I have known her for while, but we don't talk regularly. She is busy with studies and never been in a relationship before. She loves my humor and she knows the fact that I know her likes and dislikes. I am afraid of telling her, because I don't want to lose her friendship.
I know I should tell her (my heart says)
2006-07-06 20:20:42 · 15 answers · asked by Rink 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
fight for her, tell her, invite her for romantic supper etc?
Here is advice from FAQ Farmers:
http://www.faqfarm.com/Q/Should_you_tell_your_friend_that_you_are_in_love_with_her
***What are you waiting for? You have to tell her. Don't let her get away. You will regret it someday. Just rememeber, you risk more by not risking anything at all.
***Honesty works best, of course. But saying "I love you" for the first time can be a huge leap and might come as shocking. Maybe it would just be a good idea not to tell her directly that you love her but drop very obvious hints in that direction. Send flowers or chocolates (or something really personally romantic) with a nice flattering note on it and be sure to include your name and await her reaction. That way talking might go a lot easier.
***No doubt about it: you should tell her. Always be honest. Having a romantic relationship with someone who is also your friend is a wonderful thing. If you lose her as a friend at least you would have tried.
***The problem with telling your best friend you love them is that it could damage the friendship. On the other hand, not knowing is even worse. If this person is truly your friend then the friendship will stay intact even if its temporarily akward.
***If you were going to die soon what would you do?
***I am a female. Don't send chocolates or flowers. Sit down and have a serious talk with her, pour your heart out. The worst thing that could happen is she doesn't feel the same way. So what, you might still be friends. My best friend of 10 years told me in high school he was in love with me and didn't wreck the friendship in any way. It's four years later and I still love him more than anyone in the world. Trust me, girls don't cross the line of friendship on their own because they are scared of being rejected and losing a friend at the same time. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life saying "what if?" I don't think so; just tell her.
***You should go for it. You should not expect her to see the signs to know that you are interested. Tell her. It's better to know than wonder. And remember that she might not be there forever.
***As I see it, you have two options, depending on (1) how important your platonic friendship is with this girl and (2) whether or not you are capable of maintaining that friendship and simultaneously moving on. In all likelihood, this girl already knows how you feel, and although she doesn't feel the same way, she really appreciates your friendship. Saying something to her will undoubtedly create an uncomfortable situation between you. If you value your friendship, and would like to continue it, you should stay friends but MOVE ON. Key words here: move on. But, if you're going to be attracted to her no matter what, and if you already know you're incapable of maintaining a purely platonic relationship with this girl, you should just tell her how you feel. If she rejects you, you've lost nothing. One other thing to keep in mind: spending a lot of time with this girl (walking her to class, talking on the phone) may intimidate other girls who are interested in you. Don't shoot yourself in the foot pining away for a girl you can't have.
***I know everyone above says to tell her, but telling the girl in my situation ruined everything. Although I had known this particular girl for a month in college and were good acquantances, I was nuts about her. So I flat out told her how I felt and would always tell her about my feelings. I had hoped that if she knew that I really sincerely loved her, she'd appreciate me and maybe eventually change her feelings. However, all that did was make her distant towards me. Yeah, we'd still be friends and hang out, but she would never show any form of affection (affection that friends of the opposite sex show each other that is) and would just brush me off at every corner. To make a huge story short, things just got worse and worse between us and we completely stopped talking altogether. The good thing is, I got over her. If I see her now, I feel absolutely nothing, which is a good thing I guess. So like some people say above, move on.
***I think you should tell her. The only negative thing she can do is try to put distance between you two, and you can easily put a stop to that by letting her know that she is important to you and that you won't let her just walk away. Whatever you decide to do, good luck and don't let your feelings for her go down without a fight.
***You really do have nothing to lose. Interest often evolves one-sided in friendships. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, if you two can overcome the intial awkwardness (however long that may be), ultimately it will bind your friendship to be stronger.
***It's a no-brainer. Tell her how you feel about her NOW. The platonic friendship is over, anyway, now that you're head over heels in love with her. And you're just straining things between you and her by hiding something this big. The question to ask is, HOW do you tell her how you feel? This depends entirely on the individual and the situation. Options range from a coy "I've started to develop feelings to you" to middle-of-the-road "I really care a lot about you" to the ultimate, "I love you." I've known my friend since I was fifteen (I'm thirty now). I started having feelings for her about three months ago. The pain of hiding my feelings was so stressful that at times it even manifested itself as physical discomfort. Yesterday I had enough. I couldn't talk to her the same, it was so hard to think of anything to say other than how I felt about her. So I told her. I now feel as if a great weight had been lifted off me. What a relief. And her reaction? She's acting as if nothing had happened, and that's fine with me. The bottom line is that she's still talking to me and that we're still friends. I wasn't asking her for anything, I was just telling her how I felt.
***Here's a sneaky technique. First, be real nice to her go out have lots of fun make sure that you give her sublte hints (being touchy-feely and all). Then slowly pull away from her day by day. She will confront you about being distant. Try to deny why you are being distant, and then drop the bomb on her. Yes, tell her that you can't be friends with her any more because you have been hiding your feelings for her. If she says she cannot be with you, she will surely be thinking of you and the many fun you'll had together. Sometimes you have to play mind games but the point is the ball will be in your court.
***I will go against the tide and tell you not to tell her that you are in love with her. I have had guy friends do that in the past and I do one of two things. I either 1) ignore the fact that he confessed his love to me in order to continue our friendship or 2) end the friendship. The feelings have to be mutual. If she has not given you any signs that she likes you back, then you might be "shooting yourself on the foot" and not only not get the reponse you wanted but lose her friendship. Trust me, if she likes you, you will know.
***Keep in mind that she MAY get away. And if she does it does NOT have to be the end of the world.
IN TOTAL YOU HAD 16 answers in ONE ANSWER!! go for it and GOOD LUCK!!!
NOW HOW to TELL HER:
Telling her "I love you" is an important step in building intimacy in a relationship.
Steps:
1. Think about when and where you want to tell her. Is there a special place you want to be? A certain day? For example, you might want to tell her at the restaurant where you went on your first date, or on the two-month or nine-month anniversary of your first date.
2. Set the mood and be romantic. Buy her flowers or a romantic gift.
3. Look at her directly, take her hand and tell her how positive you feel about her. Give her examples of things you really like about her. Be sincere.
4. Tell her how you feel being with her, and how much you enjoy your time together. Be specific about what you value and appreciate about being with her.
5. Follow these positive statements with telling her you love her in whatever way feels best for you. For example: "I feel I've come to love you," "I realize I love you," "I feel so much love for you," "I've fallen in love with you," or simply, "I love you."
Tips:
Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for her possible response if you are not sure whether she feels the same way about you. For example: If you are hoping she will say "I love you" in return, what if she doesn't?
Decide if you are ready to be that vulnerable and if you could handle whatever she may say.
Go for it if you feel ready to take the risk. Love is risky!
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VERY NB:
Be sober when you proclaim your love. If you have to drink to tell her how you feel, you are not ready.
Be sure that you love her. Think about how she makes you feel. Think about your future together, consider everything. Because if you don't really love her, and she loves you, then her heart will be broken when the truth is revealed. Don't do it unless you're 100% sure that you're in love with her.
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best wishes,
Desert
2006-07-06 20:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by Desert 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
An year & a half back i felt the same 4 my best friend. He is in a different city. Despite of the distance & the pain I'll have to undergo while missing him..........i confessed very frankly that i love him & cant think of a single second of my life without him.
He reciprocated to my feelings & said he too loves me very dearly.
Now is the time,he is still far but he is closest to me. We love each other even more.
My friend,if you love her,then do tell her. She'll understand you........... Believe me,...friends make the best life partners.
All my wishes.
2006-07-06 20:31:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you invite her out on a date to take a break from her studies - between exams and then tell her. You don't want to throw her for a loop if her head is only in the books, but if you think she can handle it then tell her in your own special way.
2006-07-06 20:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by sakura4eternity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the exact same problem right now! I recommend making a move, if she feels the same, you could have an amazing relationship, if not the friendship should last. Good luck and god bless!
-Jasmine
2006-07-06 20:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she's the most amazing girl you know, and see how she responds. If she pulls back, you can play it off like you didn't just confess your feelings to her, but if she smiles and moves closer to you than you know the feelings are mutual.
2006-07-06 20:24:42 · answer #5 · answered by im.in.college.so.i.know.stuff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk regularly with her then you would know what the next step is
2006-07-06 20:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by the_loner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your heart says yes then i think that is the best thing 2 do. me and my boyfriend were best of friends until he told me he fancyed me. i had a long think about it and then went out with him and we have been going out since february. if she does go out with you, make sure that you 2 promise each other that you 2 will stay mates with each other if you brake up.
2006-07-06 20:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
... dude ... give it up ...
many girls would say go for it ... but in reallity ...
you should not ...
a busy person should never be disturbed ...
i know i sound unromantic but... yeah...
this is ethically a must to entertain in our minds...
well it depends on her... see how she weight you to her duties...
it's better to fight a love with a knowledge of the situation...
than charging like a warrior that ends up dead because of innocence...
2006-07-06 20:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by john_frank_evangelista 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well before you tell her that you like her, tell her that your friendship is important and that you dont want to lose that no matter what happens... then tell her, and if she doesn't like you, then no biggie cuz youre still friends (easier said than done i know)... but hey.
2006-07-06 20:24:29 · answer #9 · answered by rumilb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her i would want some 1 to tell me
2006-07-06 20:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get good with a bow staff.
2006-07-06 20:22:26 · answer #11 · answered by Sentient6 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋