My childrens father has remarried and forgot all about the kids. What the hell happen?

Question

When we broke up. I moved on and eventually married and had a son. ( We have 2 girls together). I then moved out the state for 2 years ( he knew where we were and the girls stayed in contact). He didnt like the fact I moved but it wasnt for him to like.
He is now married. Before ''she'' came along, after our breakup, he literally got the kids EVERY weekend, came to see them before he went to work at night ( which used to bug the hell out of me), but the girls looked forward to it so i just grined and beared it. He bought for them (in addition to child support). He pretty much did right by them in every way possible.
Now during all of this, he dated other women and I met them and NEVER had any problems with them at all, until this ''creature'' he got now came along.
When i returned from out of state and they found out i was here to stay and not visiting, his wife went ballistic. Now he ceased visitation and he doesnt return thier calls.
I

Yes he pays child support. And i just recently recieved an large increase. I think that is also a large problem with her
485.00 to 1238.00.
All she had to do was shut the hell up in court

Yes these are his children, we were together for 5 years. That has never been a question

Answer 1

You don't have time to worry about what he or his jealous insecure wife think. You can only do what is right for your family now, provide the love your daughters need and show them that they are loved and cherished. Have your new husband, their stepdad, do more with the girls and spend time with them. Give them a good role model of what a father is supposed to be like. Obviously you are not some weak thing, you sound like a strong woman. Keep being a good mom and your girls will figure out who to emulate when they grow up. (((hugs)))

Answer 2

I have had the same thing happen to me. My ex always was right there. We even lived close enough for the kids to go from house to house when they wanted! My ex even was friends w/new hubbie. We took vacations together, he would take my stepson places. Then it happened!!! The creature!! After 14 wonderful years of being divorced, it was over!!!! First he moved out of the beautiful home my kids had been raised in, then, in the middle of the night, he came and took the car he had bought for our daughter to give to his new wife, she wrecked hers! He totally stopped supporting our 2 youngest kids. Then our 18 year old was killed on a motorcycle, he wouldn't let me plan his funeral!! She did every bit of it!!! He had the life insurance policy so he had control. My son began to drink, he was drunk when he was killed! His father ignored my pleas to him to help or the fact my son was in trouble. He always took her side over the kids. Thats why to this day, the big house she wanted stands w/o the laughter of kids or the joy of our grandchild! This is why he is grey headed now! This is why his business is failing!! Our daughters will have nothing to do with him. I am saying most men conform to what their woman wants. They don't think for themselves, she just wants the kids gone, no matter how it hurts the dad!!! She wants to prove she is in control, not you, but it will all fall. It always does or she will come around to see the errors of her ways. Hopefully it won't be too late like it was for my son!!! Men have these kids and they don't understand the kids love them. They can't walk out and expect the kids to forget or go find a new daddy. May God be w/you and your kids. May God bless this man to let him see the pain these kids are going through! Nothing you can say or do will take the hurt away! But , please don't talk about him in a bad way! It just makes them mad at you! I know this from first hand experience! They have to be mad at someone so let them write a letter to him or her if they are old enough! They need to be able to express themselves! I hope some of this helps. Please, ibe strong! He isn't right now.

Answer 3

You don't sound perfect yourself. Don't you think there is more to this story from his point of view? And, don't you think the personality of his new wife is a "fact that isn't for you to like"? Kids are commonly used as weapons against ex-spouses. The real issue is obviously with you. Call him and tell him you are coming over to his house at "such and such" a time. Perhaps even take a lawyer. Talk to him and find out what it is about you that is causing this.

Don't be defensive. It sounds like you've had the upper hand in the relationship for a long time. Now you're getting it stuck to you. If you care about your kids, you'll listen to the father and work it out for their sakes.

Answer 4

for one, I could have told you this was going to happen. By law you would not be able to move out of town without his permission. The kids cannot move if he has joint custody without his say so. Since he did not fight it, this shows you where his mind is at. I personally am in a simular situation. I get my kid 50% of the time if not more. I live 40 miles away. NOTHING will stand between my kid and I. His new girl maybe planning things on the weekends so he cannot see them. After the newness of his new girl wears off, He will come around. I just hope its not too late.

Answer 5

I would send him a certified letter stating the facts about him not keeping consistent visitation of his children and state that neglect is a form of child abuse and if he continues to abuse them in this manner just to make his wife happy, then you will be forced to seek court intervention and not allow him any further contact ever. In some states, like where I live, in Massachusetts, the courts will give you more money, if he doesn't see them. I would then file a modification on child support. Just make it harder for him. His wife is jealous and maybe she knows that he hasn't fully gotten over you,but she needs to get over herself and move aside or one day she will be the one left out in the cold..

Answer 6

FLDS isn't "a phase of the mormon church" There are not any ties, no affiliations, no relationships, not something. that is like declaring that the branch Davidians in Waco were Catholic because they used the Bible. Mormons do not condone the habit, practices, or faith of the FLDS. There are 13+ Million Mormons. There are fewer than 20,000 FLDS. those are VERY diverse church homes. i do not understand why you'll ask a question about FLDS, yet then want the Pope's opinion on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. MORMONS do not practice POLYGAMY. MORMONS at the on the spot are not FLDS. am i able to be any clearer???

Answer 7

you can probably force him to take the kids and even child support if they're under 18 by taking him to court. if that's too costly for you, there's really nothing you can do. you both have separate lives now. you seem a bit jealous that he has someone else. Just move on.

Answer 8

He has to establish his situation at his home. It sounds like your're a bit jealous of her. Don't be. Give it sometime. Don't be like my ex. and make it out to be the new mom as the enemy. She had nothing to do with your breakup. Most women can't accept another woman helping to raise your childen, but want the father to accept the other man. Grow up and respect her as his helpmate. She's not replacing you as a mom. You children knows your number 1. Don't make it difficult for your children. Please don't make them take sides because no one will win. It's not about choice, It's about raising them to love both new families.

Answer 9

OMG you are going through what I am lol the solution is go to counseling I just went yesterday he and I had a hour long discussion about what a great father he used to be until her . and he said he got sidetracked and every excuse the counselor was there to put him in check and snap him back into fatherhood it is hard I know raising them on your own feel free to message me if you wanna talk good luck ...Pepsi

Answer 10

You never said whether you were getting child support, if not do it. He doesn't deserve the children, be grateful that he is not around acting like he is. It's probably all because she doesn't want him to have anything to do with them for fear he will have contact with you. He is kind of spineless.