I am very comfortable with my other half. I just freeze in bed. I am afraid to do something he doesn't like or afraid of not doing things right. I need help!!!! Please help me
2006-07-07 01:15:48 · 23 answers · asked by cndipas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Like what? Sink your teeth into him or something? I suspect anything you do (or try asking him if he likes it) will be just fine my dear. There's no special ritual for sex. Just "wing it" and do what you feel like doing. It'll work out, believe me.
2006-07-07 01:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself, with a twist.
First, you are normal (if that was your concern at all).
Second, I'd advise against having a drink or two beforehand. Would you want your other half to do that? Would you wonder if your other half were doing that just to sleep with you?
Third, relax. Easier said than done, right? Recognize that even in a steady relationship (or maybe especially in a steady relationship) you're not always going to hit a home run when you have sex. I think sometimes we can give in to the popular notion that with sex we have to find some secret combination to unlock a super-shattering orgasm and if we don't find it EVERY time we've somehow failed. Could that be some of your anxiety? Sex should be intimate, special, passionate and a celebration of your feelings towards one another.
You say you're comfortable with your other half: does your other half encourage you, help you relax, talk to you, move slowly? For now, perhaps, it should be about YOU, about getting you to relax, to give in to your feelings and to let go. It may take some time, but it will be worth it, and if your other half is patient and loving and kind, then this can work out just fine.
One final suggestion: do you masturbate? If not, try. It can help you get in touch (no pun intended) with yourself and help you experience a lot of wonderful feelings.
Good luck.
2006-07-07 01:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of drinks (if you drink) or a nice hot bath with a glass of milk and you just surrender yourself completely to your other half and let him take over (total submission) and do it on the couch or on the floor first to get rid of bed fright, ask him before making love about the things that excite him and would like you to do, you'll start building confidence between you two and in no time you'll be kicking it high and low. Best luck to you both.
2006-07-07 01:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your other half tell him how you feel I was the same way when I first got with my current man. Over time you feel more like yourself around him and you will know his likes and dislikes in bed. If you were a virgin with this guy or inexperienced that could be causing the anxiety. Talk to him honey that's the only way to overcome it. Goodluck
2006-07-07 01:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by TootsiePop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well one thing, it should also be about you. If you want to try something tell them this. Work on what each of you like, try new things. If you are afraid to do it while having sex then talk to them before hand about it.
2006-07-07 01:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice Practice Practice
2006-07-07 01:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by thomas p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel! It will help you calm down. I'm sure he will want you to feel relaxed. Getting your anxiety out in the open will help your relationship. Don't be embarrassed about your performance anxiety. It just means you are worried about pleasing your partner. He will appreciate the fact that you want to please him and will want to help you get over your worries.
2006-07-07 01:23:19 · answer #7 · answered by ahhihello 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say communicate with your partner tell him how you are feeling. Maybe he already sense you want to tell him. Im sure once you get it off your chest you will begin to feel more confident in your sexual performance. I'm sure it will take time but the key is to open up your thoughts and feelings.
2006-07-07 01:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by mammothmanatee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to be nervous. Sometimes it helps to talk about things (abviously beforehand) ask him what type of things does he like tell him what you like . (if you are ready for sex you are ready to talk about it) Then when you are ready to try those things he likes out, just relax.Forget about everything going through your head because we tend to get nervous oh do we look fat oh am i doing it right belive me he thinks you look beautiful at taht point and if you were doing something wrong he would definitly tell you.
2006-07-07 01:23:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he dosent like what you do then he will tell you and you should do the same. And over time the more you 'do it' the easier it will get. He may well have the same fears. Communication is the key!
2006-07-07 01:20:07 · answer #10 · answered by vmmc_64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with him and has there been problems in the past with someone else. Sex with the one you love should come natural. There may be other issues that you need to addressed.
2006-07-07 01:19:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋