How long to wait before getting married?

Question

My boyfriend asked me to marry him last week. Of course I accepted!

I'm 20 and he's 24. We've been together for just over a year and we've been living together for almost 9 months.

We are planning on getting married in about 4 or 5 years time when we have saved enough money for a nice wedding. We want to do it properly, not just in a registry office.

Is this a normal length of time to wait? What are other people's stories about getting married? I'm so excited I can hardly wait! 4 or 5 years seems such a long time away!

Answer 1

you get married when you feel it's the right time not when anyone else tells you
i've been with mine for 25 years april next year and i hope you are together the same length of time
congratulations hunni

Answer 2

We were engaged 1 1/2 years, we just got married 4 weeks ago, but we've been together over 5 years. You should definitely wait. Statistics say that if you're engaged for at least a year, you have a better chance of not getting divorced. And you guys are so young, you have the time to wait a bit. Start saving now, you may save it quickly and end up getting married sooner. Don't forget your parents and his could help pay for the wedding, too. Good luck and congratulations! And remember, enjoy every second of the planning because it's over before you know it.

Answer 3

There is no right or wrong answer to this question, however given that you are both still young, there is still a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of getting to know each other properly to come. 5 years will give you a very good overview of how life will look for the both of you together, and whether you are made for each other. During this time you will go through your ups and downs and will manage to see how compatible you really are as we all know that life is not just a bed of roses. I know a couple of girls who loved the idea of a wedding - the marriage was a completely different proposal. They lived for that one day, and then realised they should have waited longer to get to know each other. Don't rush into things - if you are meant to be together, you will be even 5 years down the line. Enjoy your individual friends before marriage. I am not suggesting you can't enjoy friends when you are married, but usually when you are married responsibilities grow, usually accompanied by children, and things slightly change. Marriage is a wonderful thing, you are doing the right thing by waiting to do it properly. By the time you reach the 5 year mark you either will be bored of each other in which case you will be glad you waited before getting married, or be even more loved up as you will have history behind you, and will be confident that you do indeed know the person you are marrying. Congrats and good luck!

Answer 4

Hi Orione!

You say you've known each other for a year, been living together for nine months. it's not long! You're still getting to know each other, discovering what life as a couple is as well.

You ask if 4 to 5 years are too long a wait? Well you know Orione, it's very hard to say! Some couple get married after 10/15 years living together and all of a sudden ... Kaboom! They split up, others marry qiuckly and some stay together for the duration if others don't.

It's not a matter of how many years but how much you feel for each other, how you can be there, care for one another, how you can show each other understanding as well as support and comfort each other. Respect, trust and friendship are big ones as well!

You'll soon know if you have the whole lot! And if you have then you can have two options!

Option 1 Wait 4 or 5 years for your perfect day
Option 2 Wait less but still have a perfect day because it's what you both want.

Congratulations on your engagement!

Best wishes

Answer 5

Congratulations! It's so nice to hear someone excited about getting married. 4 to 5 years is a long time to be engaged, but ours was somewhat similar. We met in June of 03 and after a month of dating, we went shopping for rings. We're older then you guys - at that time I was 25 and he was 33. 3 months later he proposed to me, still in 03 - and we didn't get married until Sept of 05 -- for the same reasons as you...we wanted to take our time and plan everything just so and we wanted to save our money. It worked out great because we got to know each other even better and we've known been married nearly a year. Best wishes to you guys!! Keep us posted :)

Answer 6

Normally, 4 or 5 years is too long for an engagement. But considering that you're only 20 and your finances are limited, a long engagement seems to be appropriate. At 20, not everything in life is set in place yet. There's still some growing up to do, especially emotionally. Enjoy where you're at and take your time.

Answer 7

I think that it's a great time! You are both getting your priorites straight, and if luck is on your side and you get everything you want done with less time, then I say get married sooner. You two are a little young though, and I'm happy to hear that you are willing to wait a few years.
I got engaged at 19 and I was happy that I was the one that chose to wait a few years because he ended up cheating on me. Not saying that will happen to you, but it's a good way to make sure you have "done everything you wanted to" before you take the big step.
Congratulations!

Answer 8

wait as long as you want to, do it the way you want to and just enjoy the planning process and the wedding, it can be real fun.

i met my hubby oct 6th 1998 we moved in to our first house together nov 2nd, got engaged april 14th 1999 and married in april 2000.

everyone thought this was too quick and may not last but we have been married 6 years and have a lovely little boy.

we were lucky coz we could do it the way we wanted even though we only had a year to save and plan it but we had the best time and people still say how good it was!!!

Answer 9

Basically the long of the short is....there is no time to wait to get married. If you wanna do it now, and you both love each other then do it....don't wait. Anyways if you wait all those years of saving for one day....doesnt make sense to me, and whats wrong with a registry office? Do you want to spend £20K on a wedding?

Answer 10

Hi

Congratulations, I have been with my boyfreind for 9 years he asked me to marry him 5 years ago and we are finally going to do it 2nd of june 07 - it seems a long time to wait but we just did not have the money so we had to save for it

Answer 11

thats great that your getting married. but why wait so long??? usually youd wait like a year befor getting married. i know that planning a wedding is expensive. but try other ways to get the money. borrow from family or take out a loan. 5 years is way to long to wait. im sorry to say this, but why if something happens during those years and you call off the wedding? dont you feel like youv wasted your time with him then? well yu do the right thing. however you want to. talk to him and tell him youd like the wedding to be moved up like 2 years. see if that could be possible. god bless