me and my bf have been together almost 4 months and my parents still dont like me with him...they are afraid he will bring me down they have high hopes for me and are afriad if i stay with him i wont reach my goals in life every time i bring him over or he asks to spend time with me i can tell they dont approve but i really like him and he treats me good i just wish they would get along and talk what do i do to get my bf and my parents to get along
2006-07-07 03:09:37 · 14 answers · asked by chartreuse 33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like your parents care for you a lot. If they don't like him, get together with them (not when they're busy at work or in the home) and have a heart-to-heart. They should feel good that you're still close enough to them to talk it out, and it should clear up what exactly they don't like about him. Talk about your goals, versus their goals for you, and figure out exactly what unnerves them about this guy. Sometimes parents and friends (not the ones that go, "Awwww!" whenever you mention something cute he did) have the best insight into your relationships. They aren't close enough to have distracting emotions in the matter. Your parents may see something in him that you don't.
Do you spend all of your time with him? Not literally all, but more than two days a week? To downplay the relationship in their eyes, talk it over with your boyfriend, and see if you two can start seeing each other mostly on weekends. You and he both need to concentrate on work or studies on weekdays, anyway. It'll make this "problem" not so big to them, and you'll see if your bf repects you enough to listen to your ideas. And remember, don't skip family events just to see him, and don't invite him to those without permission from your parents. It usually doesn't work out well.
Is he respectful to your parents? And don't just assume yes. Remember that heart-to-heart? Ask them during that time. If he doesn't respect them, how can he possibly respect their daughter?
This isn't just about getting your parents to approve of him. It's about finding out if you should approve as much as you do. You may not like thinking that your parents just might be right, but it can't hurt.
(By the way, four months isn't a very long time. At such an early stage in the relationship, things are uncertain. I hope the answers you get to this question are helpful.)
2006-07-07 03:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by dragon8rider2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough question... But from my point of view, you are probably better off listening to your parents. Not saying this guy is bad, he could just be from a different set of social standings than you are. He could be from a home of under achievers and he may be trying to break that generational curse. My question is, are you guys still in school? If so, does he apply hisself? Or is he running around skipping class and all or spending more time in trouble than in class? If so, then yes, you should listen to your parents. If not and he's to the other extreme of those examples then it would be ok to give it some more time. Just keep an eye out for things like drugs, drinking, and even sex. I don't know your age or his but those are life changng decisions that you shouldn't have to make until you are ready.
2006-07-07 10:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by flipper36203 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may take time. Your parents aren't trying to rain on your parade, but they are concerned for your welfare and your future. They've probably seen a lot of young people (and their own peers when they were young) set aside college and career goals in favor of a boy or girl, and end up marrying early and having to work at low paying jobs just to keep food on the table.
If your bf is respectful to them when he's around them, treats you well, and is a kind person, then your folks will see that and in time realize he's someone you enjoy sharing your life with. Let them know that you still have goals and things that you intend to do and having a boyfriend isn't going to keep you from working toward those goals.
They love you and want what's best for you. Be patient with them, it's hard for them to watch their little girl grow up.
2006-07-07 10:17:23 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart.
Parents dint always know whats best for you, people love to say that though.
However, if you have goals with school or other aspects of your life stick to them. Don't let him come between you and your goals. As long as you are able to keep doing what you wish and would find ideal for yourself then continue with the relationship as long as you see fit.
Eventually your parents will realize that you've managed your life appropriately and that he makes you happy... in the end that's all they want.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-09 22:23:49 · answer #4 · answered by PROMISCUOUS SEDUCTION 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop bringing him home. Spend time with him somewhere else. Finish school and reach those goals, proving them wrong is the only way to change their mind.
2006-07-07 10:14:26 · answer #5 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents how you feel ---- show them you are still on track and making the efforts to reach your own set goals.... if they can't accept that - then it's their problem, not yours. Love them and keep to your plans.
2006-07-07 10:16:44 · answer #6 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time if the relationship is good then they will see that and fix it but if not listen to them how old are you? that would help..
2006-07-07 10:14:48 · answer #7 · answered by chrltthnsn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LIsten to them. They might see something you don't and have a really good reason for their disapproval.
2006-07-07 10:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by julz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING.I'M INTHE SAME SOUP.WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ABOUT 9 YEARS.KNOW HOW I FEEL?NO MEANS NO.U CANT CHANGE THEIR MINDS.THEY SURELY WANT THE BEST FOR U
2006-07-07 10:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by onel2k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do when your boyfriend doesn't approve of your parents?
2006-07-07 10:12:42 · answer #10 · answered by tiger_skratch 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋