How can I train my dog to manage my investment portfolio?

Question

I saw it done on Dr. Phil.

Answer 1

First he has to learn to compute figures, Then graduate from a good school...Then he need to study, study, study Wall-Street Journal.
After about 3 weeks, he should be able to handle your finances competently.

Answer 2

First I would get the stock pages from the newspaper. . . since you are watching Dr. Phil I will explain what a newspaper is.

A newspaper is a document printed in most major cities daily small towns tend to be weekly. In a section known as the business section most major papers print ALL stocks in a certain exchange.

Now if you are the lay these pages out on the floor, you can then have you dog, do his "business" on the business pages.

DO NOT purchase stocks that have Number 2 on them. If the dog does number one on it, I would HOLD, but not BUY.

Now it is very important, if you dog doesn't have flees, get some.

For you will ONLY purchase stocks that have little flees on them.

This is the only way to be sure you dog picks the right stocks.

Answer 3

Dr Phil is a moron. And lemme just say if you saw it on Dr. Phil, then you shoulda learned it!!

Answer 4

No training required; he already knows. You just have to figure out how to get him to tell you. The method described in the answer before mine would probably work quite well.

Answer 5

Woof Woof

Answer 6

I don't know, but when you figure it out, let me know. I need some help with my personal finances, maybe I could train my dog to do that.

Answer 7

Ask Dr.Phil

Answer 8

well, when your dogs starts writting essays and shows you its master degree in finance, i will advise you to trust him without any holding back!!!!

Answer 9

Didn't they explain how it was done on the show?

Answer 10

with a lot of spare time, dog treats, and patience...i really doubt that is possible....but GOOD LUCK and if it works please tell the rest of the world how you did it.