what would u do if you were in my situation?

Question

am 23
we stay togeather all of us, my brother(24) and my parents

my father is too irritating, he has high BP,
he doesnt talk to anyone at home neither my mom nor my brother not even my sis(who left cos of him)

he only talks to me tough. i cant leave him cos he's too old to live on his own, but hes pissed of everyone at home
my sis left cos of him
now my bro will also leave along with my mom cos of him again

please dont suggest talking to him cos its not in anybodys hands to talk to him at all

what should i do?

am sorry i put it wrong he doesnt talk tough to me

i meant he only talks to me and no one else

Answer 1

Hi, why don't you try bringing him to a doctor and getting prescription medicine to lower his blood pressure, then hopefully he will calm down a bit and be more bearable. Also what about giving him something relaxing to do, to keep him busy. Give him some peacefull music.
Or if none of these will help then maybe you should put him in a nursing home.

Answer 2

I would first try to get him into a home of some kind. If that is not possible then I would have to say you must try to get out on your own as soon as you can. I have a friend that is in this same situation. He is 31 now and lives with his new bride and his mother under the same roof. At some point you need to be get out and start to live your own life. Maybe move in with a friend and visit your father everyday. It is hard to abandon your family, yet without a proper support group for the both of you, you can't be expected to bear the whole burden yourself, no one should have to do that. The more I think about it, you should get your mother and your brother and sister to arrange a schedule of times to care for your father, it sounds as if they can't stand to live with him, but they should at least assist in caring for him, because you can't do it alone.

Answer 3

Does he know he's Bi-Polar? If so is he on medications? If not does he accept that he's bi-polar? Questions aside...I know you love your family...but as an adult you need to start your own life. If he needs individual care then he needs to be in a hospital that can care for him. It may be a hard decision but if you are worried about having a career and family of your own then you need to take into consideration that those may have to be put on hold when caring for a "hard to deal" with family member. Not too mention some BP disorders can be considered very dangerous...are you prepared to take on the liability if he should lash out at others in violent ways?

Good luck, I hope all works out well for you and your family.

Answer 4

Well sorry to hear about that.Anyway I think mabey the members of your family has hurt him in the past and it really bothers him now.Sometimes when people get old they tend to get grumpy and irrating.Talking to him won't make any sense,but don't leave like the members of your family.I mean he's still your father.Stay so your father will know he has someone who cares for him and mabey he might change.Mabey he just needs sometime alone from some of the family members.Hear what!do as much as you can for him and mabey he don't have much time again to live so bear with him and you can pray for him...Best of luck and God bless!! '_'

Answer 5

You have an obligation to respect your parents. You don't have to live with them. Don't let them guilt-trip you into thinking you have to stay there and take the abuse. You don't have to. Move out of the house, get a good job, and contribute financially to make sure that they have a place to live and enough to eat, and find nursing care if that's what he needs. Catholic Community Services often can arrange for a low-cost or free elderly home nursing care. Talk to a social worker to find out what to do.

Answer 6

If your mother is leaving, then trust her and me, when I tell you he can and will take care of himself alone.

He will not like it and will be as mad alone as he is with people around.

If he ever figures out that its him who has to settle down, then your mother will make the decision as to go back with him or not.

You , however are a grown child of these people and need to find your own way. Visit often after you leave, even if he is grumpy, just make sure that you do not stay long. Visit for longer if he is being civil.

Answer 7

get the heck out. He has no right talking to you tough. You are mature enough to leave. He has no right to be pissed off at you our your mom, and show him what it is like to be alone by himself. I congradulate your familey for leaving him. All he does is make you guys miserible, so leave!

Answer 8

What you really should do is see why he acts like he does.There is probably something deep inside of him making him act that way.In the meantime you should be trying to make his life more pleasurable since his own family is trying to leave him!


Hope this helps!!!

Answer 9

you must sit down with him and explain that his actions are intolerable. as a result, the famaly is leaving and unable to cope. make it clear and concise to him that his behaviour has severe consequences on you all. admit that you are falling down emotionally because of him and if he can't see it/or refuses to help fix it---you will seek professional help for him. do not pose any threats. if u care about him, get him help! good luck.

Answer 10

I would bring it to his attention, the situation he is causing for himself, and let him know that your the only one left to take care of him and that if he doesn't change his ways that you'll leave too!!