I want to help a friend with her dog, but I don't want to be rude, how can I help??( they don't have Internet)

Question

A friend of mine, has a 3 year old, and lives in not tiny, but a small enough house. Well anyways, she came by the other day to show me her new puppy (her Fiance brought it home) I think he paid somewhere between 500$ and 1000$ He bought her a Great Dane. They know NOTHING about the breed, other than the fact that they are big and it's the same breed as scooby-doo. She doesn't know how fast their little bones grow and how you have to watch them from jumping and etc, because of hip dysplasia, and that Great Danes can get bloat and how much their going to be spending a month on dog food, + the size of their house may not go so well with the size of the dog, and that Danes get hyper (like any other puppy) and will probably (not intentionallly)but will plow over their kid, I tried to tell her some of these things and (trying not to be rude and thinking I know it all)and she told me that they've had a dog before, and a dog is a dog. I want to help for the pup's sake, but without being rude.

(he brings dogs home alot) This will be their 4th dog in the past 4 years. One ran away, 2 of them he got rid of (without my friends knowledge) (and I don't mean selling them or bringing them to a shelter) and the 4th got hit by a car... I just don't want this dog, (to magically disapear) when he realizes he can't afford to take care of it, or it get hurt or neglected.

Answer 1

You could always drop off a book about great danes to her as a welcome home puppy gift.

Answer 2

I really like the book idea suggested. It will provide her with information and not be so pushy. Great Danes are fine in small places as long as they have access to someplace to burn energy. When we first got married my husband and I lived in a 500 square foot, 4 room (that is counting the bathroom) house with 4 yes 4 great danes. It was not a problem at all, we had a nice fenced in yard for play time and took walks. Other then stepping over dogs any time you walked anywhere in the house it was never a problem. I think that is why I get annoyed with people who dump their danes saying their house is too small because I can always beat them in number and house size from that 2 year period.

Really it isn't the first year that is bad with a dane pup is it year 1 to 2. The first year they are growing so much they sleep a lot then around age 1 they start to wake up and play more. Of course by then they are very large and that may or may not be a problem with a small child in the house, that depends on how the parents train both dog and child.

When you take her the book also give her a list of obedience classes in the area. If you know any dane owners in the area also give their names and numbers to her. She may be more willing to talk to owners of danes then to someone who doesn't own one.

Answer 3

Quite obviously you see a dog as having feelings and needs beyond the "a dog is a dog". However the more you voice your reservatons the more she will see you as interfering as opposed to your intentions of helping her and the dog. I've been around this type of person before and they have no business with ANY type of animal. It would be interesting to know what happened to the dog she had before.
A book on Great Danes from the pet store is a good idea. Whether she will read it or not is another thing.
I would say just keep an eye out for what is going on with them and the dog. This dog, to her, is like a new toy or gadget. She does not take it seriously. Eventually the newness will wear off. Keep an eye out for how she takes care of the animal. If you see that things are going badly, I would step in...so to speak....and try to talk her in to adopting the dog out. Maybe her fiance can see the light.
From what you have described, this is a disaster waiting to happen. When it does the dog will pay. If things go really badly for the dog, there are rescue groups for this breed and they may be able to give you some ideas on what to do. You can find them on the internet.
One thing, act happy for her that she has the new puppy. I know it's false, but in that way she won't cut you off and you will always know what is going on with the dog.

Answer 4

Dogs have a way of letting their owners know what they need. I hope your friend is not really as addle brained as you seem to think. The size of the house does not matter I live in a 999sq ft house and have 4 BIG dogs, so the dog won't care. As far as what you should do to help, above getting the two books like that one suggested, let them make their own mistakes. While it is a big responsibility, not to mention cost, when a person spends that kind of money on a dog they are likely to care for it also. About the 3 year old, Ihave one and he tells the dogs to back off if they play and he doesn't want to. And yes he does sometimes get knocked over but he's 3 and falls on his own so he's OK. My 7 year old had 6 dogs to deal with when she was small and I gave them to her to leash break it cemented a bond with them and they would give their lives for my kids. maybe the only person in the house that will truly get the dog is the child. Just observe and keep quiet they might surprise you, and their first trip to the vet will also clue them in. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 5

try to get as much info about the breed as possible and pass it on to her. She can read it in her own time. If they have had a dog before I wouldn't worry too much as they will know all the risks of having a dog around young children. As long as they are strict teaching the puppy that rough and tumble games are totally out of the question, they won't have a problem. If they do have trouble, wait for her to ask for help. Great danes are big dogs yes, but they are also very gentle and placid. As long as they know it musn't be excercised too much and given a good diet full of calcium for its developing bones, that should be all they need. Try not to make your friend feel stupid about having a big dog in a small house. Sometimes the bigger ones take up less space as they are so quiet.

Answer 6

Buy her a book about caring for Great Danes. Then look up the address or number of a Great Dane specialty club. That way, if she has trouble, you have given her resources without being in her face. Also, it will look like you are being enthusiastic instead of discouraging.

If you are very active in helping them with the dog, and it winds up not working out for them, then you may be the first place they come to if they give up the dog. That may be a point to ponder before getting too involved.

Answer 7

we have a great dane and think they are wonderful. i have four children the youngest being 2. i also babysit for my sister who has a one year old. our great dane is wonderful. she is only 7 months old and is a big teddy bear. she doesn't get mad at the kids for playing with her or anything. as far as being hyper that is far from the truth. they are known as couch potatoes and that is exactly what they are. ours sleeps half the day away. they actually say that they are fine for apartment living because they are not hyper and they don't need to be let out to pee as often because they have large bladders. as far as food expense goes it isn't bad at all. you have to watch the amount of food that they take in because they can't have to much. to reduce the chances of bloat you need to raise their food and water dishes so they don't have to bend over to eat and drink. great danes are wonderful dogs and we plan to get another one. they are very sweet dogs and they are good with other dogs and small children. i hope this helps you and your friend. as long as they make sure that the dane knows who the boss is they won't have any trouble.

Answer 8

Maybe as a gift you could give her a book on Great Danes. Make it sound like, "Oh, I thought this might be nice..." so it doesn't sound at all judgmental. I think you are right to be concerned, people so often buy the wrong pet just because they are cute and then the animal ends up suffering some how. Good luck

Answer 9

Go to a good bookstore or REALLY good petstore.

Buy her two books. THe first book should be a coffe table style book about Great Danes. Make sure it has a lot of really pretty pictures.

The second book shoud be something along the lines of, "The Idiot's Guide to Great Danes", or "You and your Great Dane".
A typical owner's manual.

THey'll love and appreicate both books.

Answer 10

great dane's are usually good with kids , and it doesn't matter if the house is small as long as they either have a backyard or walk him everyday . the food cost will be a lot though , i think you are overreacting . Many people have large dogs in aprtments with kids , it just takes a lot more effort when they don't have a big house to play in

Answer 11

I understand that you want to help the dog, but is losing your friend really worth it? If you keep telling her these things she is going to feel like you are stepping on her toes, and basically letting her know that she's not "smart" enough to take care of the dog. If she is already getting defensive about it, I would say drop the subject and just pray for the best.