my dad is super super strict with me. i mean ridiculously strict, and i don't understand why. i have given him no reason not to trust me and he still doesn't and he told me this. He makes everything i do into a big fiasco where i'm trying to pull something over on him or someone might take it the wrong way, he thinks that i intend everything i do to be taken in a sexual manner and i so completely don't. He tries to say that he encourages me to talk to my friends but everytime i do he criticizes me like really harsh, And it's summer break for me so i sleep in now he's telling me that i have to get up at nine everyday. which i don't understand. he constantly complains about how my brother should lose weight yet i have lost weight recently and he says that it's unhealthy and that i should eat more often. i don't understand and i don't know how to deal with it. can someone plz help me!
2006-07-06 20:33:47 · 10 answers · asked by barbiedoll17 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
oh and i know he means well but this just ain't working. with everything he says to me and stuff i feel like he thinks i'm a slut or something, my mom says it's because he's afraid i'll turn out like his sisters(skanky) i'm not them but he doesn't seem to get that. i like to think that i'm a pretty good girl, and most ppl agree but he doesn't
2006-07-06 20:50:24 · update #1
he sounds like a control freak. my mother was like that when i was growing up and even though i'm 40 years old now she still tries to treat me that way. i don't even live in the same country as her for half the year and she still tries to control me from across the ocean.
all i can suggest is that you know the difference between right and wrong so behave accordingly. don't take everything he says to heart and don't let it shatter your sense of who you are. be the best person you're able to be and hopefully eventually he'll realise he doesn't need to be so strict or critical. if he doesn't at least some day you'll be an adult and can live your own life. in the meantime just try not to argue with him about it because that will only make it worse.
2006-07-06 20:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by jbslass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the land of conflicted parenting.
Parents like this are usually so conflicted with the advice/help they should give that they end up sounding insane to their kids. If it's not a situation where that's the case, your dad may be under alot of stress in some area of his life and is taking control in the extreme in other areas to overcompensate for it. That happens alot these days, especially with job/business pressures. And especially if this behavior is recent and hasn't been ongoing through most of your upbringing.
Another cause could be a dependency problem, but it doesn't sound likely because you're not citing any physical/classical mental abuse.
Yet another set of causes could be stresses of a more personal nature in your dad's life. Such as his marriage/relationship with his significant other might be strained. Or you may simply be of an age where you'll be leaving him soon and he wants you to be "prepared" in his mind to deal with the kind of people he may not want you to associate.with. But instead of warning you against them properly, he's accusing you of being one because he doesn't know how to say it any other way. It could also be that he's just plain afraid of losing you or of you being harmed by the wrong people or actions. It could also be that his own upbringing was very strict and that's the way he's being with you. Or he could feel it was too lax and doesn't want that to be the case with you.
As you can see, it could be alot of things.
The best thing to do is not to argue because it won't get you anywhere. Just let him know that you're listening to him and doing the best you can, but that he needs to allow you to do your best.
Good luck! :)
2006-07-06 20:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by this_isridiculous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. I have a step father like this, but luckily I moved away and he cant continue his reign of terror on me. I know that he always means well but he has NO idea how to communicate with people. My half sister still cops it though. I don't know about the situation with YOUR Dad but with my stepfather it was always a power struggle. He had to let everyone know who was boss and he was never ever EVER wrong. My poor sister still cops it cause she is more aggressive than my brother and I ever were and he is STILL fighting for that power with her (even though she is 19 now). I really cant give you any answers and I'm sorry about that, but maybe try and figure out why he is being the way he is, and maybe that will be a step in the right direction.
Good luck! :o)
2006-07-06 20:41:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just chill and let him be!!! Say yes to everything he says but do your own thing........ He may get fed up and stop preaching!!! Andif he doesnt then ignore him................
Exercising some amount of discipline on your child is okay, but this is insane!!! Sounds like some sort of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to me!!!
There is another option, have a Heart -to-Heart with him, tell him that you dont like what he is doing.... He may understand........ Still if he doesnt, then try the options above!
2006-07-06 20:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by nice_libra_guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ayo baby I think your Pops just loves you too much. Trust me everything will be fine as you grow older you will learn to appreciate the way your parents treated you.
I'd say if he ain't abusing nobody then just be humble and respect him.
Just try to enjoy every minute with your family. You will definitely miss it after you move out.
2006-07-06 20:40:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that when he was younger he did some bad stuff and now he thinks that you are the same and he just wants a better life for you but it turns out overprotective. he doesn't want anything bad for you just to keep you safe, but everyone needs to live their own live and learn by their mistakes. so i hope that he will chill and let you learn by your mistakes.
2006-07-06 20:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by SindyCat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell 'em the actuality guy. in simple terms tell them what you truly did and with any success your father and mom believe you and believe what actual befell. And next time both stick out your center finger or do not stick out something.
2016-10-14 05:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm... y not u juz have a gd talk wif him? or perhaps he is under some kind of stress and he is taking it out on u?
2006-07-06 20:57:39 · answer #8 · answered by LYY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a mom? If so, ask her for help w/your dad. If she won't help you, they you just gotta tough it out.
2006-07-06 20:36:36 · answer #9 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that pretty crazy
2006-07-06 20:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by tampabayfriends 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋