A question on telephone-etiquette.?

Question

In this day and age, most people have caller ID (they know the name or number of incoming callers).

If someone calls, and doesn't leave a message, I feel no special need or desire to call that person back.

I know this is America, so we can call back whoever we want, but what do you think?

If it's an unfamiliar number, I assume it was a wrong #.
If it's a familiar number, I assume it wasn't important.

Maybe I'm just antisocial~

What do you do, and why?

I was initially offended by Terri R, but Terri has a point, if I had kids, my outlook might be different. . .but thank contraception, I don't.

Answer 1

I keep my telephone in the office at home. If I am there to answer I will look at the caller ID and decide if I am in the mood or prepared to speak to whoever is calling.

If it is an unidentified number I usually do not answer it. That is what answering machines are for. If it is important I will call back.

I love that it is possible to communicate to almost anywhere from almost anywhere, but the fact that you can call me when ever you wish does not create in me any sense of obligation. Personally, I think it is rude to expect someone to be constantly available to take your calls.

That said, I do think that if you have loved ones in your life it is a wise choice to at least check your messages so that you may respond in the case of an emergency. If I am out and receive a call from a loved one on my mobile, I will answer just in case it is important and if it is not I have no problem telling them that it is not the ideal time to chat.

Answer 2

Irrespective of whether I have caller ID, I do not feel obligated to return the call of anyone who does not leave a message. I think the more technology we have for phones, the more rude we become. Call waiting is a perfect example. Suddenly we are putting everybody on hold every 30 seconds because we cannot bear to miss a call. Are we that important? Or is the conversation in which we are engaged suddenly less important than the call that is trying to connect? Are we expecting an emergency call? Then why are we on the phone in the first place?

You are not antisocial. It's your phone. You had it installed. You pay the bill. Do as you wish.

Answer 3

You don't HAVE to answer a phone. That is what voicemail is for if you are not inclined or are not able at the moment. If someone takes the time to leave a voice mail for me, I do them the curtesy of listening to it first before I call them back. I do not like having to repeat myself after leaving a clear message, I would not do that to someone else.

If the person is unknown to you, or someone that you don't talk to often, they should leave a message. If someone calls me that I am not familiar with, very often I will call back and ask what it is in reference too. Often enough it is a mistake since I have my number on the do not call list.

If you know the person and they don't leave a message call back. More than likely if they left no message it is probably not important so I'd call back on an off peak time. Anyway, if it was a friend and they did not leave a message, you should not take it personally. Most often friends call back each other right away with out listening to a message. This makes the person have to repeat himself. If the message is important, call them back, if not, perhaps you want to call back at an off peak time.

Answer 4

Yes, I agree - sometimes I just want to talk to someone right NOW but if they aren't home I don't leave a message. I don't like it when people with caller I.D. call back when I have called a wrong number and realized and then hung up, and ask me quite rudely why I called them! I don't even remember calling them because I don't know what number I called and have to go back through my memories to remember. They seem so perturbed and I don't really understand do you?
In answer to the person who said "way back in ancient times' when a person called. The phone was invented in the 1870's which is back in history, but is hardly 'ancient'.

Answer 5

You are absolutely not being antisocial! I think people have gotten too caught up with their phones. We've become a society of phones attached to the ears. This is ridiculous.

There are times when our family is sitting down to dinner and the phone rings. I do not feel compelled to answer the phone when we are trying to have family time. I'll be more than happy to listen to them leave a message and if it's an emergency, I can pick up and speak to them. Otherwise, I can call back at a more convenient time.

We need to stop being controlled by our phones and get on with our lives!

Answer 6

I try to remember that the telephone is a tool for my use, for my benefit. I also try to remember and practice the fact that it is up to me to choose who I want to be in communication with and when. However, you mention that you make two assumptions. If it's an unfamiliar number it's a wrong number. If it's a familiar number and they don't leave a message it wasn't important. YOU make the rules for your life, and for your use of this convenience, the phone. What is anti-social? With myself and my friends, we all recognise we have different desires regarding "being in touch". I've been enjoying finding out who I am, and then being okay with that. My best friends are the ones who accept and respect who I am, including how I use the phone. Be gentle with yourself and remember the phone is a tool to benefit your life.

Answer 7

If it is an unfamiliar number, I just forget it. If it is a familiar number (only if the person is extremely close) then I will call back. Etiquette says that you have to leave a message.

Answer 8

I do the same. Back in the ancient times when you answered the phone with a complete sense of curiosity, you actually had more opportunity to practice politeness. It seems ID has taken that away. Incidentally I was once chewed out because a woman called saying our number was on her ID and she demanded to know what we wanted. I tried explaining it must have been an accident or wrong number and she refused to believe it, we called her so we wanted something.

Answer 9

If it's a call coming in and I don't knoe the number I let it go to the voice mail and find out who they are if it's someone I care about I'll call them back if not I don't call back and usally it's some one with the wrong # who leave a message for them anyways. If it a friend or family member and I missed the call and they didn't leave a message I probly wouldn't call them back a inless I had called them first.

Answer 10

Unknown caller= no call back
Known caller = call back, it is kinda rude to do that, but they might just wanna talk to me, and don't have time to leave a message if they were interrupted by an emergency of some kind.