am i a normal man or just a cold person?

Question

im 17. both my grand grandmas have died. one when i was 15 the other 16 when i went to their furenals i didn't feel that sad. i felt weird like shouldn't i have some kind of feelings? and we got along so well. when i was 16 my friend that i have know since i we were in 1st grade died in a hit and run. we were such good friends. his casket was left open and you could tell were on his head and neck were messed up. i had some cats die some dogs die. but it always seems like i should be sad maybe even crying. but it never appears to me why is this?

Answer 1

i know im the same way

Answer 2

I am now 21. My situation has been similar. All of my grandparents have died in my lifetime, as well as many older family friends. I have had an acquaintance of my age die as well. I was shocked when I expressed little visible grief at their passing. As I have aged and thought more about what it must be like to have children, my feelings have changed somewhat. I wish I could explain that statement in a clearer manner, but I am afraid it is something you will have to wait to experience. What I can tell you is that grief is generally a somewhat selfish feeling. We feel grief proportionally to the amount to which we depended upon the deceased for comfort and happiness. Despite the fact that you may have cared for these people that have passed away, unless they were very involved with providing you with happiness on a daily basis, I would not expect you to feel a great deal of grief. Your title to your question may also be on target. Men in our society are taught not to express their emotions, and in my experience, that involves some sort of lack of recognition in the individual that those emotions are even present. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Do you ever get sad later? or sentimental thinking about them? Do you miss them?

Everyone deals with grief differently....and it also has a lot to do with the way you were raised to deal with it & what your beliefs are. Were you taught or allowed to cry...or did your mother & father also hide their grief?

If you know that your grandmother's are in a better place, then no, I don't think you are cold for not getting overly emotional about their deaths.

I had a grandmother who died on Mother's Day at age 94. She was ready to go, she had lived a long productive life & I honestly thought it was God's mother's day gift to her to take her home to heaven (My belief!) I chose to look at it from a happy, optimistic view. But I was definitely saddened by her death, it was just natural because I knew she'd never be here on earth with us again. :-) But I did not cry, even though, there were people wailing around me.

You might want to talk to a minister, or a professional grief counselor, because if you are questioning why you don't seem to have any emotional feelings about their deaths, then that might just be a signal letting you know there is something wrong.

There again, different people react & deal with things very differently.

Best Wishes!

Answer 4

I don't know enough about you to say that you are cold.....but the fact that you are questioning your lack of feelings when it comes to people dying tells me that you aren't totally "cold". Sadly man in our society are taught NOT to show sadness......"Don't cry like a girl" and other such comments.

Have you tried journaling? Sit in your room with a notebook and write.....write about your Grandmas....what you miss about them, write about your best friend and how pissed off you are that he is gone.

You do need to get it out......do not let it fester and follow you through out your life.

Answer 5

why don't you talk to a professional about this, when my grandparents died i felt the same as you, what happened to me and it may not be the case with you is i was repressing all extremes in my emotions - some childhood trauma did not allow me to feel the loss. but talking to a professional person helps you understand why you are the way you are good luck

Answer 6

i'm not chilly, yet I actually have issues even as it is composed of expressing thoughts. it variety of feels like when I do, many human beings take it as a comic tale, for some unusual reason. Plus, aquarians are an air signal, so we do extra wondering than feeling. it really is now to not say we do not have thoughts, yet they don't seem to be a large element of our lives.

Answer 7

It makes you sad deep down but have no way to show it or don't care much for what you love and miss. I've done that a few times. I feel sad, but don't do anything.

Answer 8

don't worry about it. our instincts tell us that people are supposed to die and carry on. you lost your grandmas when they were ready to go, your friend that died when you were young so you realized at a young age that death is possible. for me, my sister died when i was 10, and at that time i was old enough to have know her and loved her, but i also hadn't realized that someone i loved so dear, could just have gone forever, never to be seen again. thats why it was so hard on me, and she was taken at a young age. i was told that people can't understand why people die before there time. well someone said to me, maybe she was meant to be here for only thirteen years. that made enough sense to me. hope i helped.

Answer 9

Maybe you just don't express your emotions that way. And that's cool. Maybe it will change and maybe it won't. But I think it's better to be honest about not feeling much of anything than to fake an emotion that simply isn't there.

Answer 10

I don't cry very often either. I think some people just show sadness in differnt ways. You still think of them so that shows you care.

Answer 11

how many seas must a man cross, before they call him a man.
you ice cold killa dog.
aint no use crying.
coz grandmas and friend aint the important people in life.