im about to go crazy ,,i need help to get over my mothers death,,i can handle it at all,,its been 3 years,HELP

Question

i take medication ,,for depression,,iv talk to friends ,,but i cant stand it,,,it hurts so bad sometimes,,i dont even get out of bed or get dressed

Answer 1

My mother died about two years ago and its been really hard for me too. Some days are better than others but it is still the most horrible experience of my life.
I know for a fact though that my mother would not want me to be sad or depressed.
If I died before she did I would not want her to be that way either.
I would want her to be happy because I love her. I would not want her to destroy herself because of me.
I would hope that she would not close herself off from the rest of the wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful!) experiences that she is yet to encounter in her life.
Please get out of bed and get dressed.

Answer 2

Wow! I think that if my mother or when my mother passes away, I would probably be really depressed for a long time. I love her so much and she is such a positive force in my life. Yet, I guess one can't sit by and wastes one's life away in sadness and inertia. I am presently depressed and on medication, but it still does not seem to be helping, and sometimes I can't get out of bed either. I hope you have a good therapist and a good psychiatrist. If not, shop for one. Do just that, if that's all you can do. My psychiatrist gives me some hope that I'll get out of my depression because she is very adept at psyco-pharmacology, and is going to keep trying with different medication and different doses until I am better. I hope the day will come soon when you do wake up serene and looking forward to something good. They say that volunteering is very therapeutic. Maybe you can try that. I can't work because I get migraines on an almost daily basis. I am sorry for your loss. You do know deep down that your mother wants you happy, so I hope you get there.

Answer 3

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss and i could not imagine how you must feel. But you need to remember life still goes on, even tho sometimes you may not want it to, it has to. Do you think your mother would want you to be living you life like this? I know that it hurts but you need to accept those feeling but not let them become you. If you let these feeling take over who you are it will get harder. Are you seeing a mental health care specialist? They help a lot. you have so much things building up in your head and don't no how to release them. By talking to someone they will help you release those feelings so they are not on your mind constantly and you can go on and live a happy life. I know it would be hard if I ever lost my mother and the thought of it actually does scare me but there are plenty of people in your life that need you and love you. Do you want someone else to hurt the way you are hurting. Everyone who is watching you suffer and be in so much pain daily are suffering to. I came accross this quote the other day by Helen Keller "the world is filled with pain and suffering, but it is also filled with the overcoming of it" remember that. I lost a child a little over a year ago and hopefully when I say that it does get better you can believe me. There was so many days I just wanted to die so I could see her again but I kept strong and to this day not a day goes by that i don't think of my little girl but it has gotten a lot easier to deal with the pain and thoughts. I just know she wouldn't want me to stop living my life because she is no longer living. because they are with us all the time, your mother is holding your hand through this journey and she is trying to help you along. Good luck to you and you will be in my prayers.

Answer 4

you need to calm down and take deep breaths. It could be your medication b/c sometimes anti depressants can make it worse. Talk to a doctor or a therapist, don't hold anything inside.
Your mom is still with you and she probably wouldn't want to see you like this...start convincing yourself that today is going to be a better day, and you will eventually feel better. It takes time..but you can't waste your life away.

Answer 5

Posting this question was a good start in helping you get some kind of consolation and support. You will probably never get over the loss of your mother. My father was 47 when he passed, 14 yrs ago. I miss him and still think about him. You need to know your mother is ok and her love will always be with you. Even though her body isn't here anymore, she didn't die, she lives in your heart and memories and is always with you. I think it is good for you to talk to others about this and hope you get support and encouragement you need to get through this and to carry on with your life.

Answer 6

Dearest Rita---

I do not know what your religious preferences are, so please accept my apologies if what I have to say to you is not in line with your beliefs. I mean no harm. I am simply trying to offer some guidance, because you are obviously in distress.

Please know that your loved ones are always with you. Your mother may have shed the physical body, but she lives on as a Soul, in Spirit.

We are all connected, in Spirit. So, you may not have the physical connection any longer, but a connection between your Soul and hers still exists, and always will. I also know from direct experience that loved ones try to reach out and let us know that they are alright and that they continue on, they are not "gone." We must be open to the variety of ways in which they can communicate with us, however.

I can only suggest that you open up to the idea that your mother can reach out to you. Speak to her. Ask her for a sign of her presence--and be open to how that may come.

A good friend of mine lost her daughter in a tragic car accident 3 years ago. She, too, still has moments of grief. However, she has received so many signs from her daughter, so many confirmations of her presence, that her grief has lessened quite a bit and it becomes easier and easier to deal with her death.

Perhaps you could find some comfort also if you read some materials on the afterlife. This was a great comfort to my friend, as she read many books/stories about others who had lost loved ones and how they received confirmation of their presence.

It is still a difficult process, to deal with a loved one's passing. But, if you can understand and even experience the fact that they still exist, although in a different form, it can be very comforting.

My prayers are with you. I ask the Angels to guide you and help you to deal with this situation and I wish you all the best.

Answer 7

Wow Rita 3 years, I don't know what to say, I lost mine 30 years ago and the pain is still fresh in my heart, but even when I felt that everything was hopeless I remembered how much mom struggled for me and I just faked it,I faked it til I made it. I put on a big act and I did it for mom, and because I tried so hard I was able to reach out to you today - I pray your pain will lessen

Answer 8

Go to church and talk with someone there. Go to some support groups there are probably some out there. Go ASAP and do this. Go and help with the Elderly that can't get around and that might help you get though this. Also just keep yourself busy and make yourself do it. Even if you don't want to go.

Answer 9

you know it hard to say when any one get over a death i lost my dad 2 1/2 years ago i was the one who did things with him took him to the doctor so i was of coarse the one to see him die, and be the one who had to step up and take controll i had to call my brother to call my mom so of coarse it caused me to go on atidepressents, But if your still depressed maybe you need to change meds I know their were days i had a hard time dealing with little things somtime out of know were i felt sad and had know problem telling my doctor that i need my medication raised.
join a support group i am not one to do this i have a hard time telling people my problems in a group so if your like me find a good friend a relative my aunt was mine because when my granparent died he parents she also fell in to it so we have that bond so i understand sometime it hits you hard.
I hate when people write get on with your life it means they have not been through this it not that easy i don't know what your situation is it sound like you had a very close relationship with your mom and so this will be hard, so Please go to your doctor tell them this they may want you to see some one to talk to and talking about is great weather here or a support group it helps then that is great but please don't ignore these feeling like i said you may need to have a change in meds or up your dose if your taking a high dose then you may need to change the brand good luck and best wishes to you

Answer 10

Have you tried writing your thoughts down in a journal? I always find that helpful. It's cathartic. If you can even create your entries as actual letters to your mom, that might help relieve the pain in your heart.