y do guys always try to change girls?y do girls try to change guys?

Question

every guy that i have been with tryed to change me.wat bout all of u girls .

Answer 1

Oh Honey....... of COURSE we try to change guys! LOL!

We're just much sneakier and more persuasive.

shhhhh!

Answer 2

Everyone has an image in their head of what their "ideal" mate should be like. Relationships often form when one or both people see something in the other that seems to match this ideal fantasy person. Sometimes it's something physical, like hair color. Other times it's a personality trait, like a sense of humor.

People in love (or lust) see what they want to see, especially in the early part of a relationship.Sometimes people fool themselves into thinking the other person has many of these 'ideal' traits, even though they really don't.

Rather than appreciating those 'ideal' things that first attracted them, and accepting the reality of the parts that don't match the fantasy, some people try to change the other person so they'll perfectly match the fantasy in every way. Lots of times they don't realize they're doing it - they just see it as bringing out the "real" person inside. Problem is, this real person is really inside them, not the other person!

I agree with others who've said women are worse than men about trying to change a partner. In general, Men just seem to want creature comforts: Sex, food, freedom and a comfortable place to come home to. Women seem to want a lot more complex stuff: Ambition, sensitivity and security (both financial and emotional.)

By my age, most women (and men, too) know they can only change themselves. We still try to nudge our loved ones to change, but it's usually for reasons of health or safety. The lucky ones among us have figured out that reality is far better than any fantasy we could have imagined.

Answer 3

I think it is partially because they think differently, so there is a tendency for people to try and get other people to be 'normal' like they are. Another reason is because they find someone they like at first, but then there is some part they don't like. So it seems easier to try and get the person they have to change, instead of going out and looking for someone more compatible.

Yeah, most girls seem to try and change guys, too.

It's just hard, wrapping your head around someone with a totally different experience of life than you have. So people get lazy and try and get the person they're with to be the way they think they 'ought' to be, instead of appreciating the differences that makes everybody unique and interesting.

Answer 4

I don't think they mean to change them. At least not everyone does.I think they try to make them a lil more like themselves in some ways,even if it's to relate a lil better. You can't change a person though. You know each others desires, and if a person changes,it will be because they choose to do so for love.Not because they are pushed.

Answer 5

From what I know, women try to change men more as compared to men trying to change women. Besides, those things only generally happen when a man and a woman already have a relationship together. It is just but one of the intricacies of being in a relationship. :)

Answer 6

Its usually the other way around. If you find a girl who doesnt try to change you to her specifications, you are lucky. Guys are always after one thing, they cannot care about other things, what they care about is between your legs.

Answer 7

guys always try to change girls when i first got with my husband he know what kind of person i was what music i liked my friends, then bam no more friends, changed the music, the way i dressed while he completely stayed the same

Answer 8

Can't speak for the guys, but it seems women are more guilty of that than men. If men ask you to change something, generally it is out of concern , not ego.At least that's been my experience.

Answer 9

It is called expectation and the problem is everyone just about has them and tries to push them onto other people.

I suppose it is an attribute that humans have.

oh is this for females only?

ah well you got one from a male

Answer 10

I wanted to change somebody. I knew what they were like when I got together with him but still blindly walked into it because I had fallen pregnant. I wanted to change him for the new family I had, and for him. He was a violent man in which I discovered before getting together with him but never believed it would be in our relationship. Duhhhh, hey...I was 17 so a mere child ;) lol
But I lived in hope of him changing. 4 years later I left him in fear of my life and my forth, unborn childs life.
I returned a week later on a promise he'd never do again and I believe in more chances.
He never ever hit me again....so leopards can change their spots if want to.
You don't know how much hope that change gave me to change him in other ways too. He was very abusive with his mouth, very possesive and lived in his own fears.
I wanted to change him for him as much as for my family, he was constantly losing all his friends and he just didn't understand why others treated him the way they did.
I gave up on wanting to change him-16 years later but it was too late as so much damage had been done it actually created others to be the same.

We don't all want the change in others for ourselves, its for others too.
Now, he has done many of those changes but not because I tried to change him, but because he finally saw the light and wanted to change himself.

Answer 11

girls try to change guys 98% more then guys try to change girls

me personally i don't care if i get with a girl one way then she is fine if she trys to change the way i am she got another ting coming to her