Ra e you funny do you have any jokes?

Question

I have this website i am making and i need people to submit jokes so i can add them there here is the site

http://miabi.tripod.com
no www

Yo mama jokes are great

Answer 1

Mailman's Last Day

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you.
I asked him what to give you."

He said, "F__k him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

Answer 2

http://riddlesandjokes.com/index_riddles.php
here's my websites, i have a example of some good jokes and riddles .

riddle:Question:

A dozen Royals gathered round,
Entertained by two who clowned.
Each King there had servants ten,
Though none of them were also men.
The lowest servant sometimes might,
Defeat the King in a fair fight.
A weapon stout, a priceless jewel,
The beat of life, a farmer's tool.
What are we talking about here folks?


Answer:

A Deck of Cards.

Answer 3

Check this out..... But infact i cant understand it. can u mail me what it means?

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious?" He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ? "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist" "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

Riddles:
1.There is a glass. Water is being put into it. Every second, the contents of the glass double. The glass will be completely filled up to the brim (100%) in 60 seconds. How many seconds will it take for the glass to reach the halfway point?
Ans: 59 secs
2. An apple falls from a tree, 5 pick her up and 32 eat her, what is it?
Ans: with 5 fingers u pick up and eat it with 32 tooth.
3. Rich man need _____
Poor man have _____
If u eat _____
u'll die!

Use the same word in all 3 blanks. Ans: nothing


Funny Riddles:
1.What do hens study in college? Ans: egg-onomics
2.Where do animals go when they lose their tails? Ans: retail store.

Check another one:

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

Answer 4

Did you hear about the psychology major who was working her way through college as a prostitute?



For $20 she could blow your mind!

Answer 5

why did the cow cross the road?he was tied to the chicken


where they sign the decloration of independence?at the bottom