tell me short jokes...short and simple and funny of course?

Answer 1

what r the 3 fastest ways to communicate??
1. Internet.. 2. Telephone.. 3. Telewoman!!


Wife: Why r u home so early??
Husband: My boss told me to go to hell


Girlfriend: will u love me when I'm old, fat n ugly??
Boyfriend: of course i DO!!!

Answer 2

I was watching a rerun of the old show "Wings" today, and when I read your question, I thought of the joke that was on the show.

A man went to a doctor and told the doctor that one minute he thought that he was a wigwam and then a teepee, a wigwam and then a teepee. The doctor looked at him and said, 'You're problem is that you're too tents.'

(If you say the last part out loud, you'll understand the joke better)

Enjoy!!

Answer 3

A desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.

HE WROTE:

Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation. I have a strong indication to become your relation. As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication that I have passed my matriculation examination; no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation. What do you say to the solemnisation of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilisation and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint dissimilation. Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion, To remain victim of your fascination.

SHE WROTE:

Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,

Congratulation for your lengthy narration of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation for a combination which on examination I find is a fine presentation of your ambition. You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, what about my graduation after a long botheration, so improve situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation and minimum qualification for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation undergo beautification. Further strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for the determination of our relation.

1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection.
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of any fascination and,
3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of paper conversation. I Remain, Unaffected by your affection.

Answer 4

A lady married a man last name wong things didn`t work out so they got divorced . Then she married another man last name wong things didn`t work out between them either so they got divorced. The lady married again to a man last name white. The moral of the story is two wongs don't make a white.

Answer 5

Dirty joke- Three white horses fell in the mud LOL

Answer 6

Firm It Up

One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."

While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.

With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your brother.

Answer 7

why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors?

Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan

Answer 8

What did the fish say when he bumped his head?
DAM!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter--he won't come when you call anyway!