Funniest Joke Gets 10 Points!!!!?

Question

give me anything blondes, rednecks, anything, as long as it's funny.

Good start but i need more jokes

give me more!!!

Answer this too: Why did the blonde get fired from the MM factory?

I've heard most of these but most of them are really good.

deal....steering wheel...LMAO that rhymes and it's so funny!!!

funny but nasty

whoever answers right gets the ten points if noone is funniest:
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory?

still looking for jokes

If theres no more jokes I'll choose right now. I'll wait ten minutes, if I get another one, I'll wait ten more after each additional answer if not I'll decide right then.

Answer 1

I know the answer to your joke, actually there's two.

The blonde got fired for throwing out the "W"s or she got fired for trying to alphabetize the MMs

And here's my joke: What does Michael Jackson and a Nintendo Game Cube have in common?

They both are made of plastic and are turned on by little boys!!!

LMAOOL
ROFLMAO

Answer 2

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Answer 3

I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me "what do you do at a red light?" I said, I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio… (Bill Braudis).

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you. (A. Whitney Brown)

If I ever have twins, I'd use one for parts. (Steven Wright)

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five." "Fifty five?" says Saint Peter. "No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two." "How’s you get that?" the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter: "We added up your time sheets."

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot. (Ellen Degeneres)

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game. (Bill Dwyer)

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead. (Laura Kightlinger)

Mario Andretti has retired from race car driving. That's a good thing. He's getting old. He ran his entire last race with his left blinker on. (Jon Stewart)

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.. He said, "No hablo ingles." (Ronnie Shakes)


Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. "Turn the lake into beer," he says. The genie goes "Poof!" and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, "So what do you think?" The other guy says, "You jerk. Now we've got to piss in the boat."

A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the priest that he can't be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is. "I promised not to tell!" he says. "Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher's daughter?" the preist asks. "No, and I said I wouldn't tell." "Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?" "No, and I still won't tell!" 'Was it Mary Francis, the baker's daughter?" "No," says the boy. 'Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months." Outside, the boy's friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, but three good leads."

I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough... (Brian Kiley)

Answer 4

New Rules In Hell


A man dies and goes to Hell, where he is greeted by the Devil.

The man looks around and sees no fire or people being tortured, nothing uncomfortable, and asks, "where is all the horrible things that Hell has to offer me? I might as well get started now".

The Devil says, " Things have changed down here".

He asks the man, "Do you like to drink alcohol?"

"Oh, Yes!" replied the man, with a big smile.

"Well you are in luck", Says the Devil, "because on Mondays there is drinking all day, anything that you want"

"Wow, that's sounds great", the man says.

"How about sex? Do you like sex?" the Devil asks.

The man replys, "Love sex, just never could get enough".

The Devil replys, "Well we will take care of that little problem, we have sex all day on Tuesday".

The smile continues to grow wider on the mans face.

He is then asked if he had any homosexual tendancies.

"Absolutely not!", he says emphatically, "I can't stand queers!"

The Devil smile at him and says, "You are really going to hate Wednesdays then."

Answer 5

A blond and her boyfriend are at make-out peak and they are kissing and rubbing on each other. So the boyfriend ask "do you want to go to the back seat?" And the blond answers no. so they keep kissing and hugging and it starts to heat up so the boyfriend asks again "do u want to go to the back seat?" and again the blond asnwers no. so they stay in the front seat and now clothes are coming off and pants are down so the boyfried asks again " do u want to go to the back seat?" and again the blond says no.So now the boyfriend is mad and asks"why the hell not?" and she answers "Cause i want to stay up here with u

Answer 6

1. Did you hear what happened to the blonde that ended up in a fullbody cast raking leaves???

She fell out of the tree!!!


2. How do you circumsize a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin!

3. What do you call a dog with no legs??????

It doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't coming!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

A man buys a snow cone and a suppository, a few minutes later another man asks him, "why are you licking that suppository" and the man answers, "well then where did I put the snow cone?"

Answer 8

whats invisible and stinks like crap?









black man in the dark.







wanna know whats funny?








knowing a mexican thats legal in USA.








a man asks a man,"are you gellin?"




guy replies,"im so gellin im gellin like magellon."






he asks another man, "are you gellin?"






man replies,"im gellin like a felon."







then the man asks the last man in the room, "are you gellin?"







man says, "no (sadly)"







right before he asks "why" he notices the man he just asked, is in a wheelchair without any legs....


MORAL:Dr. Scholls isn't for handicaps

Answer 9

pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel sewn onto the front of his pants.

bartender says "hey, what's the deal with the steering wheel?"

pirate replies, "ARRRRRR, it's driving me nuts!"

Answer 10

Q. How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand.