My younger brother is a minister - in every conversation, he talks about the Bible and God. He can’t hold a real conversation about life here on earth. We were born and raised in church and I have a personal relationship with God – I enjoy his conversations. The problem I have is he’s engaged to be married in this fall, his soon to be wife is moving in with him very soon. This is considered shacking and we know when you live together you sleep together. Should I say something or just keep my big mouth closed?
2006-07-07 05:05:56 · 34 answers · asked by Sparkles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The Bible is pretty clear on what you should do.
1. Pray to God and He'll let you know whether or not he wishes you to confront your brother on the issue. This is not the type of question that can be answered on a site like this, as you've seen the responses. Only God can answer this, and you need to spend some serious time in prayer over this.
2. If you are unsure on this, you can go to your pastor, who can also be in prayer on the issue and help you discern God's response on this question.
3. If you know that God wants you to confront the situation, then first go into prayer and make sure that you don't have any "planks in your own eye". (make sure that you are right with God yourself , especially on sexual issues, and if you are not, clear this up first).
4. Approach him in a nonconfrontal way, making it clear that you love him and are doing this out of concern for him, reminding him that there is forgiveness by God and that you will support and help him as he undergoes the changes in his life.
5. Realize that the Bible never promises that your words will be taken well, but that eventually he will realize that you are doing this to help him and your relationship, if damaged, will eventually return. (in Proverbs, but I can't recall the verse)
6. If he doesn't take it well and God is still telling you to persue it, the next step would be to have an established pastor who your brother respects talk with him and you - possibly your childhood pastor, or such.
7. At this point, if he doesn't listen, he's now not listening to God, as the sin was never against you personally in the first place. Don't "shun" him or anything like that. At this point, it would probably be best to drop the issue and let God deal with him.
Examples to look at:
Nathan confronting David about his affair with Bathsheba and murder of her husband, which is all the more moving when you realize that Nathan and David had a strong friendship at the time. (although you probably won't be sent with a "your firstborn child will die" message)
Paul confronting Peter about his refusal to eat with Gentiles - probably more difficult for Paul since Peter was an original disciple, and Paul was newer to the faith.
Christ talking to the woman caught in adultery. (Never saying what she did was right, but telling her that she was forgiven and to "go and sin no more").
Rules for spiritual discipline as Paul laid them out (take the matter to the person individually first, then with one other. The last step it has, which is to turn the person out of the church, I don't think applies, as you are not a church and his behavior is not going to pull you personally away from Christ. This was primarily for those teaching false doctrines or participating in behaviors that will bring down fellow Christians, that they should be removed if they are not going to change.).
I hope this helps. Your pastor can probably give a better, more precise roadmap for this given more specifics and his experiences and knowledge then I can.
2006-07-07 05:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by manddadams 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he is so pious and thinks he has a right to spout bible stuff in every conversation then you have every right to call him on it.He is most definately being a hypocrit.While I have nothing against "shacking" he shouldn't be the one doing it.They should know better.Does he think his church will approve?And she is going to be a minister's wife?Who is going to come to them for any kind of counseling in the church?Good luck but yes,if you feel strongly about it say something to him.
2006-07-07 05:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by cmeand3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm that is a tough question. I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer such. So instead i"m going to give my two cents
I think you should tell him that he is your brother and that you love him dearly and you will support any choice he makes. But at the same time you should tell him how you feel.
Make sure you not telling him what he is doing is either wrong or right just tell him your trying to explain how you feel about this situation out of respect and love for him.
and that you will always love him and will always support him and the such.
Or I could have miss understood the question and I do apologize for that.
2006-07-07 05:12:51 · answer #3 · answered by Tophat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's new? Just because he is a minister, does that mean he can't enjoy a little pre-marital sex like the rest of us? If you think it will ruin his church, maybe say something, but otherwise, I would let it go. Example: if he is in a small town, then you probably do want to say something. A big city? Naw...let him have fun!
2006-07-07 05:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by brass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he doesn't have an unique reproduction of the BC. Does this propose something? some people imagine so and it truly desires to be resolved. even if it probably skill not something. The Democrats tried to project McCain's eligibility too. He become born in Panama. The courts ruled him eligible. Obama must have an same burden of evidence.
2016-10-14 05:22:22 · answer #5 · answered by vergeer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah because it seems very hypocritical. My in-laws are super born again Christians and objected to us even spending the night together in a hotel before we were married.
I would say something and maybe he will understand that he can't point the finger at people without turning it on himself.
2006-07-07 05:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by halocraze86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it closed. His relationship with his fiancee, and his relationship with God, are his personal business and his ALONE. Whether you approve or not, it's his choice as an adult. As a minister, I'm quite sure he knows what he's doing, and has taken his spiritual beliefs into consideration. Good luck and congratulations to him.
2006-07-07 05:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by Andi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd mention it to your brother, but only you know him better than anyone else. They could be moving in together now for the convenience of getting things situated before the wedding. Nevertheless, if you feel he would be offended or upset with your concerns, then I'd keep to yourself.
2006-07-07 05:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by CaramelKidsMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should run right off and say something. If you 2 have a great relationship you should bring it up in conversation if he's nervous about anything and see what he says. Assure him you're there for him. That should be your position in my opinion
2006-07-07 05:08:56 · answer #9 · answered by Informed New Yorker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing in the bible about living together before marriage. Keep the waters calm, there's commitment there, go with it!
2006-07-07 05:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by Jen-Jen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋