if you're not careful ...
If you feel better talking to people about everything then I would look into some professional help .. I've never liked talking to strangers and then having them tell me what to do ... I don't think so .. !
Hope you take care of yourself and try not to look at the bad things in life .. !
2006-07-07 17:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, regardless that you think you have know one, there is always GOD! Even when times are ruff and you feel like you can't go on, he is there. Loosing someone is always painful, and regardless to what you think your parents do love you. They may not show it, and they may always criticize everything you do. But they do love you. As for the boy you met. Ask yourself 3 questions: 1) Does he call you & take you out?
2) Does he ask you questions about how you are feeling?
3) Does he share his life and dreams with you?
If you can answer yes to all of these things, then he may be worth getting to know better. But take it slow and really get to know each other. And yes, I think counseling would benefit you. It would give you a chance to talk to someone without worrying about them judging you and telling your personal business to anyone. Couseling isn't just for the insane. :)
2006-07-07 17:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by icandyshaun69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont have a good relationship with your parents and feel all alone then you could be trying to replace the love in your life by what you did. I grew up without a dad and at times I did things to replace his spot in my life. I would totally recommend you get some counseling so you dont spend the rest of your life seeking out love in the wrong way. Believe me, you will have a much better future if you sort all this out now. If you dont it will still be with you as you get older.
2006-07-07 17:18:45 · answer #5 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a lot to deal with. If you have feelings for the boy you made out with, it doesn't mean you don't feel loved. It means you are moving on, which is good. People die, and yes, it's sad, but you are alive and need to continue down your path. Or, it could be that the boy reminds you of your deceased boyfriend so you are attached to the new one. It's great that you're moving on, but counseling is always a good step to take to help you move on even further. Good luck!
2006-07-07 17:25:12 · answer #6 · answered by i_hate_subway 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are and you did not say what form of abuse you endured. You say your parents love you but don't like you and I wonder about that comment. Are you on drugs.promiscuous, won't work? What is your parents dissatisfaction with you? If you are living a life of just drifting then you can not expect to attract a nice stable young man in your life. You need to figure out what you want in life and start working towards it. I am sorry for the loss of a young man that you cared for but you need to work towards finding a man that will care for you. Making out does not mean love. Love will care what happens tomorrow, not just tonight.
Get your head on straight.
2006-07-07 17:23:53 · answer #7 · answered by Janis G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn, that's sad about your boyfriend. Sorry to hear that. You may be filling a void. However, if you're having fun right now and no one is getting hurt, go with it. It sounds like you need this.
A counselor wouldn't be a bad idea right now just because you have a lot going on in your life and your history. Best wishes.
2006-07-07 17:18:37 · answer #8 · answered by dhalia_1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try councelling. You feel attatched because you suddenly feel like someone cares, you naturally, you want to stick with it. A counselor can help you out with sorting out everything.
2006-07-07 17:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really evaluate your feelings. How does this boy make you feel?? Maybe you are just with him because you're lonely. Or maybe you're ready to accept your past and move on.. and this boy does make you happy! Counseling isn't a bad thing!
2006-07-07 17:17:19 · answer #10 · answered by ready4answers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋