My mother says I'm too picky (re: men) - is it wrong to wait for Mr. Perfect?

Question

I'm 34, divorced, 2 kids, and great job. I date all the time, turned down 3 proposals so its not like I can't find anyone... They're just not quite good enough. When is it time to settle?

Answer 1

how many times has your mom been married?

how happy is/was she in her relationships?

Answer 2

Considering you already have had the life of being married and currently have kids, you have time to be picky because you know better and know more of what you want. Of course you want someone to spend the rest of your days with, but you probably don't want to go through another divorce so I can see why you're being so picky. That's great that you're dating a lot and seeing what is out there. Also you need to be picky because the guys you date will involve your kids and you don't want to pick just any guy that could be there step dad. Don't rush and have fun. Always be open minded and maybe give guys that you would never give a chance to more of a shot. Good luck!

Answer 3

Honey, you will never find prince charming if you never kiss a few frogs. Think about if your expectations are too high. Why are these expectations in a man so important to you? Are they really? Or are you just trying to prevent repeating mistakes from the past?
There is no one perfect out there. There are good decent ones though, but they may take a little time to find or just pop right up on you. And another thing. It has been my experience in our age group, men have come around finally to wanting to settle down and are quicker to propose than in their twenties. It probably has a lot to do with them getting settled into their careers first, getting established before throwing on too much at one time.

Hey, you will know the one when you see him though.

Answer 4

Men it seems itsn't the problem. I would guess that you're trying to perfect your life first by perfecting yourself. You might be trying to provide a stable and perfectly functional home for your children and if you're close to achieving that, then finding a man to fit perfectly into the puzzle will be extremely hard.

Another possibility is that you want to be with someone that can you can have allot of fun with, but with two kids, you know this kind of person just doesn't fit your situation, so you will either have to wait till they are old enough to not mind, you will have to settle for something less than what you want but that fits what you want in your family, or you can go out with the person that makes you happy and just balance fun and family, which is best, since a happy mom is a good mom.

Answer 5

Your are not being too picky.

There are plenty of people out in the world - and a lot of them are single men. If you have to go through 10 or 20 more, it is better to wait than to make a(nother) mistake...especially where there are children involved.

A lot of people presume to know what they are looking for and miss out on some good opportunities as a result of this narrowmindedness. For example, I am a single 33-year-old man who had always ruled out the possibility of dating divorced older women with children. I just didn't think that was the kind of relationship I would be happy in. But I was recently in a relationship with someone who fit that bill and we had a great time together. I had to open up my mind a little bit to let her in and am thankful that I did - even if we later realized we could not make long-term partners.

Today we are great friends, and more importantly, my field of potential partners is a lot greater. As is hers - before dating me she'd never considered being with someone shorter who earned less money.

It sounds like you know the type of person you are looking for, and I am certain they are out there. I also recommend broadening your search instead of narrowing it - you may be surprised what you find...

Answer 6

You should never settle. But you do have to realize that there is no such thing as a Mr Perfect. Once you realize that it may be easier to accept those proposals. But don't do it out of a fear that it may be the last one you get. Don't do it because your mother says to. Do it because you are ready for another marriage and because you love the guy. Otherwise you are just going to find yourself right back here ??? years down the road.

Answer 7

It's not wrong, it's just a waste of time...perfection doesn't exist in we imperfect humans. However, that doesn't mean you ever should "settle"...just make sure your desires and expectations for a partner are realistic.

There's nothing wrong with being single, and life can be extremely full and satisfying so don't worry about getting involved with someone just to not be alone...s'better to be alone, than with someone and unhappy or lonely.

Settling will not satisfy you in the long run, and imagine how you'd feel if you knew someone had "settled" for you? Not very flattering at all!

Answer 8

There is no Mr. Perfect. But, what makes you think you must be married? Your first one didn't work out. If you have a great job and earn enough money, concentrate on raising your kids and enjoy your freedom. Why load yourself down with someone else's baggage, not to mention, impose that baggage on your children. Take a hint from a woman with a similar background. I raised a daughter, alone, sent her to college and never remarried after the first time. There's an old saying. "If it don't fit, don't force it."

Answer 9

no its not wrong at all to want to look up at a man and feel his warmth and know that hes the one that u will spend the rest of ur life with but on the other side don't just toss away every man because u don't like the same things as u or for whatever reason keep searching for the right one and don't settle for less just because u feel times running out because u have all the time in the world to find a soul mate.

Answer 10

You don't have to settle, but make sure you aren't setting your expectations too high that no one can meet them. There is no such thing as Mr. Perfect-everyone has flaws and things that will get on your nerves! Remember to put your kids' emotions into perspective, too-if they are get close to someone and start looking at him as a father-type figure then *poof* he's out of the picture, they can get very confused and not understand how to handle relationships when they're older. I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 11

Dear
Sorry to pinch your ego. Your mom is right. From your resume I do not see you have many option (34, divorced, 2 kids, regardless of your job). There is no Mr. perfect, so settle for Mr. right. Dating is different than marrying. I date many women, but few are eligble to marry. So, just because you date many, does not mean many will marry you.
Good luck