My mom dosent like me.Is it my fault?

Question

My mom hates me.She scolds me everytime.I am 17 years old,good at studies and i never did any wrong things in my life.My mom says i am not so good looking but i think i am beautiful.She irritates me often by criticizing about my feature.I heard in many stories that mothers used to be a very kind person who loves her child very much.I think it happens only in fairy tales not in real life.

I think its better to leave this world than hearing her nasty comments about me.

Answer 1

Mothers respond in different ways. Mothers learn their parenting skills most likely from their Mother or some other significant role model.She may be responding to things she heard or she may see a part of you that is like her. What ever the cause, it's not your fault. It's time for you to start taking responsiblity for your actions. If it annoys her, then don't do it around her.You can't change the past, but you can change your present and thereby change your future.

There is a better way. You are worth it.

Answer 2

mothers aar many times faced with a young, vibrant, blossoming daughter that is just begining her life at the time when the mother is just starting to go through her midlife changes such as body metabolism slowing, maybe the start of menopause and perhaps looking back at her life and having some regrets at things that she was not able to accomplish or perhaps resenting that you have opportunities that she did not have. I'm not saying she is right to treat you poorly, but these may just be some reasons.
See if you can talk to a counselor, clergyman or therapist. Their are therapists that work on a sliding scale fee or even some places that will help you with no cost at all.
Don't despair. Continue to get good grades, behave yourself and act in a responsible manner. These things will always serve you well. You will not be living in your mom's house forever.
Parents don't generally TRY to do things to hurt their children. Most of the time, they are doing the best that they know how given their resources and may not understand that they are really being hurtful.
Good luck

Answer 3

See, i believe that a mother loves her child always and i dont think it is possible for a mother to dislike her child despite her looks. I think she has a deep reason for this kind of behavior but i might be wrong. She might be scolding you and telling you that you arn't very pretty because she doesnt want you thinking that your all that and using your looks and brains to get things. Either that or maybe she is just worried that you are going to leave her and get married and go off to college and she doesnt want to give you up yet, but she knows the age is right and that timew may be reallu soon. I cant think of anything that would make a mother act like this but to find out how sdhe really feels for sure just sit down with her and tell her it is important. Tell her she is making you sad by criticizing you all the time when you do your best and you feel that she doesnt love you. Maybe she doesnt recognizxe her own behavior, and when sdhe finds out you feels this way, shell take a different approach to whatever she is trying to do.

Answer 4

There are two sides to every story, and you have presented your side. Sometimes the perceptions of children and teens are very intense, could you be reading more into your mom's comments than is there? If you really do feel that she hates you, it is important to speak to a counselor to sort out your feelings, whether or not your mother participates in the counseling. The fact that your mother has made you feel that she hates you indicates she needs help herself, especially if this has been going on for 17 years. If it is a relatively recent occurrence, perhaps your mom is going through some sort of crisis, worrying about you leaving the nest and leaving her alone. Maybe she can't come to terms with it. Good luck.

Answer 5

Has she been the same for a long time ? Maybe she has some sort of a personal problem that she could not to anyone about, and the maybe she is just taking her frustration out on you. Mom's kinda get frustrated and annoyed when they spend the whole day at home, and not being able to talk to someone properly. But either way it was not right for her to say such things to you.

You should talk to someone who your mom is very close with and who she trusts, this could be your farther, one of her close friends and maybe your aunt (a female figure most likely ) who knows her well and that she could trust. Maybe they could talk to her and help solve her problem and also resolve your conflictions with her. and maybe you could also sit with your mom and try to understand what happens in her life, maybe have a girls day out, shopping perhaps.

mother's love their children, but each have a funny way of showing it sometimes and sometimes they also need help from us to show it the way we understand.

If your problem does not resolve easily, life still has a lot to offer no matter how hard it gets. we just have work hard and take a day at a time until we can start our own life, and maybe then we could live it the way we want to. don't let others end your life short, with good days most of the time and even worse days at times... life is worth living to the end.

hope this helps...

Answer 6

Hey, you are just a year older than me when I left home. My mum didn't like me either and you know what?
I don't care!

She was cruel beyond words and but she taught me one really valuable lesson. How NOT to be. She was an extremely intelligent woman but had absolutely no common sense but as a woman I think because she was intelligent she was aware of her cruelty. She was definately jealous of me always telling me how she wished she had my hair (probably why she always skinned my head/crew cut) and she was ignorant to what was happening right before her eyes so she was arrogant too

Ignorance becomes arrogance when you are aware of being ignorant, like her

We can either live wishing for that mother, I did and after leaving actually went back to see if she had changed. She hadn't and even demonstrated the same behaviour in front of my husband to be.
I got out of there, and decided to break all ties and made my own life.

If you decide to stay and take what she gives then be sure you don't stay too long to cause you damage. You are a young woman now and can actually make your own bed without anybody else making it for you. How you make that bed is up to you, but make it cautiously, I jumped straight in, ruffled the sheets and didn't know how to make it.

Be happy, that is your number one priority at 17, it makes all the difference to when you get to a ripe old age like me.

I wish you luck and lots of love. Love isn't supposed to hurt, if you are hurting then look at what is causing the pain. Is it worth the pain you are in?
If not, get away from the pain.....it hurts less and in time the pain goes.
God Bless You!

Answer 7

I am sure your mother loves you very much, if she didn't love you then she wouldn't scold you all the time. If she didn't care about you, she wouldn't care what happened to you and would let you do whatever you want and not have any say in it. It sounds like your mother is very overprotective of you and perhaps maybe she was teased when she was younger. I would try and open up to your mother and let her know how much she hurts you by telling you those things. I also think you need to see a therapist and talk about your emotional feelings, and perhaps why your mother is making these comments. Like I said, I think its something about her past, so don't take it personal okay?

Cheer up!

Answer 8

My sisters were put through hell by their mother. Too fat. Too skinny. Too pretty. Looking ugly. Smart. Stupid and on and on.
Get the point that your mom is emotionally unstable, will not and can not listen to anything but her ill mind so just know she is sick and there is nothing you can do about it. She is also in denial so forget talking to her about anything.
Stay home until you have finished high school, get into a college dorm and away from her. Distance yourself from her as time goes by. Be kind and give her a hug once in a while. She is living in torment which she got from her mother. Parents can only give you what they know and these days parenting should be taught in highschool.She will never change and really has no idea of what she is doing to you. Don't feel sorry for her. It is just another trap. She will never chage, but you can change your enviorment slowly by getting a plan together in your head to get into college and make a great life for yourself. Be patient. Many mothers suffer from this condition . It is up to them to realize it and get therapy, though rarely works unless they truly are doing it for themselves and not for show. I recommend reading MY MOTHERS HOUSE and THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED.

Answer 9

I've experienced in my past and through others, this can be caused mainly by the fact of jealousy of you, in the aspect of truly knowing you are beautiful and or being able to live a your life in a way she wishes she could have, and or she fills as though you were a burden by no mistake of your own, but only of hers...
Always know you are better then this treatment and you very much do not deserve.
Never should you allow this to take away your life, your future, and always remember to not allow this chain of abuse to continue through you and yours...
Your time under her roof is about done, stay strong , learn from it, and go forth into the life you truly deserve...
You are very much a loved person I'm sure, and you need to think of all that would hurt and suffer from you leaving our world...

Answer 10

Please get help NOW!!! You need to see a therapist or your doctor. I'm scared for you! Don't do anything crazy. A lot of children have those problems, hopefully you can find some of them and share comfort. Hey, your 17 and will be leaving home soon. Don't loose your good attitude about yourself. Smart, don't get into trouble, beautiful...with that attitude you WILL go places and become a wonderful independent adult. Some day when you have children...make the fairy tale come true and be that kind person who loves her kids...break the cycle.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Please seek professional help if you are thinking about doing anything drastic!!!

Answer 11

You are very smart & aware. A mom (bottom line) is just another human being - although in your case a very poor example of one. Stay strong. Your 17...your almost on your own. Just hearing you speak makes me think it would be this worlds loss if you left. Let God decide when it's your time to leave. Hey, I'm not just spouting off. I am 46 and have been abused most of my life. I too used to wonder and think about leaving. Thank G-d I didn't. Finally life is worth living. You sound to smart to think it won't happen for your too.