My husband and his children are going threw the worse case of this I have ever even heard of. We are constantly in court fighting over her countless alligations. Is there any hope? Any advice at all?
2006-07-07 08:14:39 · 7 answers · asked by lovingmom7670 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
This woman has already turned one son against his dad and now is working on the other 3. If you could hear some of the ungodly things she says to these kids it would simply break your heart.
2006-07-07 08:24:57 · update #1
Well I havent had success yet, but here are some things to do.
protect yourself:
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING... parenting time, what time you pick them up, drop them off, what you do with them, keep very accurate records, times dates.
carry a DIGITAL voice recorder around, these keep track of dates and times, and are preferred by law enforcement people. record confrontations with the ex, (not phone conversations unless you check with your state government for its legality)
The best thing that you can do is to love the children, and talk to them. Make sure that they know that they are loved. Make sure that you explain the difference between right and wrong. but be careful so as to not desparage the other parent.
I am going through the same thing and I havent won yet.. but im keeping my head up, and just enjoying my kids when i get them.
2006-07-07 08:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jonny B 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hey, we must be in the same boat! My husband is going through the same thing. It was a painful decision, but he decided not to see his girls until everything was settled. It actually is easier for the girls not to be put in the middle.
You can't do this in the middle of a custody battle. He dropped custody when we could no longer afford an attorney.
Now we do talk to his daughters but only via email, so that everything is documented (reduce false accusations and word twisting).
Him and I are a lot less stressed now. We really could not see another way out. Being the non-custodial parent, he had no rights or power to stop her from placing them in the middle of the tug of war. So he just let go of his end of the rope....
I hope you can get through this with a little less suffering than we had. I had never been so frustrated and stressed in my entire life.
2006-07-07 15:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this is not easy. Eventually the courts will grow tired of it when it is endless from her part and it will back fire on her.
In the meantime seek counseling for real. It does help. And find a great support system. There are some good groups on yahoo. Single parent groups etc. You just have to search for them There you can meet other people that have been through what you are going through and can offer advise and support.
Sometimes even just having a shoulder to cry on helps.
I wish I could offer more...
But good luck!
2006-07-07 15:20:10 · answer #3 · answered by foolnomore2games 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The attorneys win. The attorneys make money. You lose money, time and it is emotionally draining. Go to mediation. Request mediation (alternative dispute resolution). You must work together for the good of the children. fighting will not help them in the long run. Try to ask the judge for mediation.
2006-07-07 15:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is hope...be strong and patient. You need to keep a log, everytime something happens...write it down with date and who all was involved, what was said and by whom. Try to do everything the judge asks, even if its something you disagree with. And keep reciepts when you have to get something for the kids over and above what would be normal. If you are trying for custody, then make your home as available as possible. If you have custody then just keep it going and safe. Enlist all people who know your problem and bring them as witnesses. Go to your church and speak to the minister. Ask if he offers counseling and get it for the whole family. If you are the step parent, do your best to be close to the kids, if they respect you then they will love you. Ex-spouses have a way of trying to turn the kids against the new step parent. Thats childish...none of this is about the kids when it comes to going to court. Its all about revenge.Be strong....it will work in your favor if you abide by the court and show them your the better adult.
A little story.....I have a daughter who is 22 years old, she has a 4 year old son (the light of my life). She was married, short story..he left. She had no place to go, the baby was 3 months old. I brought them home to live and loved my grandchild being there. It was amazing watching them together, and he flourished. My son in law decided he didnt want to be married anymore and disappeared during a tornado storm. We all thoguth something happened to him, filed a missing persons report,the search was on, we were so worried. Three days later, he is found with another girl. He just walked out of my baby's and grandbaby's lifes. I told him they were better off, that I would take care of them and he was worthless. I swore I would let my grandson know just what kind of dad he was, and we would show him what real love was all about....well...fast forward.....my daughter...decides life is hard and shew wants it easier....she steals my checkbook and is found in Kentucky in a hotel room with some friends partying, baby right beside her.....I press charges and take the baby. She spends 3 months in jail, gets out.....turns 21...finds the bar scene...drops the baby off at his dad's.....(yes he is in and out of his life)....the dad and new step mom come to me...we talk...I take the baby for a few days, then they keep him....I get cancer....can't keep him full time.....my daughter is gone....steals someone elses's checkbook...gets caught...is arrested....in jail...gets 2 years....Dad has the baby now full time.....I get him every other weekend.....I go to court for this man that I swore would never be a part of my grandson's life...He stepped up to the plate and became the man he needed to be. I can stop there anytime to check on Keegan(grandson) and he is fine..I get him on holidays..take him on vacations...I even have cookouts at my house and they are part of my family now....Dad and new stepmom have 2 more kids...and to them...I'm mamaw....and I always will be......I am grateful for her coming into my ex son-in-laws life and becoming the mom my grandson needed.....I do..one day...hope my daughter will grow up, and realize what she is missing out on...but until that happens....I thank GOD for his stepmom.....good luck..and I will pray for you.
2006-07-07 15:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a website with some success stories.
http://www.parentalalienation.com/Successstories.html
I hope this helps.
Good luck!
2006-07-07 15:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to catch her doing something illegal
2006-07-07 15:29:25 · answer #7 · answered by jennafur626 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋