Wife is giving me restrictions on my beer??

Question

She gets upset if I have more then 2 beer a week. Yes many yrs ago, I used to drink 12 or more beers a week, and sometimes 8 beers a night with the guys at a sports bar. But I'm drinking lot less and it's nice to relax with a beer or whiskey sometimes. How do I tell her I'm not going to get DRUNK!!!

I'm not over-weight, I play hockey, golf, ski, inline skate. I'm 5'8" 160 lbs and athletic.

Answer 1

LOL, your wife's funny. But that's love...she might be more worried about the example your setting your kids.
Be happy that you can HAVE BEER.

Answer 2

My suggestion is to tell her how her limitations make you FEEL. People can't argue with your feelings. If it was me, I'd say something like this in a calm way at a relaxed time:

"Sweetheart, I'd like to tell you how I'm feeling about something. Is this a good time? (If yes, proceed; if no, pin her down to an exact time when you can reconvene).

I heard you say I should not have more than two beers per week. It is my thought that this limit comes out of concern for my health and safety. However, I end up feeling like a little boy instead of the man I am. I feel controlled and not valued for being able to make my own decisions. I also feel irresponsible when it seems as though someone else feels the need to monitor my drinking. In truth, I drink so much less than I ever used to. I am now at a place where I can drink and self-regulate better than ever. Therefore I am sharing that I no longer wish to feel this way, so I am respectfully not going to go by this limitation. However, please be assured that I in no way intend to over indulge in drinking.

I believe that if you see me getting drunk more than a few times, that would be a great time to speak up. I would appreciate it under those circumstances, just as I would speak up to you.


Thanks for loving me and caring a lot about me. Can we put this matter to rest?"


Remember, love is not about controlling the other person or being controlled. You have the right to respect others and not to be disrespected. Also, you can do what you want as an adult as long as it is not harmful to the people around you and you are being responsible.

Social drinking at home when you are not driving or operating machinery is legal and fine. Since alcohol can be addictive and a depressant, it is important to be a good self-regulator and to have a back-up plan (the drunk thing) built in.

No go enjoy a beer or two safely!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I for one can understand full well where she is coming from. Look at your passed!!!! I know you think she should not hold that against you, but personally I can't blame her for the way she is now and you shouldn't either. She just does not want you to be like you was!!! I had a boyfriend that drank like you did and he slowed way down too. But EVERY-TIME he opens up a beer, I cringe, always wondering how many he is going to drink before he stops. It may be just one and it might be more. How long did she put up with you while you was drinking beer like you did????? Now it is up to you to learn to get a life, you don't even need the beer or WHISKEY (which is worse) to relax!!!!!!!!! Do you do your drinking at home now or do you still do it with the guys. I can fully understand her 100%. Why don't you start spending more time with her and leave the beer and the whiskey alone. I don't drink any of that and I can relax just fine!!

Answer 4

well i see where she is comming from and i will tell you why. my father drank alot when i was young , im talking about a 12 pack a day or more for as many years as i can remember. wich of course you can only immagine what my mother went threw with him and how he treated us. then he went and got help with this over seas program to get clean, he did for 13 years, and then all this sudden about 3 years ago every time him and my mother ran into any money problems, or anything at all that had to be talked about he would get all upset and go start buying beer and hiding it in the garage, he thought that we did not know what he was doing. he is the type of guy that does not like to talk about anything unless he feels like it and so when my mother wanted to talk about how to fix certian problems wether it was with money or anything at all he would shut down on her and refuse to talk about it wich started problems. so anyways he drunk pills an beer and we had to take him to the hospital and stuff like that. they took him to a hospital for a 3 day hold right before christmas. still he drinks and it is now been three years he is in the habbit again. so your wife is just scared, she does not want to see you go down that road again, and there is realy no way to even say that you wont drink like that agian. my dad despized beer when he stopped drinking but here he is drinking agian. you have to know that being an alcoholic wich you are, is something that can come back . even though you drank heavy before and now just a little you are stil considered an alcoholic. so think what is more important to you, drinking and taking a risk that it could turn out worse or your family. she is just scared, and she has a right to be. sit and talk with her and decide what you think is best and tell her why. i just hope you choose your family. good luck.

Answer 5

dude i totally identify

its your existential right to have 2 beers a week, actually the beer settlement with me and my dearest is i can buy a six pack every week and a whole one on a holiday (although i rarely drink more than 3 in one go)

try this: find a hippy or some college kids and get some grass. come home stoned out of your mind and you'll probably get threatened with divorce or at least no sex for the rest of the month if your wife is any more similar to mine than the initial premise. I know this is a large price to pay for a couple beers a week, but you'll walk away from the pot episode with a green card for all the leinenkugels you want, or at least a six pack a week.

Answer 6

yeah but how do you act when you have a few too many? Could that be the problem? Not to mention the fact that your wife is an adult and shouldent be ABLE to or even Want to " Tell you what to do." A few beers a week is actually good for you but if you develop beer-balls or liquid courage or "Instant a-hole just add alcohol," maybe you should just consider cutting back via your own common sense and not have to be told to do anything?
Moderation is the key to life and all of its pleasures.

Answer 7

well where i come from is pretty normal to have a drink every single day. I dont know why she is so upset about it i mean, if you where getting drunk it would be ok for her to ask you to stop but 2 beers a week is nothing.
She doesnt have the right to tell you not to drink 2 beers so just tell her that you know it bothers her but that it shouldnt.

Answer 8

Be a man, not a pansy ***, for goodness sakes! A man is entitled to have a beer or two a night after a long day at work.

She needs to relax.

Perhaps she has alcoholic's in her family and she is scared. Talk to her. Find out what is really the problem, because I am doubting its not unnecessarily a couple lousy beers.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

If it truly worries her and you respect her feelings then dont drink. What else do you enjoy drinking instead of beer? What would she perfer you drinking that can be subsituted for beer? Two beers wont even give you a buzz so why waste your money and risk going into a relaps. If its going to reck your relationship with someone you truly love then why bother doing it. You sacrafice things in marriage and this looks like one of those things you will have to sacrafice. Ex: I worked at a job where I was the only woman working with a bunch of men. Can you imagine the thoughts going through my husbands head. I made good money at my job and enjoyed working there but my husband didnt like me being around all those guys. He asked me to leave my job. It was tough after working there two years but I did leave my job for him. I am with my kids all day now and do miss working a part time job but if my husbands mind is free of worries then I am happy too. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Unfortunately, she must have a bad taste in her mouth when it comes to your past drinking habits. It is probably a knee-jerk-reaction on her part - not wanting you to drink in fear that you might start to go back to your old habits of drinking too much and going out to party without her.

Talk to her about her reasonings - if she will even talk about it with you. Don't get mad or accuse her of trying to control your life. I have a strong hunch that she loves you and just doesn't want to revisit bad memories.

She might also have a history of being around people who drink too much - i.e. her family, friends, etc... This can cause many people to be completely intolerant of alcohol whatsoever.

My husband does not drink at all - but I like drink occasionally (once a month) or enjoy a great bottle of wine with my parents - and he used to give me hell for it. His Dad was a severe alcoholic and that's why he didn't like it. But after we talked about it, he is okay with me enjoying alcohol once in a while.

Remember, your wife loves you very much - otherwise she wouldn't have married you. Cut her a little slack and find out where the issue truly lies.

Answer 11

Maybe she thinks that you will turn into a drunk. So she is just thinking about you. In my opinion lay off on the drinking for awhile to see what happens. And on a weekend have a few beers.