Ok... I have been with my fiance for four years now and everything started off alright.. a couple years into the relationship things just didnt seem right... everything would go wrong. I broke up with him because he wasnt serious about anything. So he left for about two weeks didnt know where he was or how to get ahold of him. I finally seem him after that we talked n got back together then he did it again so I told him that it wasnt working that he really needed to straighten out his act because I love him too much to give up on him now hes in the Navy and gone until the middle of August it just seems like there are a lot of road bumps throughout our whole relationship. I just don't know what to do.. I love him so much but I don't think hes serious.
2006-07-07 06:20:59 · 38 answers · asked by Heather L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He tells me after he comes back that the thought of losing me was too much pressure on him that whatever anger or stress he has or had he didnt want to take it out on me.
2006-07-07 08:58:51 · update #1
Reltionships take work.
2006-07-07 06:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by The_Answerer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main reason why you two broke up was because he wasn't serious. There could be a problem that is going on his life to the point that he won't be serious with you. It is up to you to get to the bottom of the situation and find out why. He might be the type of person that will not commit, or whatever other reason he has as to why he won't take you seriously. Talk to him and be honest. Tell him the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Hear what he has to say and make a decision. Do what is best for you. Good luck.
2006-07-07 06:25:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lady S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patient. U have been with him or four years, dont give up on him. Plus hes in the navy now, he will learn a lot in there. being serious is going to be one of those lessons. maybe he just needs time to grow up when it comes to relationships. talk with as much as u can so u can understand how he feels and y he acts the way he does. If he doesnt straighten up then u should start seeing other people it will help u ttake ur mind off him if he doesnt get serious.
2006-07-07 06:31:16 · answer #3 · answered by friendlyintx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the expression, "You can't go home, again"? It's really the same rules that apply here ... you can rekindle a relationship ... but it won't be as good, it will have changed.
You broke up for a reason, honey, but right now all you can remember are the good times. Force yourself to remember the *bad* times and maybe it will help forget him.
Don't be a three-time loser with this guy ... you gave it a couple shots and it didn't work. Cut your losses and move on.
Find yourself a guy who is willing to make a committment, and who is willing to share his life with you. By "share", I'm talking about someone who knows how to give, knows how to take, and knows that a balance of the two is essential.
The guy you've been with, I think, has the "take" part down ... but has a little trouble with the "give" and "balancing" parts. You don't need that.
Find a new guy, honey ... you deserve it.
2006-07-07 06:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to read the book titled..."He's just not that into you" It is a good book. You can get it at Books a Million or Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/068987474X/102-4414758-8528935?v=glance&n=283155 As you can see you can also purchase it over the internet.
It shouldn't be that hard everyday to be in a relationship.
If you are having heartache more than bliss and contentment then he isn't for you. No matter what hard times he is going thru or where he is at. If he loves you he would find you in China.
Listen to your gut feeling.... you wrote "a couple of years into the relationship things just didn't seem right" Your self :) is trying to tell you something. Knock, knock ,but will you listen let a lone answer? Good Luck.
2006-07-07 07:26:57 · answer #5 · answered by Jozieann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he going away to the Navy will give him a clue. You've stuck by him for his long, so maybe he will realize that. All the bumps in the road could lead to a good life together. Theres always struggles to go through in life and with the man you love. I don't think ou should give up on him just yet. But if he leaves you again I would call it quits. There is only so much you can put up with. Good luck!!
2006-07-07 06:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by lillady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are a lot of work, you can't just expect everything to be perfect.i know I get aggravated with my man on a daily basis but i never go to bed angry. You wanted him to straighten up, and from what it sounds like he took an initiative and joined the army. That's a very good way for a man to straighten up. I think if you just wait, and let him grow up a little that everything will be find, you just have to hold on and not give up over dumb stuff. TRUST ME, he'll get better. You just have to learn to be patient, and know how to talk to him with out starting a fight.
2006-07-07 06:26:40 · answer #7 · answered by sunstargoddess86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless something major happens in his life to change him or you, the cycle of the relationship will remain the same.
All I would do is to see how it goes when he comes back, and see whether you can get him to open up about why he does what he does? If the answer does not satisfy you, and you feel, this is not the type of relationship you want, you really need to let him go and search for the person who will give you the relationship you want. Giving someone up takes time, but only if you still believe your partner will change, and they seldom do.
If i was you I'd start searching.
2006-07-07 06:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by zero Tolerance 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time change the same with relationships, in as much that we want to last the good things in our lives there are thing that we have to let go if we have TRIED and its not working. What are the things that's not working? is it tolerable ... like small things .. don't mind it if its small things, but if it big things like financial, abuse, etc, then I guess you have to move on. Patience + understanding plays an important role in keeping a relationship I hope both of you have that simple formula.
2006-07-07 06:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the first serious relationship you've ever had? the 1st time engaged? It sounds as if you need the time he's away to do some serious digging into your feelings. Where are they rooted? Is he all you've got/ Are you attracted to others? Are you considered attractive? Are there any undone things (maybe fantasies) you haven't explored? Think hard, pray hard,...take this time for YOU and you alone.
2006-07-07 06:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by longhair140 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you are doing everything you can to make it work. What you have to realize is that if he doesn't work at it equally as
much as you do. It's not going to work. It requires work on both sides. If that doesn't happen and you continue taking him back, you are just asking for a life of problems, one after another.
2006-07-07 06:29:22 · answer #11 · answered by Rover57 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋