what if he finds out?

Question

thers a good chance im getting back with my ex. we were together3 years hes the love of my life i want to be with him forever ill never love any1 else the way i love him. 1 problem me and his brother are very good friends and he knows this but while we were apart one thing led to another and me and his brother ended up having a passionate night. it hasnt afffected our relationship were still good friends but we havent told my ex. what if he finds out say if him and his brother have an argument and my freind uses it to get back at him

Answer 1

Well first thing you were apart. So thats a plus. Second thing it is his brother and thats a minus. So you figure the two will cross each other out. Most cases brothers have this bond where things like this really hurt. I would tell your ex before you get back together. Why waste 3 more years of your life and then he finds out and tells you to get out. If he "really" loves you he might flip out a day and then come back to you. And if he is the wrong person he won't get over it. But you did nothing wrong all your doing now is seeing if this is the right guy for you. Good Luck :)

Answer 2

Unfortunately, you must come clean now. Suppose that you and the brother decide to keep it a secret . Like you said, if the ex finds out,it may not be so easy to recover from the deception. He may never trust you and you will hurt whatever you may have had. If you are honest now, chances are he will understand and you have given him the oportunity to decide if he can deal with the knowledge about you a his brother. You will both hurt much deeper later after you have shared more memories together and then split up. Consider if the shoe was on the other foot, would you not feel as if your whole life together was a total lie? Would you not question what part in the relationship was he ever honest about with you? And finally, did he ever really love you if he's lied all this time? Just be honest. Show that you really love him and that he means that much to you that you must come clean.

Answer 3

He needs to know the truth, if he truly loves you he will get over it and you can't rebuild your relationship on a lie. You don't want to be constantly looking over your shoulder wondering when and if.

I doubt his brother would be stupid enough because his *** would be in trouble too, but you can't take that chance.

You have to be ready for the consequences but at least you know how solid you are, you can't build a good foundation on sand. Good luck, you made a mistake and you regret it. Let him know how much you love him and that it will never happen again and make sure it doesn't.

Be prepared that he won't trust you with is brother which is understandable.

Answer 4

In order for a relationship to survive, it must be based on truth. If you value this relationship, which it sounds like you do, you need to be honest with him from the start. Begin by saying how much you love him, and that you want it to work this time, and the only way it can is by being completely honest. I would tell him.

Answer 5

You can not have a relationship with any lies hanging over your head. Tell him first and if he leaves you forever then he left an honest loving person. If he take you back he's a good man. But don't do that one again. It was not a smart move. We can do such silly things when we are hurting. Learn from it. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I think I would leave that one bottled up. There are just certain things that never need to be explained in a relationship. And there is no easy way to explain this one. It will end the relationship if you tell him so you might as well just go on without telling him....ever!

Answer 7

You are so screwed.. I dont think a man can hold it for a long time. What if you get married or something and then his brother tells him?? I think you should tell him he should hear from you. I am sure he will get so mad and try to break up etc. but if you play your cards right and convince him it was a mistake etc maybe you can have a chance.. good luck.

Answer 8

You love him and want this to work this time then by all means just tell him the truth. He may get angry at the time, but once he thinks about it, I am sure it will be okay. Oh yea make sure that you tell his brother what you are going to do. And remind him that it is HIM that you love. Good luck to you both.

Answer 9

Hey, you broke up with the guy when this happened, right??? Would you tell him if it were someone else??? No...so why spill the beans when you KNOW he will be hurt and it will ruin your relationship. Take his bro aside and discuss it with him. Tell him you don't want the ex to know. I'll bet he doesn't either. Then both of you keep your mouths shut for the ex's sake.

Answer 10

if you are worried about it, maybe you would be better off addressing it up front. your concern is an indicator of conscience, or legitimate fear of discovery. either way, disclosure way resolve the issue. perhaps you already know the outcome and this is a motivation for non-disclosure.

you should dig deep and decide what is important, and if you are willing to live with a relationship based on a lie of omission.

peace and good luck with that one!