I realize this is standard, but I think my situation is different. I supported her through her five years of college, which enabled her to make good money now. I put alot of money in retirement and she elected not to put any in hers for a couple of years. I have $110k, she has $10k = I owe her $50k. This doesn't seem fair. Put this on top of 17-23% of my gross income for child support for 1 child. BTW I'm in Georgia. Any advice?
2006-07-06 19:08:12 · 23 answers · asked by missile man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Additioanl info: I've been married 10 years.
2006-07-06 19:25:59 · update #1
I would encourage you to see a "top-notch" attorney. Let the attorney present to the court the facts of your case and make a decision as to what is fair. Your situation "may" be different and I think it will matter that you supported her through her five years of college so your wife could make a good income.
Your choices were wiser when it came to retirement and no, it doesn't seem fair. Aren't divorces awful and ugly. I feel sorry for you and wish you the best.
2006-07-06 19:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by lindakflowers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You supported her through five years of college. Luckily, she is able to make good money now, which will probably impact favorably for you on the amount of alimony you'll have to pay her now. She IS able to support herself financially. That is great. And less burden for you. Had she not gone to college, she's be unable to make good money now and you'd be paying MORE alimony or even rehabilitative alimony so she could go to school to make good money.
She may have opted not to put money into her retirement. I don't know your details, but if there are kids in the picture, she probably took some time to have those kids, which may have impacted her earning potential, and the amount she'd be able to put away for retirement.
I am assuming your child lives with her since you're paying child support. 17-23% of your gross seems fair. The issue of alimony you pay your wife is separate from the child support you pay for your wife to care for your child. How much of your income would you spend on your kid if you were all still living together as a family?
This is a petty issue, IMO. She is the mother of your kid and that will never change. Negotiate to a point that is closer to your liking. But don't drag it out. The one who feels the conflict the most will be your kid. Goodwill is worth preserving for your child's sake, esp if she/he lives with your wife. Kids who adjust best to divorce are those with parents that can maintain goodwill toward each other.
2006-07-06 19:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by fabulousisjane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in Georgia and your in the worst state for a divorce...Georgia Judges like to give the women the works.
My advice to you is try and make your marriage work by all means, but if you possibly cannot do it, then 50% of your owned assets belongs to her.
You must pay child support and keep health insurance on your child and thats it.
If your wife seeks alimony then your in real trouble. Don't let her do that. Mutual 50% thats it. She cannot get money from, your check it don;t work that way.
she gets child support from your check and that is all she gets.
2006-07-16 05:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the "wife" that was a stay home mother of four children, married 32 years and when I had to go through this unwanted divorce recently, my attorney didn't want to have anything to do with my X's retirement accounts. My x was willing for us to settle on "that" money but my attorney opt for cash in another form. Of course I do not have a retirement acct. but taking cash in another form was better for me, because I was getting a dollar on a dollar. If i would of taken retirement money I would of have had to pay taxes on and the value of my settlement would of not been worth exactly as it would of seemed. So the courts had him pay be a settlement amount with cash to get me on my feet somewhat and then a larger amount that he will be paying me for the next six years in monthly payments. It was not called alimony. This was the first year I ever filed taxes and the income he pays me monthly I did not have to claim it but he also had to pay taxes on it even though he was paying me. So my point is, maybe it's not a bad way for you to settle with her. Just thought since you asked , i would reply. Maybe I should be telling her....... I truly wish both of you good luck. It's not fun.
2006-07-06 19:30:10 · answer #4 · answered by DG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been married a long time like over 15 yrs I bet. Start looking for new ways to save money. Thats how a lot of guys get screwed being married then getting a divorce thats why i thin some just stay married its cheaper.
2006-07-06 19:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is trying to swallow you and making your financial in real difficulty when both of you are officially divorced. Reasons that she may doesn't want you to live happily with your future soul mate coz woman are born jealousy.
Talk to your solicitor on how to have a win win situation. Alimony is a must for your wife but it doesn't mean that she can takes the advantages from you. I mean she is too mean and should be lenient on you unless you really did something unpardonable or making her piss off.
2006-07-06 19:17:44 · answer #6 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been married 10 years, and for 5 of that you supported her fully. Make sure you have a good divorce attorney, and I don't think she's going to get all that much. Perhaps you can get her to settle for some money.. take out a loan, and offer her 50,000$ cash.. or offer her something of equal value.. if she was going to make you sell your house to give her half of it's value, offer to just give her the house.. and then she can sell it or something.
2006-07-19 00:12:22 · answer #7 · answered by Imani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether it seems fair or not she is entitled to it based on the amount of time she was married to you. It's too bad you HAVE to support the children you created but those are the breaks. My advice...suck up and deal with it.
2006-07-18 19:34:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow im sorry to have to say this but you married her. and with your vows you vowed to take care of her. regardless of what happened in yalls marriage and the things that has happened if the judge says you have to give her half than you really dont have a choice. i know its hard and im sure you never wouldve thought that this would happen but maybe you will learn from this and do a prenuptual agreement with your next mrs. and of course we dont know what happened or what cause u to split up but theres things in this world that isnt fair the only thing to do is deal with it and move on yeah it sucks but if the judge says you have to do it than you have to do it. trust me the judge screwed me every which way when i got divorced from my ex husband and even though its been two years im still getting screwed. so i know how it feels.
2006-07-06 19:25:32 · answer #9 · answered by nancy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-08 16:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by boynton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋