issues
1.) extremely heartbroken going on 6 months. Ist love ended badly, can't stop thinking about her and the good moments. Maybe just recently finaly gave up hope of reconcilation.(she has had no contact w/me in all this time.
2.) went ahead with a 4 months notice to quit my job which happened 2 day's after final break w/ex. Started new business in this emotinal trauma. The business is pretty much over and I need to find something else, as in career- which would be challanging under any conditions but in my state now- I'm having a very hard time.
3.) in debt for the first time- and things are getting worse.
I know I need to get busy but am feeling paralyzed w/ no relief. I get a little relief w/exercise but am so drained most of the time it's really hard to get going. I'm at the point were I avoid social sitations and the inevitable 'how are you doing?' as I am to real to BS my way out of those situations. Also I know I'm a big bummer right now.
Plz don't suggest meds. Thx
2006-07-07 07:26:07 · 11 answers · asked by MeaCulpa 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Thanks so much for the help guys!
I do feel better and it's awesome to be reminded of the good, caring people out there!
2006-07-07 11:58:37 · update #1
DON'T CUT YOURSELF...
1) Allow yourself to think about her for a little bit...everyday...
than you have to put your foot down...and say ok...I miss you...I am hurt...but I need to deal with other things...
2) Starting a new business is always a high risk...if you can find a job for now great...but keep looking for a job that you are going to like... there is nothing worse than being depressed...and hating your job...don't add any more stress...
3) There are different ways to get out of debt...if you are think of going bankrupt...search for a real good bankruptcy lawyer...if you are not thinking of bankruptcy...than seek some financial advice...you are not the first...and believe me you are not the last person that is in debt...
Don't focus all your energy...on things that you can't change...focus on the things that you can...
Having a broken heart...takes time to heal...I know you probably don't want to hear that...but if six months have passed and no contact...than let it go...it has been two long...a lot can happen in six months...you just take the experience as a lesson...
Reminded yourself that you are still alive...and that you lived without before you meet her...you can live again...
You feel paralzyed, but you are alive...you deserve it to yourself to move on...also get support from your family & friends...
If you find yourself thinking about her...just watch some cartoons...a funny movie...reach out for support...
Take care & good luck
2006-07-07 08:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by think 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Well, I can sympothize with you, because I've been there. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 16 and later, at age 22, anxiety disorder( I'm 36 now ). I've been on meds, $1000's of therapy and 2 stays in a special facility.
I suggest you see a professional and let them rule out any chemical imbalance first of all, because meds are usually needed for that. Personally, the meds made me worse. The hospital made me realize I wasn't so bad off. The therapy worked best for me. I have had alot of bad things happen in my life and some were pretty traumatic. I had to learn they weren't my fault and to stop harboring the blame and get on with my life. I still get depressed, but have learned different tools to deal with it. You need to surround yourself with people who really care for you instaed of alienating them, they'll help you through this. Try to stay busy. Think positive thoughts, even if it is sometimes hard. If you are a spiritual person, pray and have faith. God doesn't close a door without opening a window. If you want to get through this, you can. All things happen for a reason. Something better is out there, you just have to have some faith and believe it's going to be ok.
2006-07-07 08:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by crazytxbartender 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a girl for 4 years, and she broke up with me randomly one day, and started to date a guy in her kickboxing class, I will never be the same person, nor ever want to love again, every day I THOUGHT how depressed and wanted to just die or something horrible to happen so I'd get my mind off it. But I got up from being kicked down...the real sucsess comes from failing in the first place, and then rise up from that and be better and stronger then you were before...those are the people that sucseed.
You still are alive, go through these steps. They will help, I promise.
Its hard to get over someone, but cry it helps, think of the BAD times you had and everything she did WRONG, dont think of the good times, that **** never works..just makes you more depressed caz now you wont share that with her anymore.
Close your eyes. Realize what is going on, face the facts, be upset and cry, then see where you at now, and to cry and be depressed does nothing for you and move on.
1) Reorganize-Get ride of EVERYTHING that makes you think of her, and change around your room,! buy some new cloths, get a hair cut.
2)Single- Take advantage of now all you have to worry about is YOU, start to find hobbies like model planes or poker. Join a club at your park district or volunteer at a clinic for kids with cancer or disabilites
3)Dont have sex with your ex or kiss her. After you complete 1 and 2, she will wonder why your doing so well and not depressed and missing her. Try to ignore her until you can in your head think and feel what its like if you hung out with her and started to be friends
4)Start up again to date
5)Open up after you know its time again to love.
2006-07-07 08:05:09 · answer #3 · answered by Ry M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dang tuff one, it is! But I sorta been there done that also, so from experiance of a survivor:
You probably thought about offing yourself, if you did or didnt, seek some help, it really does help to talk it out with a proffesional, get some feedback and you get to hear yourself explaining, or trying to explain it and if you listen close you will see better. Are usually some phsycologists at local Drug Rehab/Mental Health Facilities.
Live in the moment, there is no past, and the future is unwritten, so live each moment to the fullest and start ejoying the little stuff.
Breathe in and Exhale, is pretty simple to say/type, I know, but is a start.
2006-07-07 07:41:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try counseling...it really works. Sounds like you have cut everyone pretty much off and you need to reconnect. Talking things out is the greatest form of therapy. In doing so you will find that you are not alone, plenty of people are in the same or worse shape that you are. Perhaps going back to school will help you find a new career and a new girlfriend. I do know that doing nothing will produce nothing.
If exercises helps...try a little yoga and exercise your mind. Please don't rule out medication, you may have a temporary hormonal imbalance that could be corrected with short-term medication. Seek professional help of some sort, please. You can choose to get better or worse...your choice, now move!
2006-07-07 07:37:37 · answer #5 · answered by gmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have thought about the break the past six months, and now it is time for you to move on. Don't waste your time thinking she might come back because if she hasn't contacted you at all in the last six months she won't now. Just keep you head high, and work to fix your problems. As for the debt call and talk with the creditors, and tell them you will give them a set amount each month and stick to it. You'll be fine.
2006-07-07 07:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by Crazychick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer to #1 is you need to find another love and move on. I know it's gonna take some major healing time for you, but if it makes you feel this bad you need to do something about it. Your answer to #2 is you need to start your own business in whatever you want and go with it. This works because you can give yourself some break time when you need it. The answer to #3 is you need to get a loan or a grant to fund yourself. I hope it works out for you!!!
2006-07-07 07:34:50 · answer #7 · answered by jebria2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is u ,the only person that can change his life, and start a new happy life again!
if u dont want to, then its useless to even ask and answer this question.
u know this better, ppl adjust themselves very well in new conditions and new life. i know u loved ur gf alot. u ended and got depressed,
so wht results u get?
depression , lost ur good job, cant decide 2 wht to do in life .
dont spoil ur whol life with thinking about past.
its normal to be sad about it for sometime, but dont let this sad thing to let u down and spoil ur life.
start a new life from now.
do not just think about ur job, thats imporatant but be more with ppl, and socialize more , go out more with friends.go swimming.do whtevr makes u feel better
but come on just do sth.
we first shud love ourselves that can love the other too.
pay attention to ur health .
thats the most imporatnt thing first.
take care
2006-07-07 07:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by ___ãÃâãhà 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know what there way too many different adult males available that you would extremely like who would date you at present and be a actual boyfriend that you'll waste time playing video games with this guy. you already know what i propose? the purely element that is composed of my concepts is truly disrespectful of a woman's emotions.
2016-10-14 05:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by jesteriii 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thx for posting this question. I felt depressed until I read about ur situation. My problem is a lot less worse than urz. I should be grateful. Things could be a lot worse.
2006-07-07 07:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by funkymonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋